Monday, June 21, 2004

Real Fathers


As all of the regular servinemup.com readers can tell by now, I’m very proud of my family. Both sides. There’s a lot of people who don’t have much interaction with their blood relatives, but I’m on the opposite end of that spectrum. I’ve been blessed to know both sides of my family tree extensively. I’m half Calion, Arkansas- Washington and half El Dorado, Arkansas- Scott…for those that are familiar, it’s a wild mix of breeds. I’m crazy as hell and my sister (pictured with me and our father ) is crazy as hell too. Of course, crazy IS relative, but it definitely runs in our family…...oops..hold on my phone is ringing….

Hello?

Dontchu tell evrabody a
ll the family bizness.

Don’t’ worry grandma, I’m not going to tell about our uncle who spent most of his life running through the woods hollering.

(pause) That wasn’t on my side, I’m a Hall. He was on your papa's side of the family, them Washington’s. I just married L.T., I don't have that crazy Washington blood in me. You can tell that.

Yes ma’am.


So I’ve got a lot of thangs going on in my blood, I’m subject to say or do anything. I’m Southside Houston Texas real and I’m Union County Arkansas crazy. Everybody tries to laugh and make jokes about Arkansas, but ya’ll better recognize that Arkansas game. It’s real. Bill Clinton is from Arkansas, and no matter if you love him or hate him, you gotta recognize his game. Enough with the chit-chat, let’s dig in and get REAL, because I’ve got some more people I want ya’ll to meet.



I’ve already introduced ya’ll to my Big Daddy, the late Bishop Sam Scott. This was a man in motion ya’ll. He got up and did it, everyday and every night. 12 kids mane…12 kids?? That’s knocking it out right there..Sam got his. Yes sirr…12 kids..bang! bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!…. Alright, alright, let me back off a little bit before I start trippin too hard, because everybody ain’t ready for that. I had the blessing of spending my Father’s Day with my father and his father, my papa pronounced: PAW-paw).

Although I am a native Southsider by birth, a large part of my childhood and early teenage years was spent in a town in Southwest Arkansas with a population of 513. Every summer, my sister and I spent 3 full months with our grandparents in Calion, Arkansas. My papa, L.T. Washington, has over 3 acres of farm land in Calion, which included a chicken coop and a large partitioned hogpen full of pigs. Papa is the oldest of his siblings and he had to go to the fields and work, picking cotton, handling a plow with a mule and any other thing he could do to help support the family. He attended school sporadically until the 3rd grade, which is when he stopped going to school altogether and started working the load of a grown man.



I always felt a special bond to my papa, someway, somehow, I could always tell that we were kindred spirits. The type of bond that transcends generational gaps and educational backgrounds and meets at the core of timeless realness. I had the pleasure of attending the men’s Sunday School class that papa teaches at the New Eastside Baptist Church, Rev. Lee Veil Faison, Pastor, in El Dorado, Arkansas this Father’s Day. An even bigger treat was being able to listen while papa got up before the church congregation and ‘gave a talk’ entitled ‘A Spirit Filled Man’. I enjoyed listening to him exhorting father’s to love and train their children in the way that they should go. His main point was that true fatherly love, will manifest itself over time.
Papa always took care of me as if I was his own son and in a lot of ways, I am and I’m very proud of him. With my own eyes I’ve even seen him run down and tackle a live goat even when he was well into his 50’s. All the way real ya’ll. Happy Father’s Day Papa, you’re of a salt that the world can never dissolve. Thanks for always letting me ride with you.



Whenever I go to Arkansas and visit, I often get this reception…



You GOT to be Dodo’s boy, cuz ya look JUS’ LIKE ‘em!! Looky dere’ Johnnie Mae, here go Dodo’s boy from Houston!!!



Who?



Dodo’s boy…you know Dodo? L.T. Washington’s boy??



Ohh..that’s his son ya say?




Shole is, jus look at em, he look JUS LIKE Dodo!!



He look like L.T. ta me.



He look like L.T. too…by the head, but look at his shoulders and how he walk, that’s all Dodo right there.




Everybody in Calion has nicknames. For conversational purposes, Dodo (pronounced like the bird) means ‘D’ in Calionese. Everyone there calls me ‘Man’ or ‘L.T.’s grandson’ or ‘Dodo’s boy’. My real name is actually, D.E. Washington II, not Jr. not III, not eleven…



Say mane..yo daddy is D. Washington 10th?



What??



I see your name is D. Washington 11th, so your daddy is the 10th right?




Naw mane..that’s not an 11, that’s the Roman numeral for 2.



Oh.

So yes folks, there is a D.E. Washington I, and let me tell ya’ll right now, he’s one hell of a father. I never used to think I’d say this, but as I’ve grown older, I feel proud to stand up and testify about it..



"I’m glad my parents whupped my az when I got out of line."



Yep..I was on the receiving end of whuppings with belts and switches and I’m telling the world that I’m GLAD that they disciplined me as such. Because above all else, my father made it very clear to me, that he would rather have a dead child, than a disobedient one. Sounds brutal maybe, but Bill Cosby called out the same phenomena when speaking of his father’s mantra..



‘I brought you into this world...and I'll take you out.’



If I didn’t feel this resolve in my father (and mother) I would have been a different person than I am today. Because I was a very slick and hard headed child..they had to GET me to make me pay attention. Once children realize that bullsh’t will not go unpunished?? The fog of ignorance begins to lift away from hard headed lil boys eyes. The thing about my dad, was that his love was very balanced. The welts of discipline were generously mixed with hours of loving care and instruction. My father was my first wrestling opponent, he was my first boxing instructor, he taught me how to shoot a basketball, how to throw a football, how to play dominoes, he demanded that I learn how to cook and wash clothes for myself,

Your woman might get mad at you one day and won't want to do those things for ya, every man needs to know how to take care of himself if he has to.

I caught my first fish under his guidance, I learned how to load and fire a rifle and a pistol under his watchful eye, he's my Sunday School teacher, close friend, fellow Christian and he was the ace pitcher, while I played shortstop on our championship winning softball team, the X-Men.

Above all the things we’ve shared together, my dad gave me an unwavering love and stability that has proved invaluable in my personal development. I often make decisions for my children today, based on how my father handled me and my sister when we were kids. Even through his chastisement, we always knew it was driven from a place of love.
Happy Father’s Day to all those father’s out there handling your business and taking care of your kids the best you can. No matter what you can or cannot do for them, when you tell them you’re going to do something..make sure you do it. That’s what’s called being real. Happy Father’s Day dad, thanks for ALWAYS keeping it real…I love you forever.