Ramadan

Wassup Player?

Hey! What?s going on Oak Cliff Spliff?

I wanted to call you and let you know that I?ve been checking out Servinemup?its TIGHT mane!

Thank you. I?m glad you?re enjoying it.

I do have one problem with it though.

What?s that?

I see where you?ve done a full article on Yom Kippur, and you?ve touched on several Jewish issues.

Yeah..and?

How come the Muslims can?t get no love?

Ahhh, its not like that, I?ve got love for EVERYBODY. I posted Yom Kippur after the Jewish holiday and I?m going to do the same thing for Ramadan.

Alright, just let me know if you need any help with the research.

The research for Ramadan is going along fine, but you know the majority of my audience is Christian. I?ve got to be very careful how I present it because a lot of Christians aren?t trying to hear ANYTHING that they feel is against the teachings in the Bible.

The Qu?ran isn?t AGAINST the Bible, as a matter of fact, it shares a LOT of the same ideologies found in the Old and New Testament. It even specifically states that there isn?t anything NEW written in the Qu?ran. It all has been written before.

Yeah, I know. But I also know that Jesus is just another prophet in Islam. He?s not acknowledged as the Son of God, no virgin birth, no resurrection.

True.

(laughing) Naw n?ga, that AIN?T true!! That?s the problem!!

I hear ya, but we?ve already had this discussion several times before. It comes down to what Book you choose to place your faith in. I was raised Muslim, you were raised Christian, we?re both bound to have our own myopic views of religion.

Yeah..but following Christ is the right one! (smiling)

The right one huh? Don?t forget about your Southside mantra?its not what it say, its what it DO..right?

Already!

Christians use Jesus as their shield and verification, but if you look at all the religious groups, Christians devote the least amount of their daily lives to actually serving God. They go to church on Sundays for an hour or two, say that ?God is great? prayer before they eat, then they go back to doing whatever. Islam is all about submitting. Our whole life is centered around worship. We pray at least 5 times a day EVERY day, our diet, professions, family and lifestyle is all structured around submitting to Allah.

Like I told you, I give ya?ll MUCH props for all of that. Everyone would be better off by devoting more of their time to worship. But the way I see it, God is perfect in every way.

True.

And for us to live our lives here on Earth and then go on to that ?upper room? to be with Him, we need to be presented appropriately. Our many sins make us like ?filthy rags? and there?s nothing we can DO to erase these sins. The only way to GET to that upper room is by grabbing on to that Wonderful Counselor who laid it down for ALL to have the opportunity to attain everlasting life. So what?s up? Come on down to the church with me so we can learn more about Jesus..they?re having pork chop plates this Sunday!

You funny mane.
___________________________________________

Worldwide, there are over a billion people who are members of the Muslim faith. Every year during the 9th month of the Islamic calendar, they celebrate Ramadan. Since the Islamic calendar is lunar based, the days varies from the traditional calendar we use in America. This isn?t a one day holiday, Ramadan is a month long observance of fasting and prayer. Muslims believe that during the month of Ramadan, Allah revealed the first verses of the Qur?an, the holy book of Islam.

Muslims practice sawm, or fasting, for the entire month of Ramadan. This means that they may eat or drink nothing, including water, while the sun shines. Fasting is one of the Five Pillars (duties) of Islam. As with other Islamic duties, all able Muslims take part in sawm from about age twelve. During Ramadan, families get up early for suhoor, a meal eaten before the sun rises. After the sun sets, the fast is broken with a meal known as iftar.

Fasting serves many purposes. While they are hungry and thirsty, Muslims are reminded of the suffering of the poor. Fasting is also an opportunity to practice self-control and to cleanse the body and mind. And in this most sacred month, fasting helps Muslims feel the peace that comes from spiritual devotion as well as kinship with fellow believers.

Ramadan ends with the festival of Eid al-Fitr, which occurred the day before Thanksgiving (November 26) in 2003. Literally the ?Festival of Breaking the Fast,? Eid-al-Fitr is one of the two most important Islamic celebrations (the other occurs after the Hajj, or pilgrimage to Mecca). At the Eid-al-Fitr people dress in their finest clothes, adorn their homes with lights and decorations, give treats to children, and enjoy visits with friends and family. A sense of generosity and gratitude colors these festivities. Although charity and good deeds are always important in Islam, they have special significance at the end of Ramadan. As the month draws to a close, Muslims are obligated to share their blessings by feeding the poor and making contributions to mosques.

Most people on the Souhside think all Muslims wear bow-ties and sell newspapers and bean pies on Scott St. or Reed Rd. Others think all Muslims follow Osama bin Laden and are just lurking around waiting to blow something up in the name of Allah. My reality is that the Islamic faith is actually very similar to Christianity. There is a defined law that some choose to distort and manipulate for their own endeavors, but by and large the faith is full of believers who have submitted themselves to the will of the Almighty. For anyone to label all Muslims as demon-possessed terrorists is just as bad as grouping all Christians as homosexual pedophiles. Christians have a lot to learn from the disciplined lifestyle of Muslims and Muslims are soldiers primed to receive the Amazing Grace of the Savior Jesus Christ. Once the people of God figure out how to strive together against our common oppressor, then maybe we can stop fighting against each other. One thing?s for sure, with all the wars and strife between Muslims, Christians and Jews, the only one pleased with all the chaos is Satan.

Ramadan

Wassup Player?

Hey! What?s going on Oak Cliff Spliff?

I wanted to call you and let you know that I?ve been checking out Servinemup?its TIGHT mane!

Thank you. I?m glad you?re enjoying it.

I do have one problem with it though.

What?s that?

I see where you?ve done a full article on Yom Kippur, and you?ve touched on several Jewish issues.

Yeah..and?

How come the Muslims can?t get no love?

Ahhh, its not like that, I?ve got love for EVERYBODY. I posted Yom Kippur after the Jewish holiday and I?m going to do the same thing for Ramadan.

Alright, just let me know if you need any help with the research.

The research for Ramadan is going along fine, but you know the majority of my audience is Christian. I?ve got to be very careful how I present it because a lot of Christians aren?t trying to hear ANYTHING that they feel is against the teachings in the Bible.

The Qu?ran isn?t AGAINST the Bible, as a matter of fact, it shares a LOT of the same ideologies found in the Old and New Testament. It even specifically states that there isn?t anything NEW written in the Qu?ran. It all has been written before.

Yeah, I know. But I also know that Jesus is just another prophet in Islam. He?s not acknowledged as the Son of God, no virgin birth, no resurrection.

True.

(laughing) Naw n?ga, that AIN?T true!! That?s the problem!!

I hear ya, but we?ve already had this discussion several times before. It comes down to what Book you choose to place your faith in. I was raised Muslim, you were raised Christian, we?re both bound to have our own myopic views of religion.

Yeah..but following Christ is the right one! (smiling)

The right one huh? Don?t forget about your Southside mantra?its not what it say, its what it DO..right?

Already!

Christians use Jesus as their shield and verification, but if you look at all the religious groups, Christians devote the least amount of their daily lives to actually serving God. They go to church on Sundays for an hour or two, say that ?God is great? prayer before they eat, then they go back to doing whatever. Islam is all about submitting. Our whole life is centered around worship. We pray at least 5 times a day EVERY day, our diet, professions, family and lifestyle is all structured around submitting to Allah.

Like I told you, I give ya?ll MUCH props for all of that. Everyone would be better off by devoting more of their time to worship. But the way I see it, God is perfect in every way.

True.

And for us to live our lives here on Earth and then go on to that ?upper room? to be with Him, we need to be presented appropriately. Our many sins make us like ?filthy rags? and there?s nothing we can DO to erase these sins. The only way to GET to that upper room is by grabbing on to that Wonderful Counselor who laid it down for ALL to have the opportunity to attain everlasting life. So what?s up? Come on down to the church with me so we can learn more about Jesus..they?re having pork chop plates this Sunday!

You funny mane.
___________________________________________

Worldwide, there are over a billion people who are members of the Muslim faith. Every year during the 9th month of the Islamic calendar, they celebrate Ramadan. Since the Islamic calendar is lunar based, the days varies from the traditional calendar we use in America. This isn?t a one day holiday, Ramadan is a month long observance of fasting and prayer. Muslims believe that during the month of Ramadan, Allah revealed the first verses of the Qur?an, the holy book of Islam.

Muslims practice sawm, or fasting, for the entire month of Ramadan. This means that they may eat or drink nothing, including water, while the sun shines. Fasting is one of the Five Pillars (duties) of Islam. As with other Islamic duties, all able Muslims take part in sawm from about age twelve. During Ramadan, families get up early for suhoor, a meal eaten before the sun rises. After the sun sets, the fast is broken with a meal known as iftar.

Fasting serves many purposes. While they are hungry and thirsty, Muslims are reminded of the suffering of the poor. Fasting is also an opportunity to practice self-control and to cleanse the body and mind. And in this most sacred month, fasting helps Muslims feel the peace that comes from spiritual devotion as well as kinship with fellow believers.

Ramadan ends with the festival of Eid al-Fitr, which occurred the day before Thanksgiving (November 26) in 2003. Literally the ?Festival of Breaking the Fast,? Eid-al-Fitr is one of the two most important Islamic celebrations (the other occurs after the Hajj, or pilgrimage to Mecca). At the Eid-al-Fitr people dress in their finest clothes, adorn their homes with lights and decorations, give treats to children, and enjoy visits with friends and family. A sense of generosity and gratitude colors these festivities. Although charity and good deeds are always important in Islam, they have special significance at the end of Ramadan. As the month draws to a close, Muslims are obligated to share their blessings by feeding the poor and making contributions to mosques.

Most people on the Souhside think all Muslims wear bow-ties and sell newspapers and bean pies on Scott St. or Reed Rd. Others think all Muslims follow Osama bin Laden and are just lurking around waiting to blow something up in the name of Allah. My reality is that the Islamic faith is actually very similar to Christianity. There is a defined law that some choose to distort and manipulate for their own endeavors, but by and large the faith is full of believers who have submitted themselves to the will of the Almighty. For anyone to label all Muslims as demon-possessed terrorists is just as bad as grouping all Christians as homosexual pedophiles. Christians have a lot to learn from the disciplined lifestyle of Muslims and Muslims are soldiers primed to receive the Amazing Grace of the Savior Jesus Christ. Once the people of God figure out how to strive together against our common oppressor, then maybe we can stop fighting against each other. One thing?s for sure, with all the wars and strife between Muslims, Christians and Jews, the only one pleased with all the chaos is Satan.

Thanksliving

Like most Americans, Thanksgiving day found me on my couch, watching football and sipping margaritas. Of course, everyone doesn’t watch football, but we try not to hold that against them. I was half-watching the game, half-musing about all the things that I was thankful for and mostly enjoying the margaritas. My wife was in the final stages of preparing the kids and herself. As I was smiling to myself thinking how much of a blessing it is to have such a beautiful wife, (thank you Lord), when the phone rang…

Happy Thanksgiving!! (I like to answer the phone hyped!)

(smiling) Happy Thanksgiving to you too!! David?

Yes?

Hey this is your cousin..

Wassup cuz?? (smiling)

Nothing. Your mama told me to call you and let ya’ll know that everybody is here. They’re waiting on ya’ll so that we can bless the food and eat.

Ops!! My bad!! I’m just sitting here watching the game and sucking down margaritas..we’ll be right over!!

After I hung up the phone, I got up to alert my wife to the situation. She was already ready, and had both the kids ready also. As we got in our cars to head over to my parents house, I couldn’t help but be thankful for yet another blessing. Everybody doesn’t live within 3 miles of their parents, thank you Lord.


If you drive around the Southside on a holiday like Thanksgiving, you’re going to see several houses with a lot of cars parked outside in the driveway and along the street. Family and friends getting together at grandma’s house or at an auntie’s house, enjoying the holiday season together in love. One of the common themes of Thanksgiving is enjoying a feast together. Those who have read ‘Spicy’ already know how the Southside enjoys GOOD food!! My mother always posts a menu for all to see what they like: fried turkey, smoked turkey, baked ham, mustard greens, collard greens, green beans, broccoli and rice casserole, candied yams, chicken and dumplings, giblet gravy, cornbread dressing, macaroni and cheese, homemade rolls, hotwater cornbread, tea, punch, soda,. Then there’s the dessert tables full of sweet potato pies, pecan pies, pecan cream cheese pies, pound cake, sock-it-to-me cake, german chocolate cake, Texas chewies, reading the menu alone will make you gain 5 lbs!

For those unfamiliar with a typical Thanksgiving meal on the Southside, ours normally goes like this. All the TV’s and radios are turned down, everyone gathers around in the dining area and holds hands in a circle. All the kids and adults are joined together, and anyone that has something they want to say have a free forum to express themselves. It could be a joke, it could just be a remark to let everyone know how much they appreciate the family, etc. My family happens to be stocked with soldiers of the Lord. Men and women who have committed their lives to serving the Almighty God. Preachers, Pastors, Sunday School Teachers, Deacons, choir members, piano players, drummers, pretty much every facet of the church is represented. Before the prayer, we had a reading of the scripture.

Psalms 34:1-3 I will bless he Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, And let us exalt His name together.

One of my uncles followed with the prayer, thanking God for yet another day, praying for our world leaders, praying for all the soldiers fighting for our country, thanking the Lord for allowing the family journey mercies on the highways so that we could all get together again and enjoy each other in love. All throughout the prayer everyone has bowed heads and remain holding hands. There’s always a splattering of ‘Amens’ and ‘Thankya Jesus’ throughout the prayer. Fortunately, this wasn’t one of those ‘neck breaking’ prayers that lasts so long all of the food gets cold. That’s the quickest way for a preacher to get run out of town on the Southside!

After the blessings were said and everybody started lining up to fix their plates, my uncle grabbed me to the side..

Hey nephew.

Wassup unc?

I heard you were at your house sipping on margaritas before you came over here.

Uhh..as a matter of fact, I was.

He frowned up hand gave me a stern look of disapproval..

Where’s mine???!!!

Holiday season is upon us and we all have many things to be thankful for. Despite all the wars, occupations, crime, poverty, disease and corruption that are so prevalent throughout the world, we ALL should take time to give thanks for all the good things that we have in our lives. Simple things like, being able to wake up and get out of bed every morning, family, friends and a myriad of other blessings which we so often ignore or overlook. Its very easy to focus on the negative things in our lives and exclaim, ‘Woe is me’. Instead of complaining, we all should focus on expressing our gratitude for all the blessings that God has bestowed upon each and every one of us. As my uncle so eloquently described in his prayer, instead of Thanksgiving we should call it Thanksliving, cuz everybody ain’t able.

I’m very thankful for all of my family and friends. I’m thankful for all the blessings that God continually gives me everyday. I’m thankful for the Servinemup audience and those who anxiously wait to get ‘served’ 3 times a week. And most of all, I’m thankful to have such a wonderful collection of people who love the Lord in my life. I am strengthened by their faith and I am immensely appreciative when I learn that others are strengthened by mine. Walking towards the Light can be a very intimidating and sometimes disheartening experience in this world. We all need a little boost of encouragement from time to time and I would hope above all else, that is what Servinemup does for people. Its also refreshing to know that servants of the Lord like tequila too. Happy Thanksliving!!!

Publicly Speaking

At some point in our lives, we all have our time to be on stage and under the glare of the spotlight. For some, the largest audience they ever address is their grade school classroom when all students have to stand up and announce their full name to the rest of the class. Others have to address larger groups such as full meeting rooms or auditoriums. My childhood experiences greatly prepared me for the inevitable tasks of verbally addressing a body of people. I used to become nervous and self-conscious whenever I had to go before a group. What if my words didn’t come out right? What if I forgot what I was supposed to say? What if everyone laughed and ridiculed me? What if everyone completely ignored me? What if I came out sounding like a complete idiot? These were among the many questions and ‘issues’ that knotted in the pit of my stomach in a continuous orb of anxiety.

Like most good Southern Baptist children, the first audience I’ve ever addressed was in the ‘church house’. Every Sunday school class had its turn of presenting the lesson to the entire congregation. As a member of the Beginner’s class, I was herded up to the front of the church and put through ‘the routine’ to show our parents and the rest of the church what we were learning in class…

(They lined all of us up side by side and we had two teachers facilitating our presentation. One directed the questions, the other stood close to the line making sure none of us started ‘acting up’.)

Class. Who is the Son of God?

JEEZUS!!! (We were taught to never be ashamed to say His name as loud as we could)

And who died on the Cross at Calvary?

JEEZUS!!! (5 year olds could yell this out pretty loud)

And who was resurrected on the 3rd day??

JEEZUS!!!

The longer we stayed up there, the more comfortable I became. We had already rehearsed all the questions in class over and over, so we all knew the answers. The confidence I had in knowing the material made me feel more at ease.

As I grew older and progressed to the Primary Boys’ class, the demands became a little bit more stringent. Gone were the easily recitable answers, replaced with the more intellectually challenging verse memorization. I remember one particular Sunday when we all had to memorize a Bible verse to recite. We were all allowed to pick whatever verse we wanted…a couple of my ‘slick’ friends quickly found loopholes in the system.

In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. (Dang! The first verse in the Bible..that was an EASY one! I wish I would have picked that one!)

Thou shalt not kill. (Dang! Another easy one!)

Jesus wept. (The shortest verse in the entire Bible..pure genius)

It just so happened that our Easter program hadn’t too long passed. And I already had a verse that they made me memorize for the program still in my head. Verses never go out of style, I might as well use it again…

For my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus.

I don’t know if it was smoothness that I rolled the verse off my tongue, or just the fact that I was the only one that didn’t minimize my task, but somehow I stood out from the group. Add to that the fact that I could read pretty well and I was immediately recruited to ‘serve’ in the church. I was nominated as the Junior Assistant Sunday School Superintendent. This meant that on every 3rd Sunday, I had to facilitate the Sunday school services in the sanctuary when all the different classes joined together. We had to have a prayer, a Bible verse reading, reading of the minutes, announcements and presentation of the lesson. Those first few 3rd Sundays, being in front of the congregation with a microphone in my hand was a bit intimidating. Somehow my voice sounded a lot different over amplified sound. I started getting weirded out when I scanned the crowd to see all eyes fixated on what I was saying and me. I was so busy worrying about everyone looking at me that my brain locked up and I couldn’t remember what I was talking about. There was an awkward silence as I stammered ‘uhh..uhhh’ a couple dozens times as I frantically searched the crowd for an answer. A couple of my buddies sitting in the pews started snickering and holding their mouths to conceal their laughter. I could feel my blood racing to my temple as my heart pounded louder and my palms grew sweaty. Just as I was about to have a complete meltdown one of the sisters of the church yelled out..

That’s okay baby!! Take your time!!

This was echoed by a chorus of ‘amen’s. I was having a complete meltdown and they were still supporting me??!! God is good!! Pretty soon, my Junior Assistant Sunday School duties became second nature. My public speaking duties graduated to a larger audience. I was given the task of being Master of Ceremonies for a 3-o’clock program at the church. This particular program drew a full house, even the balcony of the church was full. And since this was a lot less intimate and familiar audience than the Sunday school crew, my stomach was doing somersaults with nervous anticipation. As my time came to step to the microphone and facilitate the service, my knees wobbled and I had to balance myself with the handrail as I made the climb up to the podium. I had already been through the program hundreds of times at home in preparation, now I just had to just DO IT. As I looked out over the crowd of smiling, expecting faces, ready to have a good service, it seemed like everything was in slow motion as I made eye contact with every person in the crowd. Now was my time to shine…

First of all, giving all honor to God, Pastor Richardson, members of the pulpit, our congregation, members, guests and friends..

AMEN!! (They liked that proper protocol..you can NEVER go wrong when you start out giving honor to God)

My name is David Washington and I am your Grandmaster Flash for this evening.

A sudden hush came over the crowd. Something just didn’t sound right. ‘Grandmaster Flash’?? Did I just say that?? The black Southern Baptist crowd is known for being a very loud and responsive congregation..they definitely responded. The whole church erupted in a rich and full laughter that swept all the way through the pulpit and the choir stand.

GRANDMASTER FLASH!!?? Did he just say GRANDMASTER FLASH??!! Old ladies were laughing so hard that they had to pull out their handkerchiefs and dab the tears from their eyes, the men were slapping each other on the back and doubling over in laughter. One of my uncles happened to be in the crowd and he quickly separated himself from the congregation. I could vividly see the soles of his feet as he raised his legs off the ground in laughter. He then doubled over out of the pew and rolled onto the aisle..he was greatly amused. All the while I realized my mistake and all my fears had come to reality. I placed my forehead on the dais and just shook my head from side to side in disbelief..

‘Oh no’ was the only thing I could utter out of my mouth.

By the time the laughter had subsided, which took awhile, because everytime it started to get quiet, someone would yell out, ‘GRANDMASTER FLASH??!!’ and it would start all over again. The weirdest thing about the whole event was the feeling of calm that came over me as the program progressed. For those that have a fear of public speaking, being totally embarrassed in front of a crowd can be a very liberating experience. It obliterates all feelings of self-consciousness. Once you’ve made a complete fool out of yourself, everything else you do from that point on exceeds all expectations.

As an adult, I still have occasions to speak in front of crowds. Presentations for work, guest speaking engagements, church programs, etc. my public speaking skills are constantly being honed and refined. They have organizations such as Toastmasters to help develop these skills in a group environment. The most calming ingredient to me is proper preparation. Whether its memorization or well organized note cards, the best speakers have a smooth ‘flow’ of words. Minimize the ‘uhs’, ‘ums’ and blank spaces of silence and things normally ‘flow’ pretty well. I’m one of the fortunate ones that has been inoculated from experiencing any form of embarrassment. Some people still tease me to this day about the ‘Grandmaster Flash’ (a hip-hop pioneer that’s pictured above) incident. I always smile right back at them and retort, ‘at least I didn’t say the Furious Five too!!’’.

Baggage Check

When’s the last time you’ve been on an airplane?

Airplane? Man, I don’t even ride on roller coasters!! So you know I’m not about to get on an airplane!! If God wanted me to fly, He would have given me wings. Why do you ask?

Well, I’m getting pretty tired of commercial flying myself. Since the attacks on 9/11, it’s not as simple as it used to be.

What’s different?

First of all…you need to check in for your flight at least an hour ahead of time.

Why so early?

Because once you get to the airport, you have to have time to get through all of the security clearances.

What do they do?

Well..if you have check-in luggage, you have to check it in.

What’s ‘check-in’ luggage?

All the things that can’t fit under the seat or in an overhead storage bin on the plane.

Oh. How do you check it in??

You can check it in with the skycaps outside on the curb, or you can check your bags inside the terminal at the ticket counters.

What’s the difference?

Usually it’s quicker to do the curbside check-in. Once you get your boarding pass, you have to put your carry-on bags on this conveyor belt to be x-rayed. Then you have to take your shoes off before you walk through the metal detector.

Take your shoes off??!!

Yeah mane…everybody has to take their shoes off.

Why??

Some dude got on a plane and threatened to detonate some explosives that he had hidden in the soles of his shoes sometime after the World Trade center attacks and now that’s just a new ‘safety’ measure they’ve added to detect potential terrorists.

Wow. I didn’t realize it was like that.

Yeah..all that stuff made the level of security increase dramatically, now we all have to be under more intense scrutiny. And if you DO fly, make sure you don’t try to crack any jokes or anything while you’re passing through. Those airport screeners don’t have much of a sense of humor.

They can’t arrest you for cracking jokes!!

No..but if you try to be ‘funny’ saying stuff like ‘I hope ya’ll don’t find that bomb I hid in my bag’, they’re going to snatch your az out of line and take you over to the ‘hand-check’ area and go through all of your stuff INTENSELY.

You mean like a body cavity search or something?

I don’t know about the cavity search thing, but I’ve had to be hand searched a couple of times. They frisked me, made me take off my belt, they’ve even wiped all of my stuff down with these patches that detects bomb-making chemicals.

D’mn! They’re not playing around huh?

Not at all.


One of the traveling maxims that I always try to follow, is to travel as light as possible. The more bags you have, the more it will slow you down. Ideally, I prefer carry-on items only. The whole process of baggage check-in and luggage retrieval at the baggage claim carousel adds time and hassle to any trip. This same principle can also be applied to personal relationships. When two people are attracted to each other and decide to try and build a relationship together, the whole process can be considered the same as taking a flight. And just like taking a flight, there are certain procedures that need to be followed to ensure safe and enjoyable trip.

Itinerary: This is the schedule that everyone has before they leave on their trip. It really helps if both parties have the same destination. Big problems can occur if you get well into the trip and realize that you’re heading in completely different directions…

Exactly where do you see this relationship going?

What??

We’ve been dating for several months now and I just want to know where you see us heading?

This is a common crossroads that all relationships reach. Where one may be looking for a long-term commitment, the other may just be looking for a good time. Of course there’s nothing wrong with either motive, the key factor is honest communication to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Baggage Check-In: After the itineraries are prepared and deemed compatible, then comes the baggage check. This is where all past issues, problems and special situations are brought to the table and checked in for stowage. They don’t go away, they’re just ‘checked’ for logistical purposes. Some people bring piles of luggage that they’ve held on to since childhood. Bags of personal problems and hang-ups that they continue to hang on to. Of course everybody has their own ‘issues’, but once again the key objective at this point is honesty…

You know I can’t work.

Why not?

I hurt my back several years ago and I’m on lifetime disability.

Oh really? Do you get any type of compensation for your injury?

Yeah, I’ve got a lifetime injury settlement, as well as full retirement benefits when I turn 62.

You hurt your back, but are all of your parts below your waist ‘functioning’?

Oh yeah! Its JUST my back that I hurt, not anything below it!

Oh okay..that’s cool. I can deal with that.

The worst thing to potentially happen at this stage is the ‘okey-doke’ move. Some people conceal all of the luggage they’re bringing to the table. This may work initially, but rest assured somewhere along the trip, the luggage will show up and its going to have to be dealt with.

Security Clearance: With all of the things going on in 2003, its important that both parties pass through some form of screening process. Everybody may ‘talk’ a good game, but you’ll never really know each other until the paperwork is checked, carry-ons are x-rayed, and each person passes through the fraud detector…

(BEEEP) Excuse me sir..you’ve set off the fraud detector.

Fraud detector??

Yes sir. It seems you’ve just been acting like a ‘baller’. You're really up to your ears in debt, you live with your mother, you don’t work and you have 3 kids by 3 different women that you’ve been concealing from your companion.

Oh how embarrassing these moments of truth can be. With all of the crazy things going on in 2003, its always best to do a full exchange of paperwork before boarding the plane. Some people prefer to sneak their issues and hidden agendas onboard and then bring them out mid-flight and pull the ol, ‘Well, we’re up here now..you’re just going to have to deal with it.’ Of course this is an obvious ‘janky’ move, but it’s a common tactic that all need to be wary of. The goal is for all is to have a safe and enjoyable trip. Some people prefer to travel alone, others are patiently waiting for their ideal mate. Compatibility is key, those who prefer the window seat should pair up with those who like the aisle. Talkers should be with listeners and everyone should make sure they have on clean socks that don’t have any holes in them. Have a nice trip!! :)

Off The Wall

There’s a common practice in American society for the sharks to start feasting whenever there is a hint of blood in the water. The popular culture that is so anxious to glorify its icons is even more ready to vilify these same figures whenever the opportunity arises. The recent allegations that have surfaced concerning Michael Jackson are a prime example of this ‘feasting’ practice. One of the privileges we ALL enjoy as citizens in this country is the right of being ‘innocent until proven guilty’. Too often the courtroom of public opinion delivers its own judgment before the due process of the legal system takes effect. I am personally guilty of developing my own conclusions when presented with facts, as I think we all tend to do from time to time. But my experience of being part of the media machine, writing words that go into print for the public to read has given me a whole different outlook on the way in which I absorb information. Just because someone puts something in print, or broadcasts it on the TV or radio doesn’t mean that it’s entirely true.

The media industry is first and foremost a business. Printed media is generated to maximize circulation. Television news programs are designed to attract more viewers. Radio shows are broadcast with the purpose of gaining more listeners. No matter how noble the individual writers, newscasters and radio personalities may seem, their job objective is to attract and sustain the largest audience possible for that particular media ‘space’. The people who bring the news and information to the forefront are just a tool of the larger machine. Behind the scenes, these tools are really just a public mask that the machine uses to present information to the public. Each media outlet and entity has its own slant that is conducive to the will and ideologies of its executives and owners who sign all the checks. As a writer and a loyal citizen of the state, I have no gripe with this process. Everybody has their own different agendas and motives in the way that they take care of business, that’s just a reality of our capitalistic society. The problem I have is when the media’s offering is fed by hate and the public masses gather around the growing flame in a bloodthirsty frenzy.

Ha! I’m GLAD they’ve got that weirdo! I hope that put his sick az in jail!!

Michael Jackson bought his way out of those allegations several years ago, but I think they’ve GOT him this time!!

By the time he gets out of jail, he’ll have changed his name from Michael to Michelle, you know how they do those child molesters in prison!!

I hadn’t seen one news story or read one headline before I was inundated with all these personal rants on the developing story of Michael Jackson. It seems that every person I came in contact with, even complete strangers, made some mention of the recent events surrounding the case. Somehow, everyone seemed to have been anxiously waiting for the chance to jump on the ‘I Hate Michael Jackson Bandwagon’, and these recent allegations were just the lil push that they needed.

Unlike most people, I am not ashamed to admit that I am a Michael Jackson fan. My fascination with the ‘King of Pop’ started way before these recent allegations, before his marriages, even before his cosmetic ‘enhancements’. I officially jumped on the Michael Jackson bandwagon when I was 8 years old, when the youngest member and lead singer of the Jackson 5 released his first solo album in 1979, ‘Off The Wall’. The way Mike could dance and sing held my captivated attention and I wanted to dance, sing and grow an afro just like his. Those fond memories paved the way for the Thriller album, which had me wondering who Billie Jean was. Then came Bad, which was one of the first times that I started realizing that Mike must be feeling some pressure from the man in the mirror, because he wanted everyone to just leave him alone. I had grown out of my childhood adoration of him, but I still thought he was the #1 entertainer of all time, it just seemed that he was growing a bit ‘weird’ with his face and stuff. This spiraling into ‘weirdness’ just seemed to grow larger everytime Mike surfaced in public view. Dangerous, HIStory, Blood on the Dance Floor and Invincible were all albums released with their own trailers of ‘peculiar’ Michael Jackson info.

In a way, I feel sorry for Mike, because he’s led a life that most people could not even begin to imagine. Since his humble beginnings as a dancing machine from Gary Indiana, he has always been at the center of attention whenever he walked into a room, arena or stadium. Just the idea of always having every word, movement and action magnified for public scrutiny since childhood is burden that most of us could not even begin to understand. Add to that the obvious betrayal and distrust that he has experienced from those closest to him, and its not hard to surmise that Michael Jackson is by no means an ‘average’ guy. It seems the fame and fortune that vaulted him to the top of the recording and performing industry, is the same mechanism that’s causing so many to berate and talk bad about him now.

I share the same assessment of Michael’s current situation as Johnnie Cochran, the lawyer who defended Mike in 1992 when he reached an out of court settlement when threatened with a similar molestation charge. Cochran said he's tried to counsel Jackson "not to ever put yourself in that position" of being alone with young children. "But that's who Michael Jackson is, he's a very, very naive person in many respects, and there's no question about that. Yeah, he does wear a bull's eye," Cochran said. In a weird twist of coincidence, these allegations have been brought out at the same time of Michael Jackson’s latest album ‘Number Ones’, a greatest hits compilation that was released this past Tuesday. I have no clue on whether these allegations are true or not, and as disturbing as they may seem, I choose to assume Mike’s innocence unless proven otherwise. I pray that Mike learns and grows from this trying experience that he’s going through. Life ain’t so bad at all, if you live it off the wall.

Real

Hello?

Say MAANE!!! (one of my HYPED friends, everybody should have at least one)

(smiling) Heyyy…wassup?

You tripping mane!!

Tripping? Tripping about what?

You got n'gas all ready to get ‘served up’ and I see the same post you put up Friday!

Yeah..I’m sorry about that.

What’s the d’mn deal? You fading out? Getting tired? Changed your mind about writing? Wassup??

No..none of that. I write everyday.

Well..where its at??

I have several articles written, I just sometimes have problems with the editing.

Editing? You mean like misspelled words and commas in the wrong place?

No, the computer pretty much takes care all that kinda stuff. I’m talking about writing things that hurts or offends other people.

Aww, don’t start that sh’t now!!

Don’t start what?

Mane..one of the things that makes your writing FRESH, is that it stands out from all that regular mainstream stuff. You break your sh’t down on the REAL…everybody can feel real.

Thanks for the compliment.

For real mane..don’t water your sh’t down, keep it REAL. You got us out here fiending, gone and serve it on up n’ga…

Allready!

__________________________________________________________________


By now, I’m sure most visitors to this website know about my love for the Southside of Houston, Texas. As much as this is a geographical specific place on the globe, it is much more than just a physical place to me, its home. Back when Highway 288 was still a grassy knoll and Airport Blvd was a gravel road and the only way out was to take Scott St. or Martin Luther King Blvd to 610, I’ve been calling this place my home. But it really goes beyond these physical boundaries. The Southside is all about family and people living together trying to help each other along in this journey on earth. If your car breaks down on Cullen & Reed Rd., its common for someone to stop and render aid. Of course this occurrence of chivalry increases greatly if the person in distress happens to be a well-built woman in a short tight skirt, but ya’ll know how that goes.

Unlike most other hard-headed boys on the Southside, my world was never constrained to the 713 area code. From the day that I was born, all the way up until my last years in high school, I spent 3 months a year in a small town in Arkansas with my grandparents. At the end of every school year my parents would take my sister and I to the sprawling metroplex of Calion, Arkansas, population 635. There we’d stay with our grandparents and cousins until it was almost time for the school year to start. What’s supposed to be (Kal-yen), most of the folks pronounce (Ka-yun). It’s a typical Southern town with rail road tracks running right through the middle. Black folks on one side, white folks on the other. It’s the kind of town (pictured above) where kids can play all day in the street and you don’t have to worry about them. My grandfather worked at the sawmill, as well as farming several acres of crops. He grew everything, greens, squash, purple hull peas, tomatoes, watermelons, peppers and so on. He also had a full chicken coop and a pigs that he kept in a pen towards the back of the property. My grandmother was always right there working with him, harvesting, canning fresh produce for the winter, taking care of us and cleaning them ‘white folks’ house. I think its good for everyone to spend time with people from older generations, they can teach you things that you can never learn from a book. I’ll never forget one day when my grandfather and I were walking back home one day and he spotted a penny, half buried in the ground.

Lookah dere’ Man..some money.

Aww Papa..that’s just a penny.

Jus a penny?? (He gave me a look of disbelief as he stooped to pick it up and dust it off and put it in his pocket) Boy, don’t you know 100 pennies make a dolla?

That was my first lesson in ’grinding’, and I didn’t even know it at the time. Calion won’t allow you to be fake, because everybody in Calion already knows all of your business, who your mama is, who you THINK your daddy is as well as who your REAL daddy is. Calion is full of folks that are used to living ‘close to the earth’. People who know how to grow their own produce, people who know how to kill and clean their own meat. Texas is known for its gun-toting independence, but Arkansas is probably well ahead of Texas as far as the number of guns per person. Whenever people are put close to nature and all of its animals, they are a lot more comfortable with having firearms close at hand. In Calion, you’ve got to keep a rifle close by in case a wolf or a bobcat tries to get into the chicken coop. It’s the same principle we have on the Southside, except instead of the wolves and bobcats, we keep our eyes open for jackers and crack heads.

As much as I talk about the Southside and how REAL it is, the true fact of the matter is that the spirit of the Southside is everywhere. No matter if you’re on the 72nd floor of an investment firm on Wall St. or if you’re reading this on your cousin’s computer in a double wide trailer in Calion, real doesn’t change. My reality is that I’m committed to Servinemup for at least 3 posts a week (at least until the 1st book drops) and I’m staying real with everything that I write. Thanks to all the people who check out the site at least once a week, even more thanks to the people who post comments and /or email me with their feedback (servinemup2@aol.com). Thank you Calion..Jelly Roll Street.. Fo’ Row, Tat, Red Man, Gub, Pistol, Friendly and all my podnas that was down with me way back when everybody called me ‘Man’. You all taught me how to grind and that Southside gave me the polish to shine. Ya’ll stay real, cuz you know I’m going to do the same. I've met a lot of other 'real' people in my life, from college, in the workplace, in the club, at church, on the basketball court, on the golf course and I'm glad that ya'll are riding with me too. Ya’ll keep kicking it with a player, its only going to get better mane..I’m TELLIN ya!!


I am pleased to announce my first ‘cover’ article titled ‘Irrigation System Slang - The Hook-up On Irrigation A22’ in the October 2003 issue of Turf Magazine.

Janky

Janky "jang-key"
One who is shady in character and therefore is not dependable.
Those Enron executives were janky.



To date, one of the most popular characters that I have introduced to the Servinemup audience is Reverend Janky. For those that have joined late and are unfamiliar, Rev. Janky first showed up on the scene in the 9/18/2003 post ‘The Art of Flirting’:

Church Flirting

Good morning Sis. Truett..how are YOU doing??
Just fine Rev. Janky..and you?
I’m blessed, I’m blessed..(grabbing both of her hands and looking all the way down from her toes up to her hair while shaking his head slowly and smiling displaying a full gold-toothed grill) Lawd have mercy! You sure ARE blessed!! I gotta get me one of these good Sunday hugs!
You’re so crazy Rev. Janky. (smiling and hugging him)
Uh huh..just make sure you come see me during my office hours this week..I might need to ‘lay hands’ on you…(watching her intently as she walks away) Lawd Lawd Lawd..God is SO good!!

He’s made several re-appearances, most recently as a callin to DJ Get-Wit-Cha’s ‘Superfreak’ radio show…

Alright..next on the line, we’ve got Pastor Janky, calling in from that South Acres..what it do Pastor Jank?

Amen brother. I’ve been listening to your show, and I just wanted to say a word or two on what the Good Book has to say about this ‘freakin’.

Go ahead.

I’m not trying to talk down about anybody, cuz Pastor Janky has done MUCH freakin in his day, a lot of your listeners I’m sure I used to freak with (Halleluia)... For those single super freaks out there that can‘t seem to control their urges, the Bible says its better to marry than to burn.

Burn? You mean like get the clap?

Naww, I mean like burning in hell for fornicating.

Oh.

But no matter what you have done, if you get down on your knees and repent and pray to God to strengthen you toward the right path, He’ll hook you up.


It’s never been my intention to offend or discredit REAL ministers and leaders of the church through the personification of Rev. Janky. I imagine I’m like most people who fear God and strive to abide by His Word. I fully understand that we are all human and subject to error, but I have a problem when people attempt to justify their sin by misrepresenting God’s Word. We have all definitely sinned and come short of the Glory, but that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to just accept sinful ways as a part of our lives and not seek to repent and turn away from them.

I find it disturbing when people who are put into the position to minister and lead God’s flock, blatantly act out against God’s Word. And the real kicker to me is when these pastors, minister, bishops, etc. expect the church to endorse their obvious sinful actions as acceptable in the eyes of God. I fully realize that on the largest scale, God’s plan is constantly at work and there are some parts of His plan that I can never begin to understand, but I am very cautious and wary of ‘janky’ people who misrepresent the Word of God by mouth or by action. I don’t hold any form of religious office or position. I consider myself a Biblical novice, meaning I’ve read the Bible in its entirety once and I lean on it constantly seeking better understanding of God’s will. Because no matter how good a minister or preacher is, there is no substitute for studying the Word on your own. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I think my reading comprehension is pretty good. And there are several themes and passages throughout the Bible, that characterize my ‘gripe’ I have with religious leaders who blatantly sin against God. The book of I Timothy in the New Testament (NKJV) contains explicit pastoral instruction for those so deemed to lead the flock, I Timothy 3:1-7

1 This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; 3 not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; 4 one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5 (for if a man does no know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); 6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. 7 Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

Being an overseer of the church (i.e. pastor, bishop, etc.) is a huge responsibility that is not meant to be taken lightly. The great part about America is that we have the freedom to choose our religion and how/where we worship God. The primary importance to any church is for its leaders to teach and set an example for others. Church leaders are held to a higher standard in which their followers will not only do as they SAY, but also as they DO. Religion represents the way in which we serve God and ANY religion that alters, misrepresents or ignores the direct Word of God is definitely ‘janky’.

When I turn on my television and see the numerous ‘ministers for God’ in their lime green suits and heavily adorned jewelry, steady laying hands and speaking in tongues, I can’t help but wonder..’What is THIS all about?’ Some are out for the money, some for the fame and recognition, and some are just in it for the women (or men).. The fruit that they bear will expose false prophets. The Southside motto applies here too, listen to what it says, but make sure you watch what it DOES. Watch out for the ‘janky’ move ya’ll.

The Klumps

Have you seen that Nutty Professor movie remake by Eddie Murphy yet?

The one where he's this big fat guy?

Yeah..that one.

I've seen it. That movie is kinda gross, but its funny as hell! That grandmother of his is off the CHAIN!!!

Yeah, I think its funny too. But one thing about that movie that isn't funny is their eating habits and obesity levels.

Aw man, that's just a movie. They exaggerate characters and stuff for the dramatic effect..you know, just to get laughs.

Oh its funny in the movie, but when you look at the American society today, we're a country that's addicted to fast-food and the 'all you can eat' mentality.

Well, you know how that goes. America is a capitalistic society, we don't fast, we FEAST!!

Um hmm..we're feasting now, but when that high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks, kidney failure or diabetes kicks in, we're the first one's to start crying and moaning 'Why me Lord??!!'

Hey..we all have to die one day, we might as well enjoy ourselves while we're here.

I agree. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't use our common sense and modern medical knowledge to try and keep our body in good shape for as long as we're here. Death is inevitable, but the quality of your life BEFORE you die is something that too many people take for granted.

What's so bad about enjoying food?

Its only bad when you just go too far with it. People that don't make the effort to eat a balanced diet with fresh fruits and vegetables greatly increase their risk of developing serious health problems later on in life.

Like what?

There's a lot of things..like diabetes. Its one of the surging diseases in America today, especially for minorities like Black folks and Hispanics.

I thought you had to be born with that to get it?

Those with Type I diabetes are born with it.

What does it do?



Type I diabetics have a genetic problem where their pancreas doesn't make insulin.

What's insulin?

Insulin is this hormone that is made in the pancreas. When you eat your food and your digestive system breaks it down to a simple sugar to fuel your body, insulin is what allows the sugar to be accepted from the bloodstream into your cells. If the insulin level is too low, these sugars are trapped in the bloodstream and if not addressed, the person can go into a diabetic coma because their body isn't getting the energy it needs.

What does that have to do with the Klumps? If that's something they're born with, you just have to deal with it, right?

Yeah..for those that are born with it, they just have to take insulin shots and watch their diet. But Type I diabetics makeup less than 10% of the diabetic population. Over 90% of the people with diabetes are Type II.

What are Type II's??

Type II diabetics are normally overweight and they don't exercise. Basically, their pancreas can't make enough insulin to handle all of the food that they digest.

Can it kill you?

If left unattended it can. The medical community has known about diabetes mellitus , since 1500 B.C. Diabetes is a Latin based word that means 'siphon' and mellitus is the Greek word for honey or sweet. They called it this because people who had it had to urinate frequently and it had a sweet smell to it due to all of the sugar that was passed through the urine that the body couldn't absorb. People who had it were doomed to die pretty quickly all the way up until the 1920's when they found the proper steps to take for insulin and diet control.

How do the people with Type II diabetes know they have it?

That's the wildest part about it, MOST people who have diabetes, don't even know it yet because their symptoms are mild or non-existent right now.

What are the symptoms?

There's a few things to look out for: Frequent urination, excessive thirst, slow healing of cuts and bruises, blurry eyesight, always being hungry, feeling tired and weak, sudden weight loss, numbness or tingling in feet and hands, etc. The best thing to do, especially for those over 40, overweight or with a family history of diabetes is to get your blood checked for it annually. Those who don't handle up on the situation and just let it go are subject to losing limbs, going blind, heart attacks, strokes, kidney failure, impotence in men and even death.

IMPOTENCE??

Yeah mane...your freaking days will be over if you get that diabetes and don't take the proper medical and lifestyle steps to correct it.

I'm not trying to be here and not be able to DO nothing!

Hmph..you think erectile dysfunction is bad, you should check out those people who have to deal with kidney dialysis everyday..its not a fun way to live. Diabetes is the 5th leading cause of death in America and it afflicts over 120 million people worldwide.

Man..I ain't trying to be caught up in THAT loop!!

You'll be alright if you just take good care of yourself lil Hercules. Just remember, french fries are NOT a vegetable!!

Learn More About Diabetes

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

We’ve all heard that question at one time or another in our childhood. Like most other kids, I knew it was best to give grownups a great ‘feel good’ answer whenever they posed that question to me. I had previously tried the honest road and responded with “I want to be Ultraman”, but it always seemed to make them frown or just laugh out loud like I was crazy. For some strange reason, being a super hero wasn’t a commonly accepted career aspiration. So I changed my game a bit and gave them something that they liked.

I want to be a doctor.

All grownups and relatives love to hear that ‘I’m gonna be a doctor’ answer, it’ll make them smile and become proud of you just by saying it.

Oh!! That’s a GREAT aspiration to follow young man. You’re going to have to make real good grades and go to school for a lot of years, but you can do anything that you set your mind to.

Good grades? Go to school for a long time? What was that all about? All I knew was that I was good at that electronic game called Operation (The Wacky Doctor’s Game), where it takes a very steady hand to win. Whatever aspirations I had of joining the medical profession didn’t last long though, especially after I discovered that my stomach didn’t respond well to the sight of real flesh and blood. I didn’t realize that I had a deficiency for surgical procedures until I just happened to observe my father cutting up a whole raw chicken one day. The mere sight of raw chicken flesh and that bag of ‘innards’ they pull from the inner body cavity kinda made my legs go wobbly. This ‘weak stomach’ was definitely going to deter my surgical abilities. I quickly gave up my medical profession goals and decided I wanted to be a garbage man. They get to ride on the back of a truck’s bumper while hanging on to with one arm and whistling and cursing all day? That sounded like something that I REALLY wanted to do. It wasn’t until my mother gave me the JOB of making sure all the trashcans in the house were emptied and taking our big trashcan out to the curb once a week for trash pickup that I changed my mind. Being directly involved in the waste process gave me a whole new level of understanding..trash stinks.

Since then, I’ve had numerous career goals, as well as the reasons that made me change my mind:

1. A professional football player (I was too injury prone to last one game)
2. An entertainer like Michael Jackson (Unfortunately, I can't sing or dance)
3. A policeman (A lot of my family members hated the police, so I changed my mind)
4. Crime Fighter (I learned that Batman and Superman weren’t real people)
5. Mafia Boss (I wasn’t Italian)
6. Stuntman (I hurt myself everytime I tried a stunt)
7. World Class Chef (I only knew how to make fried bologna sandwiches)
8. A Pimp (My mom wasn’t going to let me keep any hoz in the house)
9. Gangsta Rapper (Main problem was that I wasn’t a gangster and I couldn’t rap)
10. Professional Wrestler (Being DDT’ed and put in the ‘sleeper’ hold changed my mind)


Obviously, I was just like most people, completely clueless to what I really wanted to do. Upon graduating from high school, I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. I followed the well-known formula of going to college and putting off making any real career decisions for as long as I could. Believe it or not, they don’t let you just go to college and have a good time. At some point you have to ‘declare’ a major, preferably something that you’re interested in. I had gotten a hold of a magazine, which listed the average starting salary for several different professions. Nuclear physicist was at the top of the list, but even I wasn’t THAT weird. I finally decided on Electrical Engineering because the average salary was towards the top of the rankings and it sounded pretty cool. “Yeah baby, I’m an Electrical Engineer..but you can call me EE.” Yep! I liked that one!

Since then I have sat in many engineering classes, seminars, engineering meetings and project groups and I’ve found myself wondering, ‘What am I going to be when I grow up?” It’s very easy to fall into the ‘trap’ of the road most commonly traveled. Get as much education as possible, then get the job that will pay the most money. Sometimes these jobs have absolutely nothing to do with our training. Instead, most jobs challenge our ability to conform. Because after you get the job, you have to perform to keep the job. For some, the hardest part of their day is just getting to work on time. Others have to grit their teeth and bite their tongue and put up with bothersome people, whether it be co-workers, customers or even the boss. We all do what we have to do to take care of our families and responsibilities. Some are blessed to have a job that they love that pays them very well. Others trudge to a job that they hate only to receive a paycheck that’s already spent before they even get it. I didn’t even ponder my own placement on this job satisfaction scale until I had a talk with my grandmother several years ago..

Do you like your job?

Yes ma’am, I like my job.

What do you like about it?

Well, its close to my house, it pays pretty well, I get to travel and see more of the world and it’s in a field that I was trained in.

When you wake up in the morning, do you get out of bed happy to go to work?

(this question caught me off guard) Uhhh…no ma’am, I can’t say that jump out of bed happy to go to work.

That means you don’t like it then.

Her simple definition of job satisfaction made me pause and reflect. I always try to approach my jobs with a positive attitude. Even if you don’t like your job, the people and/or the pay, having a bad attitude about it doesn’t help the situation. There are a lot of people that would be happy just to have A job..no matter the work conditions. I made up my mind a while ago to never complain about the things, which I have no control over. Instead of wallowing in self-pity I just focused my energies toward figuring out what I REALLY wanted to do with my life. Although my training and my vocation are in the technical world of electromagnetic fields and computer programming paradigms, my soul thirsted for a larger fulfillment. I was initially afraid of venturing out and following my wildest dreams, because that was just too scary. But once I surmised that this is my one and only pass through this life, I no longer had any reason to be afraid. Always shoot for the moon, even if you miss your mark; you will still land amongst the stars.

Super Freaks

You’re listening to KSRV FM 33.3 on your radio dial! Giving you the most in music and information on the Southside!! This is the late show with your host, the man of the hour that makes the ladies scream and holler, DJ Get-Wit-Cha and I’m ready to get this thang started. Like we say on the Southside, ’It’s ON again!!‘ The phone lines are open now, give us a call and get ‘served’, ya’ll know the number!! Our topic of discussion for tonight is, ’My DJ is a crack head’…wait a minute..who wrote that on my sheet?? Seems like my program manager is full of jokes tonight. The REAL topic for discussion is, ‘Superfreaks’, you might be one, you might be married to one, how are you dealing with it? Let’s go ahead and get the atmosphere right and start the show off with a freak classic by the group Whodini, ‘The Freaks Come Out at Night’..

Man!! That Whodini is STILL jamming!! “Freaks come in all shapes sizes and colors, but what I like about them most is that they’re real good lovers!” Ain’t that the truth?! Hmph! Everybody must have been waiting for this topic, because our phone lines are lighting up like a Christmas tree!! First caller, we have Shanequia calling from that Yellowstone..you’re on the air Shanequia , what it do?

Hello?

Yes..go ahead, we can hear you.

Oh..okay. What’s up DJ Git Wit Cha?

Same ol thing, in this studio doing my thang, what’s up with you?

I just wanted to call in and say what I have to say about Superfreaks.

Go right ahead.

My husband and I have been together for a couple of years and now our sex life is starting to get boring.

What’s the problem? Are you craving some more ‘freakin’ in your life?

Allready! He just wants to do the same ol thang all the time and even when he does that, it doesn’t last long.

He’s not taking care of the house huh?

Hmmm..you see what I’m tawkin about! But the worst part is, whenever I try to ‘flip’ it a bit and throw some new thangs into the mix, he gets mad and defensive, saying stuff like, ‘Where did you learn THAT from??!! ‘

Well, sounds like he’s stuck on you being his ‘virginal’ wife, he’s not ready to deal with that ‘freak’ in you.

It’s to the point where I’m gonna have to ‘call Tyrone’ to take care of this here..if you know what I mean.

Uh-ohhh, before you go calling the ‘clean-up man’ or the ‘Jody the candy licker’ or whateva you may call him, you should make sure you and your husband sit down and have a real open talk about each other needs and expectations of one another in the bedroom. Cuz bringing other people into the mix doesn’t solve any problems, it just adds to it. Allright…here’s our next caller, dialing in from that HC-Hiram Clarke, we’ve got Big Black..what it do?

Heyy. What it do Get Wit Cha??

Day to day grinding over here baby, you know how that go. You freaking or what?

Well, I’m calling cuz I USED to be freaking, but I had to put that there to the side.

Oh yeah? I thought once a freak always a freak?

Nah, I had to gone and put mine on chill awhile ago. I just wanted to call in and let all them brothers out there getting their freak on know, that if you’re out there doing your thang, you gotta get your blood checked regularly.

I feel ya Big Black..speak on it.

Just like a lot of brothers out there, I used to think that I could stick and move all I wanted to, as long as I wasn’t making any babies with these ladies, it was all good. But I’m here to tell ya’ll mane, that HIV is real. A lot of people talking about how men can’t get it from women and that’s just not true. A lot of brothers will use condoms at night, but later in the night or that next morning when you're rolling over..ain't nobody trying to see no condom then!

That’s all the way real.

And the way these youngsters are out here now, super hot and freaking non-stop, we’re just at the tip of the iceberg for how bad the its really going to be. The main thing I wanted to tell all your listeners, brothers and sisters alike, is to make sure you get tested regularly and that the best freaking is monogamous freaking with one partner.

Allready!! And for those that are afraid of needles they now have the HIV test that only requires a finger prick. Look here Big Black, I’m sure glad you called in and dropped some knowledge, stay strong brother and keep your eyes on the prize. Alright..next on the line, we’ve got Pastor Janky, calling in from that South Acres..what it do Pastor Jank?

Amen brother. I’ve been listening to your show, and I just wanted to say a word or two on what the Good Book has to say about this ‘freakin’.

Go ahead.

I’m not trying to talk down about anybody, cuz Pastor Janky has done MUCH freaking in his day, a lot of your listeners I’m sure I used to freak with. I used to be THE Superfreak of the Southside before I turned my life over to the Lord (Halleluia). For those single super freaks out there that can‘t seem to control their urges, the Bible says its better to marry than to burn.

Burn? You mean like get the clap?

Naww, I mean like burning in hell for fornicating.

Oh.

But no matter what you have done, if you get down on your knees and repent and pray to God to strengthen you toward the right path, He’ll hook you up.

Man, that’ll be a whole lot of praying for those SUPER-DUPER freaks out there!

Allready..but there’s hope for everyone. We can do ALL things that strengthen us, all we gotta do is ask Him.

Allright Pastor Janky, Big Black and Shanquia…thank you all for calling in to the show and sharing your viewpoints on ‘freaking’. I’m about to slide on out of here, but before I go, let’s listen to the anthem that made Super freaks a household name. The 80’s classic from our boy freaky deaky Rick James…SUPERFREAK!! Keep your game tight and your sex loop tighter, its WILD out there in the 2-3 ya’ll. This is DJ Git-Wit-Cha signing off from FM KSRV 33.3..consider yourself ‘served’.

Born With A Grip

Say mane, did you go vote yet?

Huh? Vote? Vote for what?

The first Tuesday in November is Election Day. There’s the mayoral election and several key local referendums that are at stake.

Aw man, I don’t even get all into it like that. I’m just one person, my vote doesn’t matter with them white folks.

It’s that type of thinking that will always keep poor black folks down. If not for anything else, you should vote because its MANY people that have given their life just so that we can have the OPPORTUNITY to vote.

Yeah, I guess I never thought about it like that.

Don’t be one of them trifling az n’gas that’s always complaining but never DOING anything.

I’m not trifling!!!

Hmph, that remains to be seen. Its not what it say, its what it DO!!

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There have been many discourses written concerning the plight of the slave-descendants in America. From the horrific middle passage details that showed how they literally stacked African on top of African, subjecting them to unsanitary conditions, minimal air circulation and just enough food & water to keep them alive. All for the sake of maximizing their profit margin. They even made 'loss provisions' for the ones that they knew would die along the journey. Many slave ships were followed by feasting pools of sharks that fed off the dead African bodies that were callously thrown overboard.

Once here, the Africans were subjected to the harshest working conditions, poorest living conditions, no educational avenues and no hope to achieve. But through blood, sweat and tears and the amazing grace of God, those Africans found a way to survive..and have children, and they taught their children how to survive and although it took over 300 years, the African descendants were eventually set free.

But freedom came with a price, years and years of oppression had put the Africans behind their European immigrant counterparts in education, commerce, living conditions and politics. The American creed that some were so quick to expound, 'All men are created equal' didn't apply to the African descendants. Blacks were less than a full white man...of closer value to a horse. Blacks weren't allowed the same rights as whites, most importantly, the right to vote.

In 1870 the 15th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified, "Section 1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude." This was 'supposed' to uniformly grant black males (women STILL couldn't vote yet) the right to vote. But them old guard white men were enraged that so many 'coloreds' could gain political power. So they came up with barriers such as poll tax's, literacy tests, vouchers of 'good character', etc. to continue to exclude the right of voting from this surging population of slave descendants.

It wasn't until the Voting Rights Act of 1965 that blacks were allowed the undeniable right to cast their vote to govern their county, city, state and federal communities. This didn't come without a hefty pricetag, many people suffered and lay prey to the resentful hand of the white man. Families were intimidated, businesses' were harmed, people were hurt, maimed, jailed and killed for Blacks to gain the right to vote.

All the folks that are constantly griping about how 'the man' is keeping black and poor folks down, need to stop complaining and realize what's going on in the world. People are risking death daily from around the world trying to gain access to the United States of America's soil. Asians, Africans, Mexicans, Croatians, Haitians, Cubans, the list is neverending. They're putting their lives and their children’s lives in peril on cramped boats in the open water, or crossing dangerous terrain or paying smugglers thousands of dollars, but everybody's trying to get here.

Slave descendants have been here for years and as much as we can lament our history, we can just as easily celebrate our present. We were born on U.S. soil, which LEGALLY grants us all the rights of full U.S. citizenship.

It don't matter if you don't like 'nayrn' candidate on the ballot, the fact is, you owe it to your ancestors that toiled and shed blood just to get this right to vote. For all the ways in which the 'system' is set up against us, the 'grip' of being a U.S. citizen is the biggest lick you can start off with on the face of this earth. It's all up to you how many times you can flip it. Get out and vote!!

What It Do

Good morning.

Good morning! (smiling) What it do?

What does WHAT do?

That’s what I just asked you.

Excuse me??

‘What it do’ is just a form of greeting..kinda like ‘What’s going on?’, ‘What’s up?’ or ‘What’s happening?’

Oh. Is that some more of that ‘Southside lingo’?

You already know.

Who makes up all of these phrases?

What do you mean?

All of these phrases and colloquialisms like ‘What it Do’ Hittin Licks, ‘Pulling a Stunt’? Who makes them up? Is there some kind of Southside guru that creates them or something?

(laughing) Southside Guru??! Naww, the only guru on the Southside is reality.

Reality?

Yeah..that’s where most of those catchy phrases originate from.

Why don’t they use proper grammar and sentence structure for these phrases?

Because most people on the street don’t have any formal education. The streets don’t require things like proper semantics and grammar to make it, it’s all about communicating effectively.

I’m not from the street though, how am I supposed to KNOW these phrases?

If you get on the 52 Scott Metro bus route and ride it for a couple of hours, you’ll be able to pick up a lot of the lingo from conversations and context clues.

I’m not about to get on a public bus just to learn some Ebonics!

Well if you don’t want to get THAT close to the street, the next best thing is to just keep checking out Servinemup, it’ll keep you in the know.

‘In the Know’? I assume that means ‘informed’?

(smiling) You already know!!
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‘What it do’ is a very popular phrase on the Southside. Its not a pop cliché that’s just waiting to fade into oblivion as soon as the next catchy phrase shows up. Its actually a phrase that has been around for years and the spirit of its meaning will endure for eternity. Unlike other slogans that feed off popular music lyrics like, ‘Don’t worry, be happy’ or ‘Whomp! There it is!’, 'what it do' cuts through all the b.s. and addresses what’s real. What’s real has very little to do with words or appearances. The core of what’s real is all about actions..what it do.

A lot of people go through life ‘running game’, making others think it is, when actually it ain’t. A common method of operation for these ‘game runners’ is to first make it LOOK good. Fresh dressed like a million bucks with shining clean cars, their glimmering appearance dazzles the masses. The glittering appearance is meant to be a distraction, much like a hypnotist sways a watch from side to side. Overloading the brain with graphic images that makes the eyes swirl, all the while bypassing the centurion of rational and conscious thought.

People in the know are all on top of these characters. No matter their intentions, or how sweet the words that these ‘fly’ people speak, the wise are not distracted by their razzle dazzle. Street people have seen this game of deception time and time again, and they know its not how it looks or what it says, its ALL about what it does.

What it do isn’t exclusive to the Southside, it applies everywhere in the world and is rooted in many Biblical scriptures, I John 2: 15-17 being one example:

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.

That 17th verse is very specific, it doesn’t say ‘he who SAYS or ‘he who WRITES’ or ‘he who READS’ or even ‘he who TALKS ABOUT’. It specifically says, ‘he who DOES the will of God abides forever.’ What it do has nothing to do with external appearance or verbal declarations. What it do is all about what’s real…our actions.

Of course, everyone who says ‘What it do’ isn’t thinking about God and His laws when they say it. Most of the time its just used as a simple greeting between friends. Sometimes it’s used as a suggestive flirt between two lovers. And sometimes wild eyes and a quivering stance accompany the phrase as a dope fiend searches for his next fix. The undeniable truth is that it doesn’t matter how you say it, when you say it or where you say it. The only thing that matters, is what you do.