Monday, May 17, 2004

Swangin and Bangin

My daughter and I were on our way to the drugstore one evening and we found ourselves waiting for a red light to change at the corner of Reed Rd. and Scott here on the Southside. Immediately when the light turned green, a car that was on the opposite side of the 4-lane wide Reed Rd, darted from the parking lot of TP Seafood and cut in front of all the traffic that had started once the light turned green. This particular candy painted Cadillac proceeded to veer from one side of Reed Rd, to the other. Swerving like a drunk driver from curb to curb, taking up both lanes. Once he got in front of the Just Oxtails Restaurant, he popped open the trunk, slammed his car in reverse and backed into the lane of opposing traffic. Headed down a crowded street driving backwards with the trunk open with loud music blaring. The top of the trunk had the words 'Run Tell Dat!' in red neon letters and the rims and 5th wheel were glistening chrome. My daughter observed all of this and as we passed by and kept on to the drugstore, she asked me a simple question,

Daddy, why did that man drive like that?

I pondered this question for a moment, because this wasn't the first time I had seen a hustler doing what we call, 'swangin and bangin' here on the Southside, but it was the first time I had to attempt to explain this phenomena to an 8 year old.

Well Monster, a lot of that has to do with the fact that there's a lot of young black folks together drinking and tripping. Someone is bound to want to 'show out'.

But why did he open his trunk and drive backwards like that?

He just wants to make sure everybody sees him.


Whenever you see guys swerving from side to side down the street, boguarding the lanes and acting like they own the streets, don't be too quick to anger. As obnoxious and ignorant as it may seem, this 'swangin and bangin' is often a very effective marketing ploy for those with a product or service to sell. When you consider the underworld of pimps, players, thugs and hustlers that are out grinding to get money that the government knows nothing about, they can't always follow the conventional means of business. Pimps can't put out a sign that says, 'Hoz here!' Drug dealers can't put up billboards that says, 'Our crack is the freshest!' So instead these underworld hustlers have to do all their marketing on the street. No matter what it is you do or sell, the simple fact is that if you want to be successful? You've gotta be known baby.

By no means am I endorsing any form of illegal activity. Where some frown in disgust and derision at drug dealers, I instead see them for their enormous distribution potential. Crack is a virus that is crippling the black family, but if I can convince all the block bleeders to put down the crack and sell a book?? Wow, the possibilities are endless. They already have the superior advertising and presentation and when you throw in their lingo, it won't be long stretch for them to go from hittin licks with birds to books….

Say mane, check it out, I got that HOT sh't in my hand!!

Hot huh? How much is it hittin fo?

That's up to you. I got these nice 'bumps' of short stories that hit for a dime , a full fledged novel for twanky.

Is it any good?

Mane look here, have you ever read any D.E. Washington?

Naww, I don't think I have.

Aww n'ga, then you don't know what's UP! That n'ga been putting it down for a minute now. You can check him out on his website, servinemup.com, D. be putting it down.

Is it some drug glorification?

Naww podna, Jesus is King in all of these books, that's all he be talking about. He's coming at them from all kinda angles though, street hustlers, hoopers, college boys, church folk like Rev. Janky, players, pimps, he's got some hoz in there..it's a full meal mane.

Sounds interesting.

I'm TELLLIN YA mane! This is what you need right here! Watch, just gone and buy the short stories and I bet you'll be back for a nuddin! Shii, come Christmas time or graduation you're going to be wanting to buy a whole PACK for all the folks you know that NEED to be reading what D. is pushing.

How much is a pack?

C'mon dog, 50 packs sell all day long on the Southside. 6 books for $50?? You can't beat that dog. Holla at me mane!!! Spread the Word mane! Especially if you one of them n'gaz that don't never go to church or give time to the Lord, this could be your purpose right here..buy 2 packs and pass them out to all the heathens you know! Nah, run and tell THAT!!


As you can see, I've already applied the Southside street distribution paradigm to my writing function. I try to roll out material that will swang and bang and make readers turn their heads and pay attention. Southside keeps their mouth wide mane. As long as I stay true to my Lord and acknowledge Him in all my ways, I know that He will direct my path, so I'm not tripping.


Each time I roll out a new post, I'm addressing the largest audience that I've ever faced in my life and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Web logs, or 'blogs' for short, are a common publication vehicle for writers. Statistics show that the average 'blogger' writes for about 3 months and then just stops writing due to lack of interest or support. I have been fortunate to be blogging at servinemup.com at a 3+ post a week clip since July, and I'm eagerly looking forward to my printed media debut. Until the time comes for Real Game to hit the streets, I've still got to increase my reader base. So when you see me knocking on your email inbox, 'Git Yo Serve On Fool!' you'll know that I'm not disrespecting, that's just D. swangin and bangin and doing his thang. Because no matter what it is you do in this world, whether it's a product you're selling or a service you're pushing, if you want to be successful, you gotta be known baby.