At some point in our lives, we all have our time to be on stage and under the glare of the spotlight. For some, the largest audience they ever address is their grade school classroom when all students have to stand up and announce their full name to the rest of the class. Others have to address larger groups such as full meeting rooms or auditoriums. My childhood experiences greatly prepared me for the inevitable tasks of verbally addressing a body of people. I used to become nervous and self-conscious whenever I had to go before a group. What if my words didn’t come out right? What if I forgot what I was supposed to say? What if everyone laughed and ridiculed me? What if everyone completely ignored me? What if I came out sounding like a complete idiot? These were among the many questions and ‘issues’ that knotted in the pit of my stomach in a continuous orb of anxiety.
Like most good Southern Baptist children, the first audience I’ve ever addressed was in the ‘church house’. Every Sunday school class had its turn of presenting the lesson to the entire congregation. As a member of the Beginner’s class, I was herded up to the front of the church and put through ‘the routine’ to show our parents and the rest of the church what we were learning in class…
(They lined all of us up side by side and we had two teachers facilitating our presentation. One directed the questions, the other stood close to the line making sure none of us started ‘acting up’.)
Class. Who is the Son of God?
JEEZUS!!! (We were taught to never be ashamed to say His name as loud as we could)
And who died on the Cross at Calvary?
JEEZUS!!! (5 year olds could yell this out pretty loud)
And who was resurrected on the 3rd day??
JEEZUS!!!
The longer we stayed up there, the more comfortable I became. We had already rehearsed all the questions in class over and over, so we all knew the answers. The confidence I had in knowing the material made me feel more at ease.
As I grew older and progressed to the Primary Boys’ class, the demands became a little bit more stringent. Gone were the easily recitable answers, replaced with the more intellectually challenging verse memorization. I remember one particular Sunday when we all had to memorize a Bible verse to recite. We were all allowed to pick whatever verse we wanted…a couple of my ‘slick’ friends quickly found loopholes in the system.
In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. (Dang! The first verse in the Bible..that was an EASY one! I wish I would have picked that one!)
Thou shalt not kill. (Dang! Another easy one!)
Jesus wept. (The shortest verse in the entire Bible..pure genius)
It just so happened that our Easter program hadn’t too long passed. And I already had a verse that they made me memorize for the program still in my head. Verses never go out of style, I might as well use it again…
For my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus.
I don’t know if it was smoothness that I rolled the verse off my tongue, or just the fact that I was the only one that didn’t minimize my task, but somehow I stood out from the group. Add to that the fact that I could read pretty well and I was immediately recruited to ‘serve’ in the church. I was nominated as the Junior Assistant Sunday School Superintendent. This meant that on every 3rd Sunday, I had to facilitate the Sunday school services in the sanctuary when all the different classes joined together. We had to have a prayer, a Bible verse reading, reading of the minutes, announcements and presentation of the lesson. Those first few 3rd Sundays, being in front of the congregation with a microphone in my hand was a bit intimidating. Somehow my voice sounded a lot different over amplified sound. I started getting weirded out when I scanned the crowd to see all eyes fixated on what I was saying and me. I was so busy worrying about everyone looking at me that my brain locked up and I couldn’t remember what I was talking about. There was an awkward silence as I stammered ‘uhh..uhhh’ a couple dozens times as I frantically searched the crowd for an answer. A couple of my buddies sitting in the pews started snickering and holding their mouths to conceal their laughter. I could feel my blood racing to my temple as my heart pounded louder and my palms grew sweaty. Just as I was about to have a complete meltdown one of the sisters of the church yelled out..
That’s okay baby!! Take your time!!
This was echoed by a chorus of ‘amen’s. I was having a complete meltdown and they were still supporting me??!! God is good!! Pretty soon, my Junior Assistant Sunday School duties became second nature. My public speaking duties graduated to a larger audience. I was given the task of being Master of Ceremonies for a 3-o’clock program at the church. This particular program drew a full house, even the balcony of the church was full. And since this was a lot less intimate and familiar audience than the Sunday school crew, my stomach was doing somersaults with nervous anticipation. As my time came to step to the microphone and facilitate the service, my knees wobbled and I had to balance myself with the handrail as I made the climb up to the podium. I had already been through the program hundreds of times at home in preparation, now I just had to just DO IT. As I looked out over the crowd of smiling, expecting faces, ready to have a good service, it seemed like everything was in slow motion as I made eye contact with every person in the crowd. Now was my time to shine…
First of all, giving all honor to God, Pastor Richardson, members of the pulpit, our congregation, members, guests and friends..
AMEN!! (They liked that proper protocol..you can NEVER go wrong when you start out giving honor to God)
My name is David Washington and I am your Grandmaster Flash for this evening.
A sudden hush came over the crowd. Something just didn’t sound right. ‘Grandmaster Flash’?? Did I just say that?? The black Southern Baptist crowd is known for being a very loud and responsive congregation..they definitely responded. The whole church erupted in a rich and full laughter that swept all the way through the pulpit and the choir stand.
GRANDMASTER FLASH!!?? Did he just say GRANDMASTER FLASH??!! Old ladies were laughing so hard that they had to pull out their handkerchiefs and dab the tears from their eyes, the men were slapping each other on the back and doubling over in laughter. One of my uncles happened to be in the crowd and he quickly separated himself from the congregation. I could vividly see the soles of his feet as he raised his legs off the ground in laughter. He then doubled over out of the pew and rolled onto the aisle..he was greatly amused. All the while I realized my mistake and all my fears had come to reality. I placed my forehead on the dais and just shook my head from side to side in disbelief..
‘Oh no’ was the only thing I could utter out of my mouth.
By the time the laughter had subsided, which took awhile, because everytime it started to get quiet, someone would yell out, ‘GRANDMASTER FLASH??!!’ and it would start all over again. The weirdest thing about the whole event was the feeling of calm that came over me as the program progressed. For those that have a fear of public speaking, being totally embarrassed in front of a crowd can be a very liberating experience. It obliterates all feelings of self-consciousness. Once you’ve made a complete fool out of yourself, everything else you do from that point on exceeds all expectations.
As an adult, I still have occasions to speak in front of crowds. Presentations for work, guest speaking engagements, church programs, etc. my public speaking skills are constantly being honed and refined. They have organizations such as Toastmasters to help develop these skills in a group environment. The most calming ingredient to me is proper preparation. Whether its memorization or well organized note cards, the best speakers have a smooth ‘flow’ of words. Minimize the ‘uhs’, ‘ums’ and blank spaces of silence and things normally ‘flow’ pretty well. I’m one of the fortunate ones that has been inoculated from experiencing any form of embarrassment. Some people still tease me to this day about the ‘Grandmaster Flash’ (a hip-hop pioneer that’s pictured above) incident. I always smile right back at them and retort, ‘at least I didn’t say the Furious Five too!!’’.
