Where are you going?
I’m going over to my cousin’s house to play some dominoes.
Aww hell!!! There you go AGAIN!!
What are you getting all riled up about??
Is your cousin George Earl going to be there?
Probably..why?
Then you don’t need to go over there.
Why do you say that??
Because, that has to be the craziest n’ga on this earth. I can’t even understand how he hasn’t been locked up somewhere by now.
Aww..George Earl is cool..he’s just one of those people who likes to get rough.
The last time ya’ll all got together, everybody got drunk, started fighting and you ended up breaking your hand and having to get stitches in your head.
Well that’s just cuz George Earl got a little too carried away re-enacting the DDT wrestling move on Bubba. I just got caught up in the fray when Bubba got mad and started swinging, we were trying to break them up.
All ya’ll are kinfolk, but everytime ya’ll get together, you end up fighting. I’m the one that always has to take you to the emergency room for x-rays or stitches and take care of you later. Gone and go over there if you want to, you’re obviously just as crazy as they are.
Its all good. You don't need to be tripping.
Hmph. We’ll see how much I’m ‘tripping’ when you come back home broke up and bleeding again.
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I’m sure everyone has at least one family, friend, neighbor or co-worker that is a bit ‘out there’. They may 'look' normal, like Marilyn Munster (pictured in the pink dress) but beneath the surface they are crazy as hell. Somehow, someway their words, mannerisms and actions push the envelope for society’s accepted ‘norm’. The extreme cases go too far and end up having to spend some time in one of those institutions where everybody wears soft slippers all day and all meals must be eaten with a rubber spoon. The milder cases are always the life of the party and can be counted on to say something funny all the time. Everyone has something about them that’s ‘different’, I guess that’s why the term ‘crazy’ is relative to the circumstance involved.
While I was in grade school, my parents had some serious worries as to the state of my mental well-being. It seems that I was answering too many of their questions with a delayed and confused ‘Huh?’. I also had a high propensity for spectacular collisions that usually caused a big knot to be visible somewhere on my forehead. Between my apparent hearing loss (‘Huh? What?’) and my extreme clumsiness (‘You knocked that plant over AGAIN??!!’), they were sure that SOMEthing was wrong. Whenever I would do something REALLY crazy or have that dazed and confused look on my face, my father would just shake his head and tell my mother.
Something ain’t right with that boy….
Fortunately, my parents had the resources for me to get tested by medical professionals to make sure my hearing, motor skills and thought patterns were ‘normal’. Once the last doctor informed my parents that I was physically and mentally sound, my parents took it upon themselves to become stricter with their discipline. A firm rod applied to the behind will make someone ‘acting’ crazy straighten up and ‘act right’ very quickly. Needless to say, those numerous ‘act right’ moments administered with a belt or switch caused the fog of confusion to be lifted from my level of understanding..it was a miracle! I was cured!!
It wasn’t until I ventured out into the general public that I realized that there really were some crazy folks out there. From the people walking the streets having fierce arguments with their ‘invisible’ friends walking beside them, to the people who just stand around with a smile on their face holding a sign that says ‘Welcome Aliens!’, everyone has their own different grasp of reality. Some balding men put on ridiculous toupees or hairpieces and think, ‘No one will ever know’. Some 400 lb women put on blonde wigs and squeeze into a pair of daisy dukes and think, ‘I’m fine like Beyonce’..its all relative.
Now the REAL kicker is when you have to deal with crazy family members. Some of them may look normal, like Marilyn Munster in the pink dress in the picture above, but they have that crazy lurking underneath the surface, waiting to get out. . Just like Chevy Chase’s crazy brother-in-law played by Randy Quaid in the movie National Lampoon’s Vacation, crazy kinfolks can make your life a lot more..interesting. From the ones that show up at your house out the blue one day and want to ‘borrow’ your VCR, to the ones that stir the pitcher of Kool-Aid with their bare hands, you’ve got to keep your eye on those crazy relatives. Crazy in the singular sense can be controlled by a majority of sane individuals. But when two or more of the same kind of crazy get together?? It’s time to either get out the guns and restore order or call the police, cuz that crazy sh’t can get out of hand QUICKLY.
The problem with shooting (or beating up) one of your kinfolk, is that there’s always going to be some family member that’s going to be a bitter about it and hold a grudge against you if you do it. ‘Ya’ll didn’t have to jump on George Earl like that, you know he don’t mean no harm’ The best thing to do if one of your kinfolk starts talking that ‘crazy’ is to call their mama, grandma, wife or whoever it is that looks after their crazy az. If they tell you, ‘Please, don’t hurt him, you know he ain’t got good sense.’ Then its best to just let it go and get away from him. But if they tell you, ‘Gone and handle your business kinfolk, that n’ga needs some act right put on him’ then you already know what needs to be done. Obviously, I’m one of those people with a LOT of crazy kinfolk. Fortunately, I’ve never had to shoot one of them and its even better that none of them have had to shoot me. We all make sure to repeat our family mantra whenever we all get together, “Let us live together and love one another.” If you say it often enough, it will ward off many crazy episodes from happening.
