I’m sure most readers have realized by now, I’m quite fluent in ‘Southside lingo’. I guess you can say that I’m bi-lingual in a way. But sometimes I like to give people a hard time when they don’t know me and just assume that I’m literate in ‘jive’. I don’t do it to be mean, I just do it to raise people’s awareness. A lot of people (white and black) really believe all the linguistical stereotypes of Black American men, that our verbal communication has to include split verbs and ebonical slang. I think it’s important to try and learn as many forms of communication as possible. Good grammar and clear diction are valuable assets in the business world and in life. And as much as I recognize the need for decorum in the professional environment, there is also a level of familiarity and closeness reached, when I talk amongst ‘my peoples’ in a social environment. I use the word n’ga in my speech, but I censor the audience and place that I use it as I would a curse word. I truly believe that all people should be judged by their heart and character and not by their race, color or sex. I make a point to seek out all the undercover brothers that are walking this earth and believe it or not, they’re not all black men….
White Front Desk Attendant at a high-rise office building: What’s happening bro?
Undercover Brother: (As a rule, the first time a non-black person try’s to get ‘cool’ on a slang level, turn straight corporate conservative on them, just to see if it throws them off) Hello, how are you doing today?
W: Jus chillin like a villain bro..what’s happening? (He smiled a smug ‘knowing’ smile)
UB: I beg your pardon? (Frown up and look extremely puzzled and confused)
W: Aww bro…don’t start trippin’.
UB: I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understood what you said? ‘Bro? Trippin?’ Is that some sort of derogatory stereotype aimed at lampooning the global systematic educational oppression of people of color?
W: What??? (His smile faded from his face like chalk on the sidewalk when it rains)
UB: I mean..of all the people that have passed by you in this building today..just because I’m black, you assume that I can communicate with you in some ridiculous ‘street’ dialect??
W: No..well, no dude. I was jus trying to make you feel more comfortable.
UB: More comfortable?? So I guess next you’ll want to take me out to lunch and buy me some fried chicken and watermelon??!!
W: No..man, I’m sorry of course not!! I didn’t mean it like that at all!! I just wanted to ..(his face had turned beet red, his eyes were as wide as saucers and he was so nervous he started stuttering) I’m sorry man..for real. I didn’t mean any harm.
UB: (keeping a completely straight face) I accept your apology and I really hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson from this whole experience.
W: Yes..I have! I HAVE learned something from you today sir.
UB: Good…now maybe you can direct me to the office that my appointment is in.
W: Of course!! What office are you looking for sir?
UB: Cut-Snip-Stitch Vasectomy Services?
W: Sure..that’s on the 5th floor and you can use the elevators to the left. And I must say, that’s a nice tuxedo you have on sir, is there a special ocassion today?
UB: Say mane…I just told you where I’m going!! If I’m go be M-po’-tent, I want to LOOK M-po’-tent!
Most undercover brothers (with a strange sense of humor) that have tried this ‘stunt’, can count on seeing a variety of expressions flash across the white person’s face. It’s usually a combination of confusion, fear and/or reserved amusement. I normally have to struggle to keep from laughing out loud, before I turn and walk away while they stare at the back of my head. Sometimes their mouths gape open or sometimes they’ll cock their heads to the side like a confused puppy, trying to figure out what kind of ‘medicine’ I’m taking.
Now, for you black folks who are hearing this joke ‘If I’m go be M-po’-tent, I want to look M-po’-tent’ for the first time and are laughing right now, that’s okay, but if you say it out loud and buck your eyes wide open and stick out your butt and make your lips look big and expressive, kinda like Kingfish (the guy in the hat at the top of the steps in today's picture) from Amos and Andy..then it’s REALLY funny!!! Make sure when you tell your co-workers this joke, to act it out with the facial expressions and ‘coon’ mannerisms and just watch how hard you can make them laugh. When they’re finally able to catch their breaths wiping the tears away from their eyes, tell them to check out http:www.servinemup.blogspot.com at least once a week, so that they can get some more jokes.
Now for the white folks that are hearing this joke for the first time and are laughing I strongly discourage you from repeating this joke out loud...unless of course there are not any black folks around..then feel free to do it (and make sure you do the enactments just like a real negro too!) for your co-workers to see. They might laugh so hard that you’ll get a promotion!!
“That ol’ Bubba..he’s a good ol fellur..he tells the best n’ger jokes this side of the Mississippi!!”
But I must warn some of you folks who are itching to re-enact the black guy in the tuxedo. There are some people (especially big muscular black men) who won’t find this funny at all and if they see you stick out your lips and buck your eyes and mimic a black ‘stereotype’, then be warned that they very well might enact an ‘angry black man’ stereotype of their own. Because although some of us work in a ‘real’ environment, you never know who might find this joke offensive. It’s funny how the world works like that. black people can tell n’ga jokes and laugh but white people are called prejudiced if they say the same thing…hmph...weird.
If you find yourself laughing out loud as you read this scenario, then surprise!! You’re an undercover brother too!! And if there’s anyone in your office (white, black, Hispanic, female,etc) group that you want to find out if they’re just ‘acting’ all formal and proper or if they’re REALLY an undercover brother? Send this link to them or print out a copy of it and observe them as they read this post. If they start laughing?..you already know!
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