TMI (Too much information) is a common acronym that gets thrown around in the subversive ‘cool’ population of society. For some reason or another, there are a significant number of people walking the streets that feel as if they need to tell ALL of their personal information to anyone who will listen. Complete strangers standing in line at the grocery store, or sitting next to you in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, sometimes feel it is their duty to inform others of all the delicate details in their life. In a way, it’s a good thing, because for some it’s their only venue to ‘scream’ and let out any pent up issues or worries that they might have. Others use it as a gesture of trust and friendship with the hopes of opening communication lines and making the information exchange a dialogue.
Strangers:
Hi there..how are you doing?
Fine.
(looking in the other person’s grocery basket) Hmm..beer, wine, steaks..looks like you guys are about to have some kind of party! (smiling)
Yeah..I guess you could say that.
Man..I wish I could still party like that. I’ve been a recovering alcoholic for 3 years now, my last ‘binge’ was so bad I ended up in the hospital after another blackout. and now my digestive system is so jacked up from all the drinking, that it’s a joy for me just to have a good bowel movement once a week. I sure do miss those steaks!
Uhh..o-kay.
This is the type of TMI situation that can leave you a bit speechless and maybe even uncomfortable. There are a lot of people who have been in ‘group’ therapy that have completely lost their sense of privacy concerning personal matters. They are completely immune to any feelings of embarrassment and they’re eager to bring all those around them into their unguarded world of ‘openness’. If it’s a condition that you can ‘feel’, then maybe you can banter back and forth with similar ‘issues’ of your own. But everyone should be warned when dealing with complete strangers in the general public, you never know what’s REALLY going on with them. So the standard rule with dealing with the general public should be to share as little personal information as possible.
Neighbors
Hey there Fred!
Heyy Ralph..I didn’t know you guys were already back home?
Yeah, the Mrs. and me just got back from our vacation.
Great! I’ve got your newspapers and mail for you..let me go get them. (going into the garage and retrieving a box with a week’s worth of newspapers and mail) Here you go.
Thanks.
How was the trip?
Oh, we had a BLAST!! We went to one of those nude beaches down in the Caribbean. every night everybody in the whole resort just got WASTED and we all just danced together and did the ‘group’ thing.
Uhhh…’Group’ thing??
(smiling) Yeah..you know..swingers.
(confused) Swingers? You mean like swing dancing?
No..I mean like swapping wives. You and your wife should come with us next year!
Uhh..nawww..I uhh..don’t think my wife would be too interested in that.
You’d be surprised..the Jenkins across the street and the Thompson’s that live behind us said the same thing..but once you get down on that island..in a tropical environment with a lot of drinks? Your wife will be willing to do things you never imagined! We used to have a ‘swingers’ club for the neighborhood. but the people who used to live in your house got into some kind of trouble with the FBI for some 'freaky' pictures they took that somehow made their way into their child’s middle school.
What?!?
Yeah man, they were freak couple #1!! They were the ones who introduced US to this resort!!
Well. here’s your mail Ralph. I’ve got to go.
Okay. make sure you tell that beautiful wife of yours I said hello!
Neighbors can be a tricky dilemma when dealing with TMI. Since they’re people that know where you live, there has to be a balance point between being ‘neighborly’ and not letting them in on all of your private business. Now when private information is shared that makes you realize that they’re on a completely different level of morality/awareness, then that’s when fences come into the picture. Anyone who feels that their personal space is being intruded upon has the right to just say, ‘Whoaa. Back up’.
New relationships are probably the trickiest grounds to maneuver when balancing exchange of information. Ideally you want to be as honest and open as possible, to build the foundation for a strong relationship. But some people have various ‘history and issues’ that they’re hesitant to divulge too quickly, in fear of ‘scaring them away’ before the relationship really starts.
Wow..this is exciting, I’ve never been to a professional football game before!
Yeah..I LOVE football..I hope you don’t think its too much of a ‘man’ date?
Not at all..I like football a lot too..I’ve just never actually BEEN to a game before!
Good..I know this is only our 2nd date, but I just wanted to do something different than the standard ‘dinner-movie’ thing.
Good job! You get brownie points for this!
I’ll go get us some drinks.
Okay, I’ll have a white wine..and do you know where the bathroom is?
Sure..its right around that corner..
Okay..I’ll be right back.
(while he’s waiting in line for the drinks, several guys walk up behind him and start talking)
Dude! Did you guys see that chick that just went to the bathroom??
Yeah! She’s hot!
Man..I SWEAR that’s the stripper that did Tank’s bachelor party!!
You know..I KNEW I recognized her from somewhere!!
Now at this point, it doesn’t matter if it’s a mistaken identity or not, most guys will feel a sense of urgency to KNOW what the deal is. The reality about historical information is that its in the past and there’s nothing anyone can do to change it. The task is to discern what’s really in the past from what’s really just being covered up for ‘appearances’ and just waiting to avail itself again. No one wants to sit down and reveal all of their past actions/mistakes on the 1st date, but there is a decorum of honesty that is required for a ‘real’ relationship. Some people NEVER want to discuss their past due to the painful memories that they’re trying to leave behind. Some people get stuck dwelling on the past and can never move on to a new day. No matter the position on the information spectrum, whenever lies and half-truths are used to ‘cover-up’ things, that’s when the line is crossed. Usually, it’s always safest to just say as little as possible and just listen.
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