Thursday, March 24, 2005

I'm a Lot Like Shrek


Sometimes I almost feel like I want to apologize to everybody. I wish I could be a more ‘normal’ blogger. Checking in with a new post everyday, sometimes several times a day, posting up to date minutes of circumstances along my daily routine..



It snowed today, I don’t like it when it snows, it makes my toes feel cold.



And all that ol kinda ‘Thoughts in my head’, Sex In the City, N’ga Wonder Years type stuff. Well, actually I guess servinemup IS kinda like that..the only thing is that there is no regular time or place on when to come check it out. Hell, even I don’t know when the next post is coming up and I’m the one who WRITES this stuff. You see, the problem is, I’ve always been pretty weird. Even as a child growing up, there was rarely a normal or average day with me. No sir…I was always good for the spectacular, like the time I came home from school with only one shoe on….




What the---?? Boy?!! Where is your other shoe???!!!



I shrugged my shoulders and tried to look as pitiful as I could as I gazed down at the floor hoping and praying that an earthquake or some major catastrophe would happen to get this heat off of ME!!



I don’t understand what that means!! OPEN YO MOUF!! Where is your other shoe??!!



I don’t know mama.



It was true too..I REALLY didn’t know where my other shoe was or what had happened to it. All I knew was that I went to school with 2 shoes and a pair of socks on, and by the time the afternoon came around, I still had on the pair of socks, but somehow I only had on one shoe. Go figure! I mean, who can REALLY tell what happens with these things??? Of course my mom and then my dad gave me the blues about how utterly ridiculous it was for a 9 year old boy to be coming home with only one shoe on and not being able to explain what happened..okay, you can stop laughing, that story isn’t COMPLETELY true..I ‘gonzoed’ it a bit, but it sure makes for a funny story written that way don’t it?? Of course, my parents and my sister are probably shaking their head going, ‘There he go, trying to be slick AGAIN..cuz he was really 12 when that happened!!”..Well, if ya’ll think ya’ll know so much more about the ‘exact’ historical events and timeline, then get you a blog and start writing something for it everyday, maybe call it the ‘Behind the Scenes w/Servinemup’ or maybe make it like a reality show or something.



Nahh..they ain’t ready for that from OUR family yet, cuz if they THINK Tyler Perry’s Madea is off the hook, then when they meet Miss Gladys, they’re going to really feel what off tha CHAIN really means!! Everybody that knows my grandmother or Miss Gladys as so many people call her, know that I ain’t even exaggerating, cuz I’ll tell ya’ll right now..Michael Jackson could step on Miss Glady’s porch today, and she’d let him have it…





Michael? Are you REALLY Michael Jackson?



Yes ma’am..eh-HEE-HEE-HEE!!



Now holeup now! Don’t start ALL that screaming and hollering junk on my porch, cuz you’ll give me the headache with all that and I’ll have to get me some BC powders.So just sit down somewhere and let’s have us a good talk. You been doing alright?



Yes ma’am..I’m doing okay.



You don’t be looking like you doing okay everytime I see you on TV and they talking about you done touched another one of them lil boys. Youse a grown man..you ain’t got no bizness laying up there in bed with no lil boys..or lil girls!! You need to find you a nice good woman with Christ in her heart and ya’ll have a nice family together.



I’ve already been married Miss Gladys.



You have?? Oh that’s right!! You married one of Elvis Pressley’s girls!! I remember that..you shole did!! If you love her, ya’ll should try and make the family work, but if you go leave it alone, then you just need to gone and get yo divoce and move on and ask God to forgive ya..cuz Jesus will. You just can’t be one of them people that get’s a whole bunch of divorces over and over..that’s what’s called being an unrepentant sinner right there..that’s in the Bible..shole is…shole is..heh-heh..Michael Jackson..imagine that..I got Michael Jackson on my poich right here and you just a lil cute nice something..why you do that stuff to your face tho? You was such a handsome lil boy with that cute lil brown wide nose..yo nose was so wide I could drive a Cadillac through there and not touch nairn side!! (laughing) I’m just playing wit ya Michael..but I’m serious tho’..you need to learn to love yo self for the person that God made you to be..stop trying to change your hair or change you face or change yo skin to look more like them white folks. Don’t you know them white folks don’t care nuthin about you?? All they want is yo money. That’s why you need to put yo trust in the Lawd with ALL of yo heart, lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge HIM..you know who ‘HE’ is don’tcha?? I said do you know MY Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ??



Yes ma’am.



Good..(ha-haa) I’m shole glad to hear that..that means we brothers and sisters together in Christ.,we may be spiritual brothers and sisters, but if I wasn’t married, then I’d marry you Michael..I’d take care of you, cook you some supper and keep yo clothes washed and ironed and looking nice…(heh-heh)..but you got to bring ME the money tho!!! Put my hands on that check!! Holeup! I know you like me and everything Michael, but I don’t allow people to kiss me on my cheek, cuz I don’t know where yo lips been. Here..you can kiss me on my hand tho…

____________



Okay..see I completely made that up!! Michael Jackson ain’t NEVA been on my grandmother (Miss Glady’s) porch..at least, not that I know of. But the point is that when I come to servinemup, I like to serve up some good soul food. Maybe it will be a laugh, or a word of encouragement, maybe some interesting or helpful information to help you tighten up your ‘game’. But now matter what it is you get from reading the offings of D.E. Washington, I’m just glad you’re here kinfolk. Cuz right here is when you can see me work on my hands. I’m in training ya’ll..or as they say in pit language, I’m in my ‘keep’. So when you see me step out, I’m stepping out with the intent of working out my skills for the public and letting ya’ll know that I’m another Southern brother that can write a lil bit. And I’m trying to make it to heaven ya’ll. So if you’ve never considered your salvation..and where your soul will rest when you take that last breath, then keep riding with D. Wash and I’ll make sure you know everything I know about what that good Book says about eschatology (last things). Because as many people who may discredit or dismiss the ‘Jesus’ content of my writing, the dividing line of faith is what happened on Resurrection Sunday..what most of the world refers to as Easter Sunday now.


For those who didn’t know, we are currently in the midst of Passion week. Starting with last Sunday (Palm Sunday), which began with the Messiah’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem riding on a colt (Matt. 21:1-17, Mark 11:1-11, Like 19:29-44, John 12:12-19), as prophesied by the prophet Zechariah over 500 years before (Zech 9:9). In just that short week, Jesus went from arriving into town praised as a King, to being betrayed, arrested, scourged, crucified..and ya’ll know what happened next right? There’s 3 Biblical accounts of people being raised from the dead, Lazarus (John 11:1-44), Jairus’ daughter (Luke 8:40-56) and the widow’s son in Nain (Luke 7:11-16). Some people may think it should be 4 if you include Jesus, but you see, Jesus wasn’t just ‘raised from the dead’, He was resurrected. When a person is raised from the dead, the implied result is that that person will die again another day. But when a person is resurrected, death is conquered never to have power again.



That’s the cornerstone of the Christian faith, because if Jesus wasn’t really resurrected and He didn’t really arise from that grave with the keys to death in His hand..then all that I believe and expound is pretty much worthless. True Believers worship Christ because of His deity, He is more than worthy to be worshipped and praised. But if the resurrection was a ‘hoax’ or some kind of ‘okey doke’ move that the disciples pulled off and then started spreading the Word through the Gospels and Epistles about a fictitious event? Then the jokes on D..cuz I would be a d’mn fool along with millions of other Believers in Christ today and throughout history.


And to be all the way real with ya’ll..I haven’t always been a Believer. There was a time in my life where I kept Christ and all His claims of being God at arms length. But once that Spirit pricks your heart and you start studying the Scriptures, starting back with the Law and the Prophets, through the testimony of the full Gospel..then your faith and conviction will start growing stronger and stronger. It’s definitely a leap of faith to make, especially in this day of age of ‘bait and switch’ moves, the world has it’s way of making us all feel like a doubting Thomas. But once you get that conviction in your heart, you make that leap of faith with a full jump of confidence. Just like Neo in the Matrix, few people make it over on that first jump..but as you keep living and keep experiencing life as we know it. Going through pains and the passing of loved ones, then your eyes start focusing more on what’s real and you’ll start leaving that bullsh’t to the side and you'll get down in the pit and be the Gladiator that the Lord always meant for you to be.



So once I finally made it to the side of Believers, I was just so happy to be there that I clung to my new found joy like a treasured prize that I really didn’t even want to share with anybody..I wanted to keep it all to myself and revel in my personal walk with the Lord. Kinda like how Shrek preferred to stay to himself, in his own world, doing his own thang without having to be bothered by all the ‘weird’ folks in the world. But as that Light continues to shine in your heart, the glow it let’s out will continue to grow and pretty soon it will be too glaring to keep to yourself. Or as Shrek always says, ‘Better out than in!” When you have that conviction, you won’t be able to keep it to yourself, you’re going to have to tell somebody about it. God doesn’t want to change who you are, He just wants to change who you serve.



I actually would probably have a lot larger audience here at servinemup.com if I had stayed silent about my faith in Christ. Keep it as general as possible and don’t start talking that ‘Jesus is God’ madness..that’s what got Christ in trouble in the first place!! But the weird thing is, is that once you truly believe, you won’t be able to keep it to yourself. The Lord wants to use our testimony to strengthen other Believers along their walk and to ultimately draw in more souls who didn’t have anyone to minister to them about the amazing Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. The late Rev. Paul Jones used to sing this song called ‘Don’t want no rocks’, who’s main chorus went..



If I don’t, Praise the Lord

The rocks are.going to cry out

I don’t want..I don’t want no rocks

No rocks crying.. out in my place.

Halleluia. Praise the Lord.




That song comes from what Jesus told the Pharisees who wanted Jesus to stop the people who were singing Him praises in the name of the Lord as He entered into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday (Luke 19:28-44).



And some of the Pharisees called to Him from the crowd, “Teacher, rebuke Your disciples. But He answered and said to them, “I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out.” – Luke 19:39-40



I don’t want no rocks or stones crying out in my place ya’ll..I gotta tell somebody that Jesus lives, that’s why you’re reading what you’re reading right now. Jesus is the Vine and once you become a branch of the Vine, then your ultimate goal is to bear fruit. Now some folks are doing good enough just to be a branch of the vine that bears no fruit. But that isn’t what Jesus meant for His disciples to do. He wants all Believers to be good and faithful servants. Whatever it is you do..whether it’s write, teach, preach, sing, dance..when you do it to uplift His name, that’s when you become a real player in the game. And when I consider my walk in life, from Sugar Valley in the Southside of Houston, Texas, to Jelly Roll Street in Calion, Arkansas, to Booker T. Washington High School over in Studewood (Mike Jones!) on that Noufside, to my family of Bruhs at Stanford University, to my fraternity of golfers around the world, to my life now as a husband and father and devout Believer..well it became plain to me awhile ago that God made me to be a major player. I can talk to a lot of different people of different social and economic backgrounds and make em feel me. Cuz it’s just like my boy Shrek always says, “It’s better out than in!!”


Ya’ll hold tight and make sure you come back soon so we can get down about Resurrection Sunday and why we celebrate it on the date that we do and also why all that Easter bunny, Easter eggs, Easter baskets, etc. is a bunch of bullsh’t that ain’t got NUTHIN to do with the Bible! Real Believers rise up! This Sunday is the most important day in the history of mankind, it’s where the rubber meets the road ya’ll…the gospel of Christ is better out than in...you betta tell somebody!!!



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