Monday, January 07, 2008

The Dying Family



As I was driving her to school this morning, my daughter asked me if I had made any New Year’s resolutions.

I told her no.

“New Year’s resolutions never made any sense to me. If people want to change something about themselves, why wait until January 1st ?? Do it right away!”

Of course, that’s not to say that I don’t have some things that I can improve upon.

Tidiness. Punctuality. Punctuation. Grammar. Sentence structure.

There are definitely a lot of areas for me to tighten up my game.

But at the same time, I thank God for giving me a passion and a purpose.

I like to write.

I like to read.

I like to study the predicament of the human soul.

I love to study God’s Word.

It’s not just a passing fancy for me.

I don’t see Jesus Christ as a genie in the lamp for me to rub on when I need Him and keep tucked away in a back closet when I want to do MY thang.

Instead, I take the words from Joshua’s and the Psalmist pen to heart.

Jos 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

Psa 1:1-2 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

These words mean even more to me, now that I’m a husband and a father. This past Sunday our church had an installation ceremony for all of the new and re-elected ministry leaders. As my wife and I stood together before the congregation, along with all the other ministry leaders who took the pledge and prayer for the New Year, I made sure to grab her hand as we recited the pledge and prayed together.

I know it’s a blessing to be happily married and living under the covenant of Christ. Everybody ain’t got it like that.

In fact, in the neighborhood that we live and attend church, the family structure of a husband, wife and kids is quickly becoming an extinct species.

Drug abuse. Children born out of wedlock. Divorce. Adultery. Deadbeat parents and a plethora of other ‘issues’ are plaguing our community.

As much as I would love to thump on my chest and tout how strong MY family is..I know I can’t take any of the credit. Because the bond that fuses my family together is a lot stronger than anything I could have done on my own.

A lot of people look at my wife and me and assume that everything came so easy for us. Little do they know that our marriage was in no means a fairy tale beginning. Like Mahalia Jackson used to sing, we came up on the rough side of the mountain.


If anything, our marriage is a testament to what can happen when you make Christ the head of your life and your marriage.


I know there are a lot of marriages that are teetering on the brink of destruction. Most of the questions and inquiries about God and the Bible that I get from men always seem to center around the common complaint, “My wife ain’t submitting to me!!


I don’t try to get into anybody’s business, but if they ask me, I tell them. “Have you submitted yourself to Christ?”


Just like the military, there’s a God ordained structure or a ‘chain of command’ that must line up in order to operate in harmony.


My prayer for the New Year is for all the families that are struggling to make it. More specifically, my prayer is for all the men to stand up and assume their position and duty in God’s plan for the family. Loving your wives. Not provoking your children to anger. Being the king and priest of your household like God meant for you to be.


Because when the man doesn’t stand up and assume his role, that leaves a lot more responsibility and burden on the woman. And there are some strong and devout women with the courage and faith to make it work, but it’s not the way God intended for it to be.


Marriage is an exercise of patience and perseverance. In a lot of ways, you’ve got to sacrifice your own personal desires for the good of the group. Marriage definitely ain’t for everybody, especially selfish people.


But the joys you get from persevering and ‘making it’, can make all the hardships and struggle that you went through more than worthwhile.


Happy New Year everybody! Get some Word in your life in 2008!!