Naturally Crunk

I guess I’m what you could call a naturally crunk individual. It didn’t just start when I picked up my pen, I’ve been like this my whole life. Whenever somebody looked like they were laughing and having fun? I had to jump in and compete.

“Ya’ll n’gaz ain’t go have mo fun than ME!!”

That was the mantra that I lived by. Actually, I guess you can say that I still live by this code. Only I changed my game up a bit and got as real as you can get. Anybody can flirt along the lines of damn foolery, but once you get a natural n’ga who knows how to ‘ack a fool!!’ but has enough sense to anchor his soul in the Lord and put God first in his life?

Ooooweee mane.

I almost feel sorry for all ya’ll fake n’gaz out there. Ya’ll ain’t go like D.

Someone asked me the other day what kind of writer did I aspire to be..

“Huh?”

“You heard me, what kind of books are you gonna write? Is it gonna be fiction or non-fiction?”

“I don’t think either category could fittingly describe my style.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t think you could put my work in the fiction or the non-fiction section, you’d just have to label it under ‘real’.”

“There is no such thing as a ‘real’ section of a bookstore!!”

“I plan on changing that.”

Of course, some may think I’m being obnoxious by making such a claim, but I’m sorry if that offends you. My family always taught me to speak up and never be afraid to stand up for what I believe in, even around them white folks. This childhood training fell right in line when it came time for me to cross over into the land of Believers.

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ; for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first and also to the Greek” – Romans 1:16 KJV

I know I’m not the only n’ga writing in the world that believes in Jesus. But even if I was the only one, that’s just how it would have to be, cuz I ain’t go quit praising His Name for nobody.

So like I was saying, I’m a naturally crunk individual and I’m real, so it throws a lot of people off a bit. They’re not used to being around people like me. So as they stop and gawk and stare, they have the natural urge to poke and prod and see if they can spot the fraud. Cuz a n’ga just can’t be THIS real..can he??

Hmm..D.E. Washington, Southside Christian Writer? I bet that n’ga ain’t even really from the Southside, he probably from Pearland or something.

Naww n’ga..you missed. I’m from Sugarvalley Texas. And if you don’t know where that is, then you probably ain’t never spent much time in Sunnyside.

Ohh.okay, so he IS from the hood. He was probably one of them nerd n’gaz who was too scaid to come outside and play in the streets with all the real n’gaz.

Nope. Missed me again. Sugarvalley is a hood full of players. N’gaz that have Division 1 game, the main problem we had was keeping n’gaz out of jail. Sugarvalley has a high rate of convicted felons, n’gaz with strikes on their back. Not all of the dudes that grew up in Sugarvalley were felons, but we had more than our fair share. But I really ain’t tripping on that either, because we already could tell a lot of the n’gaz that were going to wind up in jail even back when we were kids playing on the street. Some n’gaz were aggravated even as kids, before they ended up catching an aggravated assault case as adults. When it came to game, I was never the biggest, fastest, strongest or quickest. With the n’gaz I grew up with in Sugarvalley, I was usually matched against a n’ga who had a LOT more athletic ability than I did. Them n’gaz made me play up. Because if I didn’t hustle and be about my game, I was going to be dominated. And n’gaz who get dominated don’t get picked when it’s time to select a squad. It ain’t fun being that last n’ga of the lot..

Ya’ll take D on yo team!!

Hell naw!! I don’t want that lil n’ga on my team!! Ya’ll take em!!

Nun-uh!! We don’t want him either!!

Sitting on the curb watching all the big kids play ain’t a lot of fun. It will make you work on your game. The main edge I had to work with was my brain, quick wit and my hustle. I had to out think them n’gaz and out work them. If you know a n’ga can jump out the gym and dunk from the free throw line, you better make sure you don’t give him a clear path to the basket, or else get ready to get clowned. I ain’t gotta front, I HAVE been dunked on before. But if you ask any n’ga from Sugarvalley about D.E. Washington’s game, they’re gonna tell you that I’m the kind of n’ga you want on your team.

"You NEED me on that wall!!" – Jack Nicholson, A Few Good Men

N’gaz can’t leave me open, cuz I can knock down jumpers all day. I’ve hit gamewinners while hooping for money all the way out in Studewood. My game is real. And the realest part about it, is that I’ve never felt like I had to be the star. I don’t care if I don’t hit nairn point in the game. As long as my man didn’t get any easy buckets and my team wins? It’s all good to me. I just wanna win.

Then you go from the street level of sports and hooping to the parks and gyms all around Houston, wherever there’s a good game and they’ll tell you the same. Me and my podna from Crestmont Park over at http://www.edpce.com/ have been in literally thousands of games together, in almost every park around H-town and we always had respect from the other players by the time we left the court. A lot of people underestimated us because of our size. They thought we were too small to make any real noise.

But by the time the games were on, they realized that we played hard for 94 feet up the court. We played defense, offensively. We’re not only trying to stop you, we’re trying to take the ball from you and go the other way. We could hunt as good as velociraptors. It used to make a lot of n’gaz mad, because they were used to getting open jumpers or easy layups. You couldn’t do that with us. I’ll grab a n’ga and put him in a bear hug before I’ll just ‘give’ him an open lane to the basket. You gotta be careful hooping on the Southside tho. We were hooping in 3rd Ward one time and this one dude wearing blue jeans was giving my podna a FIT!! It got so bad, that as we were going back up the court after a made basket, I looked at him and asked him what’s up?

“You can’t hold that n’ga??”

He looked back at me and just shrugged his shoulders..

“Mane..that n’ga got a gun in his pocket and he keep leaning into me to make sure I feel it. He trying to start something.”

“Oh…well…you better let that n’ga make it.”

“Shii..who you telling? That n’ga can hit 50 if he want, I just know I’m going home without getting shot!!”

I’ve put in my work on the Southside streets, I ain’t gotta front to kick it, n’gaz already know how real my game is. And it doesn’t stop with basketball, I played sandlot football, baseball, and for over 10 years now, I’ve been IN to the golf game. It’s the Game for a Lifetime, ya know?


So I guess I’m a rare breed. It’s not a lot of n’gaz from the hood that like to read and write, play golf and don’t have any gold teeth, felony convictions or tattoos. I ain’t never even owned a pair of Jordan’s in my life. I’m telling ya, I’m a strange n’ga. The closest I’ve come to having a grill was when I had those stainless steel braces on my teeth. (thanks mom & dad!)

So when it comes to uplifting the name of God and spreading the Word about the goodness of Christ, I throw a lot of people off, because they thought it wasn’t when it was. Just because the Spirit has pricked my heart and I’ve submitted myself to God’s will doesn’t mean that I’m ‘miraculously’ changed into a whole different person.

God didn’t change who I was, He just changed who I served.

I’m sorry if I offend some folks. It’s a lot of people who get it twisted and think I’m supposed to be their preacher and and http://www.servinemup.com/ is supposed to be like church. I realize that I write about some real things about what thus saith the Lord, but I also write about some real things in life, past and present. So I do have curse words and allusions and references to an ‘unsaved’ lifestyle, such as drinking til I was drunk, chasing women or smoking up a pound.

I think too many ‘church’ folks make people who aren’t IN the church feel uncomfortable by pointing fingers and being judgemental. Don’t none of us have a heaven or a hell to put anybody into. All Christians have a past and all sinners have a future.

If not for anything else, I know my work is helping others along their way toward growing stronger in the Lord, because reading D. Washington let’s them know that Jesus does save throwed off naturally crunk n’gaz too. It’s God will that we ALL be saved.

“Who desires to have all men be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.” – I Timothy 2:4

The problem is that some ng’az are just so throwed and hard headed, that they don’t want to listen to nobody. They don’t go to church, they won’t study their Bibles, they won’t listen to anybody who starts ‘preaching’ to them. But then they may happen to stumble across a naturally crunk brother like me and they have to pause and cock their head to the side.

“That n’ga looks like he’s having FUN!! Does Jesus allow Christians to have fun?? I thought being a Christian meant living a boring lifestyle??”

Nawww mane..ya’ll n’gaz got it twisted. Once you have Christ in your heart, you’re finally FREE!!! It’s like I said before, ya’ll n’gaz ain’t go have mo fun than me!!

Still Dreamin

In 1968 this guy was going through a divorce and dealing with other life issues, so he decided to do something nice for himself, to make himself feel good. So he scraped up almost every penny from every asset he had and spent $6,000 on a brand new metallic blue Mustang.

He spent so much of his resources on the car, that he didn’t even have enough left to buy car insurance. 2 months later, the car was stolen on January 22, 1969. And here it is this past week, in 2006, that the car was pulled by customs. It seems some guy had sold it to a collector over in Sweden, and the VIN# came up as a stolen vehicle during a customs check.

When they located the original owner and told him his vehicle had been recovered, he had a word about what the experience taught him,

“It made me believe you can't fall in love with things.”

Ahhh, now THAT’S the lick!!

This is the time of year when we’re all supposed to hold hands and sing kumbayah after we listen to the last 5 minutes of Martin Luther King’s, “I Have A Dream” speech.

“When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

I guess I just find it kinda ironic the length we go to to have parades and banquets, commemorating the marvelous work that Dr. King did while he was on this earth, but yet so little energy is being put into making that dream he envisioned a reality.

Some folks are kinda mad about it, because they never wanted little black boys and little white girls to be holding hands in the first place and they DEFINTITELY don’t want them getting married! This preference for segregationalism isn’t just from white folks either, it’s a lot of black folks who ‘don’t like race mixin round these parts!’, especially when it comes to their own children.

Racism is still very prevalent and very real here in America. Tavis Smiley has even suggested that it’s our biggest problem even today. But I tend to disagree. I actually think the #1 problem we have in our black communities here in America, is the idolization of things.

People submit their lives and souls to attaining things. Gotta have as big of a house as I can almost afford. Gotta have as nice a car as I can get. Gotta have those clothes, shoes, jewelery and the biggest screen they have available. Gotta have it, cuz I like having things.

Families went from the Cleaver’s, with Ward working and June staying home and keeping the house looking FRESH, to the Huxtables, with both Claire and Cliff working and contributing around the house and now we’re to the point were a lot of families (the one’s that DO have two adults under the same roof) have the woman working and the dude just sitting around the house chilling and playing video games. They’re not necessarily married, more folks are just shacking up or ‘playing’ house.

But yet there is still this love of ‘things’. Status. Respect. Juice.

People go all out to have it. I’ll go into debt, I don’t care, I’ve GOT to be a part of this sorority. It’s an investment. I gotta have that brand new 1200 ccc triple titanium driver!! I don’t care if it’s going to put me over my limit on my credit card, I gotta have the top equipment in the game! It’s an investment!!

Before long you have people working all the overtime they can and even hustling cool cups or selling candy in the hood, just to afford the minimum payments for all these ‘things’ that they gotta have.

Of course, we know that Dr. King was a dapper dresser himself. It ain’t nothing wrong with looking good while you do what you do. But the question comes up, how much of what you do is based on your desire to acquire more things?

Prosperity preachers are prevalent in the hood. Because they know Black folks want to hear about how God is going to break them off a blessing. Our ears itch to hear that. Don’t nobody want to hear about no fire and brimstone, let’s talk about getting paid like Jabez!!

As a people, we have lost focus. We went from being people that helped each other make it along in life, to being people that don’t even speak to each other when we pass by on the street. We went from people praying for each other, to people hating on each other.

We LIKE to see Whitney & Bobby looking throwed off and cracked out, because it makes us feel better about ourselves. “At least I’m not throwed off like THAT n’ga!!!”

So at some point we need to hold up our hand like Neo when those bullets were bearing down on him and we just need to say, ‘No.’ I’m not going togive in to this ocean of hate and prejudice. I’m going to stand up for love. I’m going to fight for peace.

And there’s a lot of different places that people seek their strength to hold on. Some get involved in chanting, burning candles and ritual meditations. Others join one of those granola groups that worship the mother Earth. But I know that all those methods will not withstand the fire. If you really want to be real and dig deep into that everlasting fountain of life and love, then you have to focus on Jesus.

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help? My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth” – Psalms 121:1-2 KJV

People praise his activities to promote peace, but let us not forget the source of this love and peace that Dr. King had. Dr. King was a Christian, a man who stood up and proclaimed the gospel of Christ. A soldier for the Lord.

Some may decry his extra-marital affairs caught on tape by the FBI and others may point out the charges of plagiarism that have been brought against some of his writings. It is a higher standard of responsibility that the proclaiming Believer must adhere to, because the streets are definitely watching.

Who knows..maybe God would have allowed Dr. King to live longer if he would have assumed a more diligently obedient walk? Maybe God will let us live longer if we adhere to a more obedient walk? It’s not something for us to determine. Man does not own heaven or hell, and we have no control over who goes where. God is the judge of us all.

But one thing for certain, is that neither Dr. King or our Lord Jesus Christ would be pleased to see the state of apathy, hatred and inactivity that our community is mired in today. Either we’re cursing somebody out on the freeway or we’re rolling our eyes and not answering the phone when we know it’s someone in need on the other end.

“I don’t give a f*$k about them! I got my own issues to deal with!!”

Our kids are spending more and more time in daycare and after-hours care, because we’re having to work longer hours at work, striving to get these ‘things’. More time spent with someone who is paid to watch them, versus time spent with someone who loves them.

Dr. King had a dream, but here we are over two-score years later and I really don’t think we’re any closer to living this dream. We’ve lost focus. We’ve gone astray. We’ve put our trust into ‘things’ such as financial portfolios, instead of placing our trust in the Lord.

Dr. King wouldn’t be sitting back chilling and eating bar-b-que on his birthday if he was alive today. He’d be out hustling for the cause, because a lot of those same conditions of the American Negro that he spoke of in that speech in 1963, are still prevalent today. That check hasn’t cleared yet. There are those who have broken free from the rest of the crabs in the bucket, black folks who have gotten educated and gone on to have some things in life that they can pass along to their children and grandchildren. But so few of the ones who do gain financial freedom reach back to help others in need. People with money tend to hang around other people with money.

We may not have as many empty bellies in America, but if you’re pouring grease, sugar and salt down your children’s throat everyday, they might have been better off not eating, when you consider the toll the fast food diet is taking on their heart, liver and kidneys.

Some may ask..”I’m not an activist! I’m just a regular guy who goes to work everyday. What can I do to move closer to the dream??”

Make the effort to get out and help someone in need. Not just someone with your name or your blood in their veins. Charity may begin at home, but it definitely shouldn’t end there.

Join a worship community that has community service activities and programs.

Get involved in helping promote the cause of love, peace and forgiveness.

Stop hanging around player haters

Dedicate more of your time to Bible study.

Stop being ruled by ‘things’



“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, lose his own soul?” – Mark 8:36 KJV

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Servinemup Ink * All Rights Reserved

Copyright © 2003-2006

“If you ain’t servin Him, then you don’t know what’s up!”

Recognizing Janky

My premise is that every n’ga has the opportunity to pick up a Bible and read it for 15 minutes a day. There’s Bibles everywhere we go, in our homes, at our parents and grandparents’ houses, libraries, bookstores, churches, hotels, the Word is all around us here in America.


The Bible is readily available, but yet, few people are reading it. Some people may have a ‘kinda general’ good idea of who Jesus is and what the Bible says about Him, but they don’t really know. They can be hoodwinked and bamboozled and led astray by any slick n’ga with some game The, Reverend I.B. Janky’s of the world, if you will.

Some may think Rev. Daddy Rich from Car Wash is a funny dude, but what you don’t realize is that jankiness is very much real and very much alive throughout our churches today. There’s a LOT of folks that’s following somebody who’s completely janky.



Let’s examine that word..janky.



Rhymes with cranky, but it kinda sounds like junky.



Fred Sanford was janky. Anytime you see a n’ga living in a junkyard that’s always just sitting around on his az?? Then chances are he’s trying to get over on everybody he comes in contact with. Janky n’gaz are always trying to stick somebody else with the check.

Earlier in my life, I would have made the erroneous presumption that most janky n’gaz are lazy, but I’ve found that to be untrue. There’s janky lazy people and there’s also janky hustlers. People out there on the grind trying to get it like no other. They’ll do a lot of business with you and then screw you as much as they can before the authorities and an impartial judge have to come into the relationship on the back end. I’m just saying, it’s janky out here in the world mane.



I’m sure it is this theory of jankiness which fuels the reasoning of most opponents of organized religion. Priest molesting little boys. Preachers taking extra love offerings every week and driving a Rolls Royce in a neighborhood full of old folks on fixed incomes that are struggling to pay for their medication every month. Janky Pastors sleeping with women and/or men who they give marital counseling. In some churches, Marital Counseling should be better described as ‘Come See if You wanna give some up to the Pastor’ hour.



So since most people associate religion with the actual church’s structures of organization; the priests, the pastors, the deacons, there’s much fuel made available for daily consumption by the media to stoke that fire of reasons why you don’t affiliate with any church.



“I don’t go to church because church is all about religion and religion is made by man and you know that man is janky. So I ain’t with it.”



“Well..there ARE a lot of janky preachers and ministers who are preaching some real throwed off doctrines and theologies.”



“Right!! See, they just caught that pastor in Houston on tape talking about going to that club where them lil boys be dancing on tables!!”



“Yeah..but that’s just one that they caught. I’m sure there’s others who go to those places and a lot of others too.”



“So you agree with me!!?”



“No..I didn’t say that. I mean, I USED to be that n’ga that agreed with you. Especially when I found out that going to church every Sunday is NOT a requirement for salvation.”



“It’s not?”



“No..you don’t have to go to church to be saved. That’s in the Bible.”



“It is?? Really? Most of them Bible thumpers be talking about observing the Sabbath and keeping it holy and if you don’t go to church, you’re going straight to hell”



“It’s not a requirement for salvation, but if you truly believe in Christ, you will not forsake the fellowship of other Believers. I am part of a worship community myself, I like it. It’s good to go recharge your batteries regularly and get your praise on.”’



“Recharge your batteries?? Everytime I go to church, it just makes me sleepy.”



“Well, maybe you just haven’t found the worship environment which best feeds you.’



“Feeds me? You talking about serving lunch after church?”



“Naw, I’m talking about feeding your spirit. That’s one of the benefits of praise and worship services, it feeds your spirit. You have the opportunity to fellowship with others who believe in worshipping and praising God.”



“Oh, you mean like one of those non-denominational churches??”



“It could be or it might be a Baptist church or Methodist church..it’s mainly just wherever you know they are a Bible based community. A place where people believe, study and follow the Word of God.”



“Don’t all churches use the Bible?”



“Not all of em..and what’s even worst than that, are the ones who use parts of the Bible but they’re waay off in left field on some of that other ‘drink the Kool-Aid’, Jim Jones type stuff.”



“Well..how are you supposed to know who’s real and who’s janky?”



“You have to develop a personal relationship with the Lord, through prayer and daily worship.”



“Whoaa..’daily’?? I ain’t about to go to church everyday!”



“That’s what I’m trying to tell you..once you TRULY believe in God, you realize that there is an indwelling of the Holy Spirit within you. God is with you always, He’s in your heart. So when you pray and meditate on His Word, it’s your own private church service with the Lord. You HAVE to have that relationship for yourself, more so than just going to a physical building that they call a church every Sunday.”



“But everytime I try to read the Bible, I get kinda confused, I don’t understand all of it.”



“That’s why you need a good Bible teaching environment. A community of faith where you can listen and learn.”



“But how do I know if they’re janky with it or being real?”



“First and foremost, you have to strive to know Jesus for yourself by studying the Bible. Find out who He really is and what He’s really about. Cuz anybody who’s presenting themselves as a man of God, or as a teacher of His Word? And they’re leading someone down a wrong path? Giving them valet service to the depths of hell? Preaching and teaching a false doctrine? Then all those people’s blood who they lead astray will be charged against their soul. God ain’t playing.”



“Well if that’s the case, why would God even allow those janky kinda people to have that position and power??”



“I don’t know. All I know is that all things work together for good for those who love God. To those who are called according to His purpose. And when you love God, you will study that Bible for yourself daily, even if it’s just 10-15 minutes a day reading Proverbs or Psalms. And the more you study, the more God will open your spirit to discernment. Kinda like having those X-ray goggles, you’ll be able to spot a janky n’ga in a minute when your spirit is truly in tune with the Lord and His Word.”



”So I guess it just ain’t no getting around it..I gotta read the Bible for myself.”



“Not just read it, you have to study it. You have to become a student all over again. Humble yourself and learn something from the God of ages. That’s the frame of mind you need to get into when you read your Bible.”



“But most of the time I hear people talking about the Bible and what it says, they’re arguing and talking loud and ready to fight.”



“That right there should let you know that they haven’t bowed down to what that same Bible they’re arguing about says. Because the Bible doesn’t stir up strife, people who KNOW it and follow it know how to speak to others out of love. And if a n’ga just don’t want to hear what you gotta say about Jesus..then you ain’t even supposed to argue about it. Shake that dirt off yo feet and keep stepping. It ain’t no need to argue and fight, Jesus already took care of all that there.”



Soooo, to all ya’ll still riding that, “I’m down with God, but I’m not down with religion” tip? Wazzup? What is you saying? What is your worship service like? Are you spending time with the Word?



Show ya tattoos, show ya tattoos, where yo faith at? It’s in the Word trick!!

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