May 28, 2005

couple of weeks ago, when I went out to my car and realized that someone had broken my back window and stolen my computer bag that had my laptop and my flash memory card in it..it threw me off. As I was sitting there waiting for the police to show up to file a report, all kind of strange things started running through my mind. At first there was anger..I wanted to go riding through the neighborhood looking for the hater(s) that stole my work. I wasn’t worried about the monetary loss at all, my dismay was at all the work that I had put in for my book over the past 6 months that was lost.



The thing that really started baking my noodle, was the question of why God would allow this to happen? He knew that I was putting in work to spread His Word, was this God’s way of telling me my work was wack? I was stumped. Because when you’re on a mission from God, or at least when you THINK you’re on a mission from God, isn’t He supposed to shield you from all hurt, harm and thievery?? Maybe this was God’s way of telling me that I needed to shut up and sit down or that my intentions weren’t coming from the right place??



It is during these times of trials and hardship that we all must seek comfort in Him. And as much as we can be soothed by prayer, meditation and reading God’s Word, it still helps a lot to have a spiritual advisor to lean on for direction and words of encouragement. Fortunately I have a couple of people who are always there for me whenever I have questions or confusion about this particular lifestyle known as the Christian walk. It’s not an easy thing to do ya’ll..you have to pick up that cross and bear it daily. It kind of made me think back to an interview I saw Mel Gibson do right before the release of the Passion of Christ.



In the interview, Mel was describing the experiences they had during the filming of the movie. There was one particular incident where the actor who was one of the body doubles for Jesus was struck by lightening. Just imagining what THAT must’ve felt like made me start tripping. Because I know if I was that body double and I had gotten struck by lightening, I would’ve started thinking, ‘Whoaa. God must doesn’t want me to be doing this..it must be a sign!” But Mel went to talk to the actor and calmed him down, because understandably the guy was pretty shook up. And after things smoothed out a bit, he was able to collect himself and get back out there and finish the job. I had to gain strength from that incidence, because for awhile I was so shook up, I couldn’t even write. I mean, I could write physically, putting words down on the paper, but it wasn’t making any sense, it all seemed like mindless drivel that no one would be able to understand.



But fortunately, I was able to talk to my father and my uncle and a few other people who I know are always out for my best interest and I felt better about it. Because first of all, the Lord isn’t going to come at you wrong, He’s not a thief. So that meant the culprit had to be some random thief or maybe even an agent of the evil one..who knows, but from that realization, I was able to shake off my doubt and get back in that pit with a renewed vigor. When one of my cousins who lives in Atlanta heard about my loss, she was quick to let me know..



“That ain’t nothing but the devil D. He knows that you’re reaching an audience that would otherwise never get IN to the Word, so he’s going to do all he can to stop you.”



At that point it was kinda like the battle line was drawn. God knew what was going to happen, but He let it take place because it was in His will. Maybe this was the bite that I needed to feel to kick into a higher gear? It is times like these when the Word of God is an invaluable strengthening tool of direction and purpose.



And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called, according to His purpose. – Romans 8: 28



So I used the theft incidence as a stepping stone, I had to step my game up to another level. Satan being the hater that he is fighting like a lil ol gal, stealing people homework and stuff. Let me gone and get down and smash on this fool like the soldier that I know God made me to be. The wild thing is, my Distribution Manager, Tommy Curvey, called out all these things waay back when we first shook hands to jump out into this venture known as Servinemup Ink.

“You know D..this is some serious stuff right here. If you go start digging into these n’gaz heads and lifting up that Word through these books..the devil ain’t go like it. We both go have to stay prayed up and get our game tight…cuz he’s definitely going to come at us trying to knock us down.”



“Yeah..I thought about that. But it’s not like I have any other choice, I’m His child, I’ve gotta do what He put on my heart to do. If you don’t want to get caught up in this, then I understand..I’ll get it out there anyway.”



“Oh, I ain’t backing out n’ga, I’m dead game for the Lord too!! I’d rather die in the pit fighting for the Lord, than be one of them scared az spectators on the sideline doing NUTHIN to uplift Jesus’ name. I’m just telling you..don’t sleep, you gotta stay ready, cuz that heat is coming baby, you betta believe that!”



The best part about all of it, is that when you know that God is on your side it doesn’t matter who your opponent is…you’re going to win. Some people assume this means that nothing bad will ever happen to you..but that’s not how it goes. It rains on the just as well as the unjust. No one will ever be able to explain all of the things that happens in this world, but once you know in your heart that you are called according to God’s purpose? Then that’s when you can be reassured that no matter WHAT happens, ALL things work together for good.



Now the other issue that pops up, is when I have to check my intentions. I’m down for uplifting Jesus’ name, but I’m also down for taking care of my family and striving for financial independence. We’re not publishing books to give away for free (at least not yet), we’re trying to turn a profit. So then the question comes up of a conflict of interest. On one hand you’re spreading the Word, but then on the other hand you’re trying to reach as large an audience as possible and make money, so at what point does one motive conflict with the other? I’m sure it’s a question that comes up with anyone in the business world, whether Christian or not. If you’re going to make money in this world, what is the ethical dividing line of content? Would a real Christian own a liquor store? Would a real Christian distribute drugs? Would a real Christian use curse words? Would a real Christian take 'liberties' on his IRS tax returns? Would a real Christian the hookup on cable? That question of intention was gnawing at me, because by no means do I ever want to fall into the trap of being ‘janky’, especially when it comes to something as crucial and vital as God’s Word.



But once again, my spiritual advisor gave me a great litmus test to use when he told me,

“The best thing I can tell you nephew, is that whatever it is you do..after you’ve got through doing it and all is said and done, you need to ask one simple question, ‘Who gets the glory?”..if that answer is not Jesus, then you’re not doing the right thing.”



So now, whenever I sit down to push my pen, I always make sure to recite a prayer from one of David’s Psalms that I actually pray throughout the day:



May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer. – Psalms 19:14



That’s a very valuable prayer to me, cuz I still have some throwed off things that pop into my head from time to time. I can still vividly remember sitting in church service as a child and I’d think to myself, “If Heaven is like being in church..I don’t want to go.” And even as I grew into an adult, I often found myself contemplating if there was a Heaven for thug n’gaz..a stress free life and a place where we could kick it and just have fun. But once the Lord convicted my heart and I started growing in my faith, I turned the corner of praising and worshipping Him and now I feel bad if I don’t go to church. I wake up looking forward to it because it strengthens me.



So..hopefully this is all making sense to ya’ll, I know the mood, tone and direction of servinemup has gone up to another level than when I first started blogging, but that’s just the growth in D. We move from glory to glory. If you’re standing still you’re doing something wrong. Move around mane..move around.

Going Through

"I desire that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; in like manner, also that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. Let a woman learn in silence with submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have any authority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. Nevertheless, she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness with self control."



Uhhhh....what are you talking about??



I’m reading a passage from the Bible..I Timothy 2: 9-15



The Bible?? That doesn’t sound like something from the Bible that sounds like something from some chauvinistic pig!!



(smiling) You think so huh? Well..I’m sure a lot of ‘chauvinistic pigs’ throughout history have recited this same passage a time or two in their lives, as a matter of fact, here’s another one that may sound even wilder..



Let your women keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says, And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church. I Corinthians 14:34-35



Whoaa, whoaaa now! Now I’m down with God and all, but you gotta admit..that’s so blatantly prejudice and biased toward promoting and sustaining male dominance..do you REALLY think God is partial like that??



What do you mean partial?



I mean, do you really think that the Almighty God, the Creator, would make such a biased distinction between men and women??



Well..actually I don’t think God favors one soul over another.



There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for ye ALL are one in Christ Jesus. – Galatians 3:28



Well then if you know that God is impartial, why would you want to believe that passage about women not even being able to speak in church when it obviously contradicts that other Scripture??



Because I believe that the Bible is the complete, inerrant Word of God and I don’t see it as a contradiction at all.



C’mon now!! Don’t just shut off your mind and act like a zombied out clone like so many of those other Bible crazies who have swallowed the Kool-Aid!!! THINK about it!! That doesn’t sound crazy to you??



I dunno…I guess that Scripture about a woman’s role in the church doesn’t ‘bother’ me because first of all..I’m not a woman. So since I don’t have to deal with the repercussions of what that Scripture really means, I’m not tripping about it as much as I would if I was a woman. Does that make sense?



Yeah..that’s real. But you still can’t overlook the fact that it screams of some of that ‘good ol boy- let’s keep the status quo by putting some stuff in the Bible to keep the women down so we can continue our stranglehold over the world’- type overtones.



I can see why you’d say that..but even though I’m not a woman like you, I DO understand that that Scripture goes a lot deeper than just what’s going on inside of a man made building that people refer to as the ‘church’.



Huhh??



When you research that passage in I Timothy as well as the passage in I Corinthians, you have to look at the full context of what was going on at the time. When Paul was writing that first letter to the newly forming church at Corinth, he knew how it was going down in the Greek city of Corinth.



How was it going down?



They had all kind of pagan gods, idol worshippers and the most prominent edifice on the acropolis (high city about 2,000 feet used for defense and worship) was a temple to Aphrodite.



Aphrodite? Aphrodite was the Greek goddess of love.



Hmph..you already know how it was going down then!!. They had these priestesses who were really just ‘religious’ prostitutes that lived in the temple and came down to the city in the evenings to serve it on up to the men and visitors..whoever wanted some.



Well..you know..to each his own.



Yeah..but since they had such a large element of these morally corrupt citizens of Corinth who had joined the church of Christ, Paul knew that a lot of their morally corrupt ways that they had accepted as a society was trying to creep into the church. So instead of making it an issue, he just laid down the law of how it should go.



Yeah..but that was waay back then..it’s not like that today. People who go to church, go to worship God, they ain’t trying to sell their bodies.



Hmph….you must ain’t been to {INSERT YOUR LOCAL CHURCH KNOWN FOR HAVING THE WOMEN IN THE MOST REVEALING CLOTHES NAME HERE]?



No, I haven’t.



I went to that church with my cousin one Sunday and I almost thought I was at a club. I saw the top of so many thongs and so many women walking around with some tight fitting clothes on..I had trouble concentrating on the service.



See..that’s just where YOUR mind is at! If you focus on the Lord and keep yo mind out the gutter, you won’t have to worry about all that.



Well, I don’t know about you..but I don’t go to church to look at women, I go to learn more about the Lord and praise and worship Him. But I’m still a man, and some of these women gotta know that they’re attracting a lot of attention to themselves by the stuff they wear. I really do believe a lot of them are in church with an ulterior motive of ‘catching’ a man.



What’s wrong with dating a man from church?



Nothing..I mean you should want to date a person of your faith..but let’s keep it real now, THAT is not what we go to church for, we go for Him..and God already knows what you look like naked, He ain’t trying to see yo thong during 11 oclock service.



You sound like one of those old school dudes, like my grandfather. He’s all stuck up on that ‘women shouldn’t be in a pulpit’ and ‘women shouldn’t wear pants’ and all that stuff. C’mon now..you gotta get past that archaic and close minded mentality. Women are people too, just like men. We love the Lord and we want to praise His name, and I know some of my BEST Bible teachers have been women! So you can’t tell me that that’s what God says, cuz I don’t believe it. If anything it’s what Paul said and he’s just a man!!



I can understand how you’d feel that way..but have you ever considered it from the deeper perspective of God’s intended purpose for man and woman?



Oh..so now you go jump on the ‘it’s all Eve’s fault cuz she bit the apple first’ bandwagon?



Naw..cuz first of all, the Scripture doesn’t say it was an apple, it just calls it the forbidden fruit..it could a been a kiwi or something.



Whatever it was, all women in history can not be held responsible for what one woman ate thousands of years ago!!! That is some complete BULLSH%T!!!



Do you believe in the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ?



Yes I do!!



Who do you think crucified Jesus?



The Romans crucified Jesus.



Mmmhmm..and who else?



Well..it was the Jewish council that sent Him to be executed.



Okay..Jews, Romans…who else?



What do you mean who else?



I mean, you’re still leaving out a lot of folks who played their equal part in sending Jesus to the cross.



I dunno..I guess all the other people who were part of the decision.



That’s what you’re missing…the crux of Christianity, and the basis of the faith, is that we ALL put Jesus up there on that cross. My hands and your hands are just as bloody as the Romans, the Jews, because it was because of our sin that He did what He did…and don’t ever fool yourself either, He didn’t HAVE to do it, He did it because He loves each and every one of us and He wanted us to have a Way to the Father. Because when you go through the original law, that ‘old school’ Torah, which is the first 5 books of the Bible (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy) you will see that God is a perfect and just God. He is so perfect, that He cannot stand the sight of sin. So whenever any of His children committed a sin, there had to be a blood sacrifice to atone for it. Something had to die, a lamb a goat, SOMEthing. And it couldn’t just be any kind of animal either, it had to be a clean and spotless animal, unblemished. So when you think about a blood sacrifice that atones, or ‘covers up’ our sin, that’s what Jesus is..He’s our Mediator to God. When you confess His name and follow the path that He prescribed for us to follow in the Bible..that’s your covering to go before the Lord. So in that sense..I can’t FEEL ya on worrying about why what one person did thousands of years ago, would affect me today. Cuz I wasn’t Adam, but I have no problem recognizing the fact of original sin. And because of Adam’s transgression, I was born with a sinful nature. Even when I first popped out of my mother’s womb, and I hadn’t even had a thought yet, that sin nature was already inside of me because I’m a son of Adam.



Well..at least you recognize that it wasn’t all Eve’s fault..Adam played a part too.



Adam didn’t just ‘play a part’, Eve might have been the fuse, after Satan had started the spark, but the bomb didn’t drop until Adam disobeyed God and bit the fruit. The final responsibility rested on Adam and Adam alone. Because before that happened, our bodies were made to live forever..we weren’t doomed to a mortal death until sin crept in through disobedience. When you read the 3rd Chapter of Genesis, after it all went down, Satan tempted Eve, Eve ate it, then went and had her husband eat it and after Adam got his eat on, and his eyes were opened. They weren’t even having sex before all that happened. I still have a problem understanding how a man and woman can walk around each other day butt naked and not even THINKING about hooking up,( but that’s just one of my issues that the Lord is working on me with.) So when you read on in the chapter, you’ll see God laying down the punishment for each culprit in the crime. He started with the snake, then He told the woman and the stiffest penalty, He saved for last and gave to the man.



Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, “You shall not eat of it”’ Cursed is the ground for your sake; in told you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; For dust you are and to dust you shall return. Genesis 3:17-19



The verdict was in…God gave Adam the death penalty.



Death? He didn’t die right then! He went on to have children and everything!



Yeah..but before then, man was going to live forever, that’s why they call that whole incidence, the Fall of Man.



So what does all that have to do with women being able to talk, let alone preach, in church today??



Well..I just used that to let you know that because of the Fall, and Adam’s Original Sin, we are born with a sin nature that at some point needs to be atoned, so that we can reconcile with God. You can’t get past that Blood of the Lamb..you gotta have it mane.



I already told you, I BELIEVE in Jesus and His sacrifice, I’m just not with this macho set tripping that religion and society imposes on me and they use the Bible to support the reason why!! I can’t serve a God who treats me as a second class citizen..the Lord I know is down for EVERYBODY.



On a spiritual level..this is true. But you can’t deny the fact that God made order amidst chaos. He spoke the earth into existence and everything in it, including us. And for everything we have in this world, God decreed a natural order, and of this man is the head over the entire earth, animals included.



Hmph! Isn’t that conveniently placed in the Bible..that is..it’s good if you’re a man!



Look, whatever issues you have against men, let that be with men. But once you come across something in God’s Word that just doesn’t ‘feel right’ to you, you need to ask yourself if the rebellion is all because of pride and vanity. Because right before the Lord gave Adam the death penalty, He broke Eve off a piece too..



To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception, in pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you. – Genesis 3:16



I don’t understand that part about ‘your desire shall be for your husband’??



It’s not about a sexual desire, I got this from The MacArthur Study Bible notes for this verse:" Because of sin and the curse, the man and the woman will face struggles in their own relationship. Sin has turned the harmonious system of God ordained roles into distasteful struggles of self will. Lifelong companions, husbands and wives will need God’s help in getting along as a result. The woman’s desire will be to lord it over her husband, but the husband will rule by divine design. (see Eph 5:22-25)"



Why does anybody have to ‘rule’ over anybody? Why can’t we all just be who we are??



Have you ever been in any type of team sport or group organization?



Yeah.



Did it have a leader?



Some..but some things we just did by democratic process..everybody gets a vote.



That sounds good..but marriages are usually just two people (unless you in to that OTHER kinda stuff)..so who’s supposed to make that decision in case of a tie?



Flip for it! He get his way one time and I’ll get mine the next! It’s not that hard you know.



Are you married?



What does that have to do with anything??



I was just asking..cuz if you were, I’d be curious to meet your husband and see what kinda fellow he was.



Just because I’m not married doesn’t mean I can’t voice my opinion!



No..it doesn’t. I’m just telling you that there are some things in the Bible that ALL of us don’t like, or that we wish we could ignore and act like it wasn’t there. There’s over 600 Levitical laws that the children of Israel had to follow..break even just ONE and something had to shed some blood. But because of Jesus, we have our sacrifice..and if you’re a person who believes, then you’re going to continue to strive toward being obedient. Salvation through Christ is not a static position..we are not ‘saved’ but rather we are being saved. We move from glory to glory..even if this doesn’t quite feel right to you..just pray on it and meditate on His Word. God will meet you at your level of understanding. Don’t let one thing keep you from striving to grow closer to Him.



I have no problem with God, and to be honest with you..if I had a husband who was a Godly man, that I trusted and respected for being a man of the Word and walking the walk of a Christian man? I wouldn’t have any problem submitting to him. But I ain’t about to let no ignant n’ga who’s out doing God knows what whenever he’s out with his boys, just think he go run home and do me any kind of way just because he’s a man and I’m a woman!!



I can understand that..that’s why women have that desire to lord over their husband in them, it puts more heat on the man to stand up and be the man of God and leader of the family like he’s supposed to be.



How did you know all of this??



Well..I’m married..and not too long after we got married..my wife and I started going through.



Going through?



Yeah..going through some thangs. And now that I sit back and think about it..we were going through thangs even before we got married, it’s just that we had learned to live around our differences and we fooled ourselves into thinking everything was okay. But as the marriage matured, those same issues and problems started creeping back into our relationship, and before I knew it..they were some full blown issues that had us tripping with each other. Having long heated conversations, writing letters full of pain, anger and frustration to each other..living in the same house, but living as strangers instead of as companions. And after awhile, I finally just got tired of that sh’t. Life is too short to spend it miserably married. Maybe we had just miscalculated what we wanted out of our relationship and we need to reshuffle the deck and get a divorce? All kind of stuff will start running through your mind. But I recognized that we were having a struggle of wills. Instead of communicating with each other, we had both barricaded ourselves in our own forts and we were bunkered down for the long haul. After awhile, that sh’t got old. Sometimes I wanted to just grab my wife neck and shake her so hard that she looked like a bobble head doll and make her submit to my will.



That sounds horrible?!!



Yeah..I guess it does, especially if you haven’t been through anything like that before. But I just THOUGHT it, I didn’t DO it..but don’t think it can’t get worse than that, cuz that’s not even the tip of the iceberg when you consider all of the domestic violence that goes on every day across America. But it all came down to a battle of wills, and I’m so stubborn and headstrong, I KNEW somebody had to lose this battle and it wasn’t about to be ME!!



Yeah..most men are ignant like that.



But that’s about the time that I started reading my Bible everyday..I had a thirst..I had to KNOW what the Word said about what I was dealing with, because from all my years of growing up, there is always one verse that my grandmother used to tell us ALL the time that stuck in my mind:



Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. – Proverbs 3:5-6



So what happened with you and your wife?



We continued to live around each other so to speak, but as I got deeper into that Word and it started to work inside of me, I started moving.



Moving? You moved out the house?



No, I started moving toward the Lord and His Way. When you read and study that Bible with a teachable heart, it will start to infuse into your heart..not all of a sudden (at least not for me), but kinda like a slow drip IV..drip..drip..it gets into your blood and you just start changing. And once it started happening to me, I looked around and noticed that my wife was moving too.



That sounds kinda..I dunno..spooky.



I know!! But the wild thing is, the closer we moved toward the Lord and His will, the more harmonious we became in our marriage. Instead of everything being a competition, with a tally sheet, ‘I did this, so you gotta do that..’, we started to rely on each other. So just like God instructed, we became one flesh.



Awww…that’s so sweet.



Yeah..and it’s all because of Jesus..and I thank Him everyday for laying it down for us like He did, because if it wasn’t for Him, my wife and I wouldn’t have found the strength to forgive each other for our past wrongs and move on.

(sniff) I think I’m gonna cry..that’s so beautiful.



You don’t have to cry..you should be smiling, the Lord is good ALL the time mane!! He sent me the wife that I needed to have to grow into the man that God intended for me to be. Yes sirrree..Tracy has definitely opened doors for D.

_______________________________________________



Wazzup everybody!!! (CHEEZIN) It’s good to be back, I’ve been going through some thangs, but even when I don’t post on servinemup.com, don’t EVER think I’m not grinding furiously with my pen. Writing fiction has started to make a me a little..crazy (I hear voices!!)..but I’m go be alright. From talking to other more experienced writers, as long as I don’t start having conversations with myself while staring in the mirror, I’m still sane. At least, I am so far…hopefully all of you are too! :)

Love and Respect

Like I’ve said before, it was because of the pressures that life put on me, through my marriage and all the things that go along with it, that made me thirst to know the Word. I needed order in my life, because I felt like my wife wasn’t listening to me and I definitely wasn’t listening to her. But once you get IN the marriage, one of the first things you realize is..

#1 You can’t make a grown person do shit.

I know men who literally lock their wives in the house every time they leave, just like I know women who will clown and slash tires and break out car windows cuz their man ain’t doing what they want them to do. Fortunately, my wife and I never fell to those depths, but we have had our rounds of power moves that usually set off a cycle of punches and counterpunches with both of us jockeying for position. But somewhere in the midst of our struggle, I realized that life is waaay too short for us to be having to deal with all this bullsh’t with each other. We had fallen into the familiar rut of keeping score, I did this, so now it’s your turn to do this. You didn’t do that, so now I’m not go do this.

Some people try to work it out with that 50-50 meeting in the middle, but that sh’t never worked for me. Because first of all, who’s to judge?? We all come into the marriage with our own preconceived notion of what it’s going to be like and invariably, once you get IN to the relationship, it’s different than what both of you thought it was going to be like.

So then right where you’re in the midst of laying in bed at night realizing you’re sleeping next to a crazy mf, that same person is on the other side of the bed (if ya’ll are still sleeping together at this point) realizing that they’re sleeping next to an ignant az n’ga.

My brother in law explained it to me in terms of Love and Respect. If you ask a woman which would she rather have out of love and respect and the woman is most likely to choose the love. But if you give a man this same choice, he more than likely wants the respect.

So then you have a cycle that starts with a woman not getting the love she wants from her husband, so in retaliation she starts withdrawing her respect and once the man feels his authority or power has been disrespected, that’s when he starts withdrawing his love and before long the cycle can become so vicious that the next thing you know there’s a big chasm of pain.distrust.anger.fear that separates the two. That’s when you start fantasizing about a time machine to take you back to your wedding day so that if you could do it all over again, when that preacher said, ‘Do you..” you would instead change your answer from “I do.” To “Hell nawww!!! I DON’T!!”

But of course, we don’t have a time machine, and we can’t change the past, so you have to find a way to deal with your situation. Divorce IS an option, cuz sometimes people feel like they just made a big mistake and they need to reshuffle their hand. But I don’t think you should head to that Big D, until you have at least attempted a sincere effort in following God’s plan for marriage. And to do that, you’ve got to first acknowledge Him as the head of your life.

But that’s the problem!! My ignant az husband don’t even GO to church or read the Bible, all he does is go to work, watch Sportscenter and go hang out with his ‘boys’!! My daddy TOLD me not to marry that n’ga and I should have listened!!!

Don’t listen to her D!! She always want to make it seem like I’m the bad one..yeah, she go to church and all, but just look at her!! She ain’t trying to do sh’t to please me!! All she want to do is lay up on the couch and watch TV all day, dirty dishes stacked in my sink a mile high, dirty clothes all over the place! She like to looks and dress fly when she go somewhere, but if somebody looked in her closet or saw how she kept this house, they’d know she was a nasty mf!! If my mama saw how my wife…

Whooaaa right there!! Now of course, everybody has their story to tell about how they’ve been wronged in the marriage and of all the shortcomings their spouse may have. But before we get into that, let’s look at the ground rules that the Lord laid down for a MAN and a WOMAN in marriage from the beginning.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

See, there’s some key points to be gained right there..first, you gotta leave yo mama and daddy. There’s a lot of marriages being dictated and influenced by outside sources like overbearing mother-in-laws. But God’s plan is for the husband and wife to function as one unit..’they shall become one flesh’. This doesn’t just mean in the sexual sense, this is a much deeper union and commitment, because you’re taking two unlike creatures and you’re joining them together as one.

Invariably, there’s going to be some interface problems, but the first step is realizing that there is no more you and me, all there is is ‘us’. Too often resentment has already set in so deep, that both sides are looking sideways at each other frowning up like the other one breath stank..

I don’t want to be ‘one’ with that ignant n’ga!!

That girl crazy! I ain’t trying to be ‘one’ with her!!

But once you realize that there is no ‘perfect’ husband or ‘perfect’ wife, then you can start working on those areas which are prohibiting you from being on one accord. Cuz one thing’s for sure…life is much too short than to be going through it miserably married..that ain’t fresh. So once you realize that for whatever reason, God HAS joined you two together as one flesh, then you realize that you’re going to have to get it together or leave it alone. Some people play the game and go through the motions, living in the same house as strangers just because they’re too prideful or afraid to do anything else. When people ask how they’re doing, the most common response is,

‘We doing alright.’

Alright huh? You okay with alright? Or are you serious about being all that you can be and living your life to the fullest? Cuz no matter what is going on in your life, your money can be rolling, your job can be fulfilling, your children can be giving you joy, but if you’re not happy at home? Guess what?…you ain’t happy in life. So at some point you’ve got to realize that God does have a blueprint He meant for us to follow and when we adhere to the guidelines that He set forth, you have to have faith in Him to lead you through even the most throwed off marriage.

People can deny Christ all they want, but they can’t tell ME Jesus ain’t real, cuz I’ve seen Him reach in and save marriages through the midst of financial strain, gunfights, verbal assaults, infidelity, drug abuse and all those pitfalls that the devil puts out there to destroy the family structure. Because if the family structure crumbles, that’s when our society as we know it crumbles. That’s why you gotta build the foundation to your house on that Rock ya’ll..He’s the only Way.

Soul Food

Hate it or love it, the underdog’s on top,
I’m go shine baby til my heart stops
Go head and envy me, I’m rap’s MVP
And I ain’t goin’ nowhere til you get to know me.
- The Game feat. 50 Cent, ‘Hate It or Love It’


Last night, I was talking on the phone with one of my friends and he overheard me asking my wife if she knew where my headphones were….

“Whatchu need your headphones for??” he asked me.

I’m about to do some work.

Work? You about to do some work now?? It’s after 10 o’clock!

Yeah..well..my clock doesn’t stop because of time.

Oh..okay. (He kinda gave me that ‘oh okay’ like he didn’t know what the hell I was talking about tone..I tend to have that affect on people from time to time)

You don’t like to listen to music while you work?

Yeah..but you know, with my job if I mess something up cuz I’m jamming too hard, I can go back and fix it, but with your job, if you mess something up, somebody is go be mad cuz they ain’t getting water where they’re supposed to.

(laughing) Yeah..but I’m not talking about work for my job, I’m talking about my real work..writing.

Oh..well yeah, I guess you can listen to music while you’re doing that…what do you listen to when you write? Some DJ Screw or something like that??

Sometimes.. it just depends on what mood I’m in..tonight I’m jammin’ that new 50 Cent.

See..I new it had to be something hood. What’s the name for the next article you bout to put out there?

Soul Food.

Soul Food? Do you mean the TV show or real soul food? Cuz you know titles don’t really mean sh’t with yo az..you’ll have a n’ga reading one thing and thinking it’s going to be about something, and then the next thing you know, you flip the script and make it turn out to be about something else.

Well..you know..that’s my job as a writer. When I’m working at my best I’m making people expand their mind and think about things they’ve never thought about.

Oh yeah..that’s what you call it huh?

Yep! And I ain’t going nowhere til they get to know me.

What??

Never mind mane, gone and watch the game, I gotta get to work, I’ll holla atcha later. (click)
________________________________

Fortunately ya’ll, I found my headphones! Yaaay! Cuz I like to settle down on my couch in the quiet den in the night hours, pop in the CD that feels closest to my mood and just go for mine. Sometimes it’s gospel, sometimes it’s hard core Screw, you can never tell with me..I’m just that kinda n’ga. It used to worry me, this weirdness that caused so many to look at me with a cocked head of confusion. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve found solace in knowing that it’s actually a good thing being ‘weird’ in this world. I’m not bland like dry toast, I'm more like hot water cornbread, Spicy with a lil thug stirred in my coffee..it’s all good. I asked my wife what she thought the average reader who didn’t know me thought when they first read a servinemup article.

“They think you're crazy!” she said matter of factly without a moment’s hesitation.

“But what about the people who already know me?”

“The people that know you already KNOW you’re crazy!”

“But relatively..compared to my kinfolk, I’m really one of the mild ones”

“Don’t fool yourself D” it looked like she was trying not to laugh, “You might not be MORE crazy than your family, but you’re definitely not LESS crazy than they are. ALL of ya’ll are crazy!”

“Alright now..watch yo mouf..don’t act like I ain’t neva met none of yo people.”

Sometimes you gotta be careful when you start referring to in-laws, cuz some people take it too far and start trying to play the dozens on the cool. I know a lot of ya’ll may THINK I’m crazy, but obviously ya’ll haven’t met my father, or his mother, or my crazy az uncles and aunties yet. I’m really about a 6 out of 10 on the crazy scale, cuz as you know, Crazy is Relative.

The equipment that my company manufactures is used by anyone who needs to move, meter or monitor water and/or wastewater. So we work closely with golf course irrigation, sports fields, municipal lift stations, fire control..you get the picture? Now the weird thing about it, is that our company is relatively small, and to date, no one at my job knows about my ‘other’ job, of writing. They know I’ve had technical articles published in some of the trade magazines for our industry like Turf Magazine, California Fairways and Pumps & Systems, but they know nothing about my book writing or even my hustle gig here at http://www.servinemup.com/. I’m sure the day is coming that my manager is going to walk into my office and make some smart az comment about servinemup or D.E. Washington, after he lands in an email distribution list that has a link to my website. Once that day comes, I know that I have arrived. Cuz most of the people I work with are heathens who don’t go to church and remotely believe in God, and they’re white..so, the chances of them being ‘served’anytime soon is pretty slim to none, but I’m working on it. If you do a Google search for servinemup, you’ll see at least a page of links pop up. I’ve been making my way around the web, planting my trail of seeds for others to follow to the realest blogger on the world wide web.

There’s a lot of writers getting down for theirs on the web. A friend of mine sent me the link to this one chick out of Atlanta at http://www.ghettointellect.com/ that I think is positively off the chain! She’s intelligent, funny and real. But all ya’ll holier than thou curse word police that are easily offended? That ain’t the place you want to be, cuz you’ll probably get your feelings hurt. Some people may read her blog and think that it’s not something that a good Christian should be reading, just like some folks read servinemup and think that it’s not something a good Christian should be writing, with all the curse words and ‘n’gaz’ thrown over the place like plaster. If the world that you are living in is so isolated that you get thrown off by four letter words, then you need to get out more and volunteer at a homeless shelter or mentor some underprivileged kids and see what’s really going on out there on the street. I fully acknowledge the need for all of us to learn how to live together and love one another, but D. Wash and his ‘filthy mouth’ ain’t the problem mane, I’m grinding toward the solution. And the sad fact is that there are a lot of people that would never read this far down into the page without the occasional curse word placed in timely spots for emphasis or comedic effect. Stop hating and get in the game mane, n’gaz on the sidelines spectating always got something to SAY about the game, yet they never get IN the game and actually DO anything themselves. Have you EVER shared the link to http://www.servinemup.com/ with other’s in your email distribution? What about lately?? Hmmm..

So..my wife was telling me that everybody either thinks or knows that I’m crazy…

You even got folks thinking that we have Mr. and Mrs. Incredible outfits!!

I couldn’t help but start laughing then…

Aww baby, that’s just some gonzo journalism, it loosens people up.

She gave me one of those looks like, ‘What the hell is gonzo journalism???” Of course, it’s easy for me to floss and act all smart like I always knew the meaning for that term, but the truth is that I only recently found out what it meant myself. Last month, a guy by the name of Hunter S. Thompson passed away, and for those who don’t know him, he was a critically acclaimed writer who some consider mastered the art of ‘gonzo journalism’. Basically it’s a form of writing and reporting, where the writer is actually a part of the story and all the events that are described aren’t quite 100% factual, there’s some embellishing and liberties taken to make the event covered more entertaining for the reader. Hunter started as a beat writer for a newspaper, then he sold a couple of stories to magazines and his big break was when Rolling Stone picked up one of his stories which eventually became his most famous book, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. The excerpt below is from the first paragraph of the book..

" We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?" Then it was quiet again. My attorney had taken his shirt off and was pouring beer on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the hell are you yelling about?" he muttered, staring up at the sun with his eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to drive." I hit the brakes and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough. "

I don’t know about ya'll, but that right there is HILARIOUS to me. Of course, I’m not down with the blasphemy and using the name of the Lord in vain (I don’t do that!), but you can’t knock the talent, cuz it’s real. So after I learned out about this thing called gonzo journalism, I reflected back on my work and I realized that it shared a lot of the same characteristics. The real spooky part is that Hunter S. Thompson put a gun to his head and committed suicide. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the writing..I dunno. But what I DO know, is if ya’ll EVA pick up a newspaper and see a story that says, ‘Writer D.E. Washington Committs Suicide!”, ya’ll need to have the police, FBI, ATF, Coast Guard, military, congress, senate, CSI, Berretta(I hear he’s looking for work now) and all your cousins and kinfolk start an investigation, cuz somebody would have had to set me up!!

But for real tho..I know ya’ll may still be thinking,’What the hell does any of this have to do with Soul Food???” Well, it’s a simple equation really. What ever you feed your soul, is bound to be manifested in your being. Just like with real food, if all you do is eat a bunch of junk food and fast food, then it’s bound to show up in the way your body looks and feels. But ya’ll know I’ve got some real parents, and they don’t play that junk food diet thing, they're all about putting some good soul food on the table and whatever you got, you betta make sure you made a Happy Plate. But the food was always so good and off the chain, eating everything on your plate was rarely a hard task. Both my mother and my father are excellent cooks. When people roll through their house, you’re likely to see them serving something like roasted turkey wings, collard greens, okra, REAL macaroni and cheese (not that bullsh’t with the powdered cheese), hot water cornbread..coffe, tea or punch. And then my mama always has something sweet to eat, like..oh, my bad? Is this making you hungry? I know all those who are fasting for Lent, or during their 40 days of purpose may have a hard time dealing with these images right now, but don’t let me throw you off..focus on the Lord mane..focus on the Lord.

A lot of my friends know that I’m actually kinda watered down and tame right here on servinemup, they know that I have a higher gear of crazy that I can take it to, more so than what I’ve shown to date and they wonder what’s made me more..you know..’full of that Jesus talk’. I know one of the biggest fears that those who have not repented, and given their life over to the path that the Christ prescribes for all children of God to follow, is that they’re afraid of losing their identity. They like who they are and how they do it and they ain’t trying to hear nobody telling them to ‘change’. I know, because I was one of these hard headed people who didn’t want to bow down and submit. More so than fear, it’s a pride thang.

I ain’t no mf slave! I’m my OWN man!! Blah-blah-blah..

The thing most people don’t realize, is that God doesn’t want to change who you are, He made us all individually with our own Free Will. But what God does want to change is who you serve. Ya feel me? Long as you praying to that god of me, myself and I, you’re going to be stuck right there where you are. But once you bow down in obedience to the Word, that’s when you’ll be ready to get some thangs done in this world FO-REAL. Another common complaint is that, “I’m not ready for all that right now, I’ll start getting closer to the Lord once I kick this bad habit I got.” The problem with that, is that you ain’t about to kick nothing without the Lord’s help. God doesn’t expect any of us to approach Him as perfect people, He wants us to come with a bowed head and humble heart just as we are. As you walk toward Him, He will strengthen you and that Spirit will start working inside you to move you toward achieving your fullest potential. This ain’t something I just made up or theorized either, it’s what the Bible (Phillipians 2:12-13) says, and it’s something that I’ve seen not only in my life, but also in the lives of several of the closest people to me. I’ve seen the Lord take those same uncles that used to shoot dice with my dad in our garage, with a washing machine full of iced down brews and I’ve seen the Spirit work in them where those same n’gaz that were down on their knees trying to catch a point, now down on their knees praying for their families and/or congregation as preachers, pastors, deacons and Sunday School teachers. That Holy Spirit is very much alive and well ya’ll, and if you don’t believe me, all I can tell you is to taste and see how sweet He really is (Psalms 34:8). People ask me about my transformation..or my metamorphosis and how it came about. I tell them that it started with a thirst for knowledge and understanding, that could only be quenched by reading the Bible. I’m to a point now where Bible study is a part of my daily routine, I’m all the way gone on that Jesus ya’ll..my worship is not confined to Sunday’s, I seek Him everyday in prayer and meditation. But the thing is that living in this world, with the images we have in the media, on television, at the movies, on the radio..there’s a lot of things out there in our daily view that will keep us distracted from focusing on the cross. So instead we watch those booty shaking videos, porn flicks, gossip shows, people getting a laugh at the expense of hurting someone else’s feelings..we live in a world full of haters. And the only way to combat this, is by making a more directed effort to control your spiritual diet. If you’re constantly feeding yourself stuff that will ‘get your money right’..or get ‘tight abs’ or Jerry Springer and Cheaters, and you never feed that soul..then you’re going to remain in spiritual infancy. If it goes neglected over time, this spiritual need to be closer to God will begin to atrophy and harden. The next thing you know, each weekend will pass and you will become more and more comfortable without attending any worship service. Before long, you won’t even think about it unless your Grandma jams you up over the holidays as you’re going to get another helping of them greens…

You been going to church baby?

Uhh..well, I’ve been a couple of times Grandma.

A coupla times?? Boyy..you got them young kids you raising, you NEED to join somebody’s church and start taking them kids to learn about the Lawd!

I know, I know..it’s just that Sunday’s are normally our only day to relax.

Relax?? Boyy, don’t you know that if it wasn’t for the Lawd and His amazing Grace and Mercy, that you wouldn’t even have a place to lay your head to relax!!?

Yes ma’am.

You can’t argue with Grandma mane..just gone and admit that she’s right and gone about your business. C’mon now, if a n’ga like ME can start going to church regularly, then I KNOW you can !! No, it’s not a requirement for entering into His kingdom in Heaven, but if you DO believe in our Saviour, then you will start heeding the call of that Word. And the Word says that obedience is better than sacrifice (I Samuel 15:22). You can be breaking off all kinda financial assistance to the homeless or sending your money to church, but the Lord wants YOU to be there..honoring the Sabbath and keeping it holy. But if you’re steady caught up in that freak action, or out playing golf, watching football, sleeping, shopping, playing dominoes, whatever it is you do on weekends and you never make time for the Lord? Then you need to think about that the next time you get on your knees asking Him for something. Yeah, God CAN hear you, but you gotta get to the back of the line, cuz there are millions of righteous folks, who pray and worship diligently who’s prayers are going in front of yours, cuz the prayers of the RIGHTEOUS availeth much (James 5:16)…ya feel me? That doesn’t mean you should stop praying, it just means you need to make your game tighter and get real in your worship.

When I first published the Abbeville Etouffee Recipe, my intent was to start publishing other recipes regularly. But after reading it one day, it occurred to me that everybody doesn’t need to be eating a dish that contains a whole stick of butter. Yeah, it tastes good, but ya’ll can’t be eating that EVERY DAY. So I had to chill on the recipe thang for a bit, at least until I can get some more cholesterol/blood pressure friendly one’s to post. But since so many people have asked me what I feed my spirit in terms of the written word, I thought I’d list all of the books that I’ve read this past year..well, actually, since my last birthday, so it’s more like what I’ve read in the last 16 months. Now ya’ll already know that I read the Bible daily, but some have asked what translation. I read Strong’s Authorized King James Version Bible, as well as the MacArthur Study Bible. Whenever I want to dig deeper, and get off into my word study and look up the original Hebrew or Greek word or passage, I have my Strongest Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance that my parents got me for my 33rd birthday. It’s that heavy hitting gat for when you want to get DEEP off into that Word. But everybody ain’t got that kinda appetite, but hey, we are where we are. Mixed in to my Bible reading and study, I also read my weekly Sunday School lessons from UMI’s Urban Study Guide books (who’s wonderful editor Katara Washington happens to enjoy the Etouffee recipe!), as well as the Standard Lesson Commentary of International Sunday School Lessons. I have a somewhat weird range of selections. (listed in no particular order) :

Revelations, There’s a Light after the Lime – Pastor Mason Bethea
On Air Volume II – Tavis Smiley
On Being a Writer – Bill Strickland
Writing Past Dark – Bonnie Friedman
The Master Cleanser – Stanley Burroughs
God’s Vision or Television – Carl Jefferey Wright
The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
Shutter Island – Dennis Lehane
The World of the Old Testament – Packer-Tenney-White
The Art of War – Sun Tzu
The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
We Shall Not Sleep – Clyde Owen Jackson
On the Down Low – J.L. King
Discovering David’s Destiny – Timothy J. Winters
Do the Write Thing- 7 steps to Publishing Success – Kwame Alexander
Rich Dad, Poor Dad – Robert Kiyosaki
The Best Short Stories by Black Writers 1899-1967 – edited by Langston Hughes
The Amen Corner – James Baldwin
The Cost of Discipleship – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Lost in the City – Edward P. Jones
The Known World – Edward P. Jones
50 Years of Timeless Treasures – Dr. Gardner C. Taylor
Dreams from My Father – Barack Obama
The Purpose Driven Life – Rick Warren

Some people trip out that I rarely read any modern black writers like EJ Dickey or E.Lynn Harris, but as you can see, I’ve always been partial to the historical classics. I like to study those writers who have stood the test of time and I also like to read those writers who I feel feed my soul with something real and not that junk food. When you combine that with the fact that the only time I watch TV is if I’m watching football (NFL) or golf, then you can see why I’ve been growing this past year. I’m eating that real food. I’m not flossing about it, or trying to thump my chest and show off how ‘smart’ I am, it’s just that a lot of people ask how I got to where I am in my walk and in my faith, so now you know.

Now for those who are smirking and thinking it’s a joke, let me tell you a real story to make you start tripping. I’m sure by now, everybody has heard about the guy in Atlanta who jacked a sheriff constable for her gun and went into the court room and shot the judge and the reporting clerk in the court room where he was about to go up for a rape retrial last Friday? Well, ya’ll know the police caught him after a woman who he had overpowered and forced his way into her apartment had turned him in. The wild part is that after he forced the woman into her apartment and tied her up, she started talking to him about the Bible and a book that she was reading, The Purpose Driven Life. He made the comment that that stuff didn’t matter, because he knew that after what he had done, he was a dead man. She told him that that wasn’t true, and that God has a plan for him, even at his stage in life. She read aloud to him from the 33rd chapter of the book, How Real Servants Act. And he listened intently as she read it, so much so that he asked her to read it again. She told him that God could have planned for him to use his testimony, whether in jail or on death row, to lead other’s toward the Light. She made him pancakes and he eventually let her go free, after exclaiming that she must be an angel that God sent to deliver him. Fortunately after that, no one else was hurt and he turned himself in peacefully and without incident. But who knows what that scenario would have ended up in if she wasn’t well fed in the Word as well as Pastor Warren’s groundbreaking manifesto on the meaning of life!! So many people want to take the short cut to happiness and peace and look for the cliff notes or abbreviated versions of Scripture, because they don’t have the time, interest or attention span to really study the Bible for themselves.

Hopefully, my words can serve as an appetizer to spur someone’s appetite to pick up their Bible and start reading the Word for themselves. Some Bible scholars recommend starting with the gospel of John for those who have never read the Word, while others say start from the beginning in Genesis. No matter where you start,or how you read it, just start taking a few minutes out of your day to read and meditate on the Word. No matter your reading ability, God will meet you at your level of understanding. I know it’s a lot harder thing to do for those who have never had anyone to guide or direct them to a better understanding. I can’t empathize with your plight, because I’ve always been surrounded by strong hearted and REAL people that have rooted themselves in the Word of the Lord.

I know everybody doesn’t have the chance to read the Bible with their grandfather and discuss theological things like why Nicodemus (John 3:1-21) went to visit the Lord at night ..and I know that everyone doesn’t get a chance to go over the Sunday School lesson with their father and/or mother. But no matter where you started from, you’re here now baby and you have free will over the next step you make in your life. Gone and realize that purpose that God has meant for you and your life mane!. Welcome to servinemup ya’ll!! Hate it or love it, D.Washington is still on top

May 5, 2005

The Lord sent D huh?



Already.



What exactly does that mean??



Did you read that Scripture from Isaiah 6:8?



Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”



Uhhh..yeah, I read that..but that’s talking about the prophet Isaiah..that’s not YOU!



Well, the Bible isn’t just a historical text, it’s also a guide for us to live by and follow, so to me, it’s kinda like that story about the dude in the boat.



Dude in the boat??



Yeah..it was a dude out fishing in the ocean in his boat one day and all of a sudden, the winds changed and thundering clouds started rolling in. It got so dark and gloomy that all of the other small boats like his started heading toward shore and as they passed by him they called out, ‘Say mane!! It’s getting bad out here, you betta head on in like us!’ The dude just brushed them off, cuz in his mind, he was one of God’s children and his proclaimation to them was, ‘Ya’ll don’t worry about me..God has got me covered.’ Next thing you know, the weather started getting rough and the tiny ship was tossed..



That sounds like the Gilligan Island song!



Yeah..I jacked it a bit..but the point is, the water got more and more choppy and the larger boats were heading in to shore to safety and they saw the dude in his little boat being tossed to and fro and they called to him to let them help him get in to safety. But once again, the dude waved them away and told them, ‘God has got me’. Well as time passed the storm REALLY started raging and it was all the dude could do to stay in his boat and not capsize, but then a Coast Guard helicopter flew by and dropped down a line and called out over the megaphone, ‘Grab the line and we’ll pull you up!! This is your last chance!!’ But the dude remained steadfast, in his mind, he knew God would save him, so he waved them off and they left.



This must be one of those ‘miracle’ stories.



No, actually this is a hardened heart story..cuz not too long after the helicopter had left, the man’s boat capsized and he fell into the ocean and drowned. So he’s going up before the Judgement Seat of the Lord and he passes by St. Peter on his way to the stand and asks him, ‘Say mane! What’s the deal?? I thought God and all the saints and angels had my back?? How come ya’ll didn’t save me??’, Peter looked at him while he shook his head and said, ‘Jesus came for you 3 times and you kept denying Him…mane.’

Oh. So I guess you’re saying that God sent you to save folks?



I don’t know about all that..but I do know that the people who read what I write, as well as the people who know D. Washington personally, will never be able to say that nobody ever told them about Jesus Christ.



Yeah well..you already know how I feel about that religion thang..it’s a man made construct to appease the masses. The God I submit to isn’t confined to a building full of folks who think they’re holier than thou.



Neither is Jesus. As Believers we go to church as an act of obedience, because if you want to have God’s protective hedge around you and your family, you need the covering of being part of a praise and worship community.



C’mon now! You ain’t got to go to church to believe in God!!



That’s true..but if you DO believe, then you’re going to study that Word and hold it close to your heart. And God’s Word does not change, all those who are called by His name are commanded to honour the Sabbath and keep it holy. You can make all kind of excuses about how you’re already ‘All prayed up’ or how you watch ministers on TV to get fed, but that still doesn’t negate you from being responsible to the commandment..obedience is better than sacrifice mane.



Yeah, well, maybe it’s just me. Cuz whenever I do go to church, I find myself being turned off by all the jankiness IN the church! From the preachers sleeping with almost every woman in the congregation, to all the phonies who show up just to show off their clothes..I just prefer to worship God by myself and keep it real.



I feel that..cuz I used to be just like that too. But if you’re REAL about keeping it REAL, then you’re going to study that Word. And as easy as it is to take it in ‘sips’, using those Scriptures that ‘feel right’ to you as edicts, but ignoring the commandments that you’re not ready to deal with, that’s when you’re going to find yourself trapped in the midst of a storm, then God is going to start working on your heart. You don’t have to feel bad about having shortcomings and faults, we all do. God doesn’t expect you to come to Him as a perfect person, He just wants you to come..He’ll take care of the rest in due time.



See..you making a n’ga feel all…strange and sh’t. Cuz you trying to make a n’ga think about some thangs that he just ain’t ready for yet.



That ain’t me..that’s that Word I just put on you that’s working on your heart. (smiling) Like I told you mane..God sent D for ya!



So I guess you’re that n’ga that’s throwing down ropes to save folks!?



Nah, I can’t even save myself..Jesus is the one who gets the glory mane. He’s the one that got up on that cross and laid it down for us.



Jesus is the Savior huh?

Already!



Mane D..with the way you break it down, you could start your own church and have people down to follow you.



Yeah..well, God is not through with D yet, I still have my own issues I’m working through.



What do you mean?


Well..in my mind, the people who GO to church have already acknowledged their need to grow closer to Him. God put on my heart to reach out to those who don’t go to church or study the Word for themselves. When you survey the landscape of what’s really going on in the world today, we already have more than enough preachers up in the pulpit, what we really NEED right now is more soldiers on the battlefield. Shining that Light into the darkness, so that those who are lost might be found.



I can feel that.

No soul left behind mane…Servinemup Ink is ridin’ on them fools!! Now..whatchu go do?



What do you mean?



You know what I mean n’ga..are you go come on in or are you go stay out there in the that storm?



I don’t know if I’m ready for all that yet.



That ain’t no excuse..I wasn’t ‘ready’ either, but at some point you have to step on out there on faith, knowing that He got you. Cuz one thing’s for sure, ready or not, Jesus is coming back mane..and if you ain’t on His team, you’re bound to drizz-own. Be a REAL player mane…get in the game for the Lord.

________________________________

I was playing golf the other day with a close friend, and two other guys that we had never met. That’s just how golf is, they pair you with strangers, but by the end of 18 holes you end up as friends. It doesn’t always end up that way, cuz sometimes you have to play with people who are so ‘throwed off’, you never want to play with them again..anyway, over the course of the round, we all started talking about our professions and what it is we do for a living and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that one of the guys we were playing with was a journalist. I made sure to give him one of my cards and told him to check out the website..www.servinemup.com...but as me and my podna got back into our cart to drive to the next hole, he started smiling at me…



You gave him one of your cards?



Yeah..I ‘serve’ em up whenever I can.



Man…he’s going to be tripping when he reads some of your stuff.



Why do you say that?



Well you know..I read it..and you write about some different kind of sh’t that most n’gaz don’t talk about. Sometimes you write about some sh’t that I ain’t even ready to think about.



You know what? That’s probably the best compliment I’ve ever received.



Really? Why do you say that?



Cuz that lets me know that I’m writing to please God and not man. Cuz you better believe, those same things that you ‘ain’t ready to see’ are those same things that I wasn’t ready to see either before the Lord convicted my heart.



So then the question always arises, ‘What is it that makes me so sure that Jesus is Lord?” And it’s a great question to ask, because I’m sure we all have had doubts about the deity of Christ at some point in our lives, even the ‘church’ folks. For me, it all started with the sensation of being out on that boat..tossed to and fro. I believed in one Almighty God, the presence and existence of a Supreme Being, but my hangup came with religion and where all the different faiths fit in to the picture of God’s plan for man. I mean, our lives couldn’t be just random chaos..could it???



Orthodox Jews say if you’re not kosher you’re going to hell, Muslims say you gotta believe in the prophet Mohammed, Christians say that Jesus is the way, Buddhist, Taoist, there’s literally thousands of different religions throughout the world..who’s to say one is right and everybody else is wrong? So I was stuck in agnosticism..I mean, who REALLY knows what’s up? Ain’t nobody died and came back to tell us what it’s like on the other side, so who has the authoritative claim to salvation? Could 2 Billion Muslims be wrong? If Christians are supposed to be so ‘saved’, why are all these priests molesting these little boys? Jesus was Jewish, how come they don’t believe in Him? I had millions of questions that shrouded my heart, and kept me from walking toward the Light…it all seemed useless.

But once I got married, and I got IN to the marriage, that little boat I was on started taking in water..I could see that I was about to drown. And through my turmoil, the only thing that could soothe me and give me a sense of security, was when I read my Bible. And I set out on a journey to read the entire Bible from “In the beginning”, all the way to “May the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen” , I was seeking the Lord for myself ya’ll. All those things that Big Mama taught me about God wasn’t enough. All those words of advice from Grandma couldn’t DO it for D. All those exhortations from my mother to serve the Lord while I still had time wasn’t getting it done..I had to know Him for myself.



And the more I prayed and studied, the more that Spirit started to move in me. I sometimes wonder where I would be spiritually if I hadn’t gotten married and if I didn’t have any kids. Because it took some real life pressure and frustration for me to realize that I was in a dark pit of despair and my soul was thirsting for the Truth. There wasn’t a single cataclysmic event that made me know..but there was a turning point that pushed me to the edge and prepared me to make that leap of faith over to the other side and that was when I read Isaiah.

I have an uncle who pastors a church in Kansas City, MO..Uncle D! (he's the one with his mouth open, preaching the gospel of dominoes) and I heard him preach a sermon one day on Isaiah and how his book is often referred to as the ‘Bible in miniature’. But when you really study it, you see that Isaiah prophesied or ‘shot-called’ so many facts about the coming Messiah, that it would take a hardened heart NOT to see that Jesus was a part of God’s plan for the redemption of man from the beginning.



Behold! The virgin shall conceive and bare a Son and call His name, Immanuel. – Is 7:14



So when you get into that Old School Scripture, you will really begin to see how Jesus didn’t come to abolish the Law, but rather to fulfill it. Now we can go all day and all night through the Scriptures, talking about Jesus, but that’s just MY testimony on how I came to Christ and above all, I’m just glad He sent me ya’ll..and that’s fo real. Cuz I sometimes think about what my life would be like without Jesus, and it makes me shudder and tremble.

Mixed Marriages (Still Tippin) got some positive, but it seems the general consensus is that folks want me to get more real into the marriage thang. Americans are tripping on Social Security and how it’s set to be completely depleted of funds before most of us X-generationers reach retirement age, but what ya’ll need to be tripping on is the assault on the first social union decreed by God and that is the marriage between a MAN and a WOMAN. All ya’ll gays that’s trying to jump on that marriage bandwagon..this ain’t the place for it right here, cuz I ain’t trying to hear all that nonsense and I’ve got the Bible to back it up. So..for those ready to get deeper into the ‘marriage thang’, check out that Love and Respect.

Love and Respect

Like I’ve said before, it was because of the pressures that life put on me, through my marriage and all the things that go along with it, that made me thirst to know the Word. I needed order in my life, because I felt like my wife wasn’t listening to me and I definitely wasn’t listening to her. But once you get IN the marriage, one of the first things you realize is..



#1 You can’t make a grown person do shit.



I know men who literally lock their wives in the house every time they leave, just like I know women who will clown and slash tires and break out car windows cuz their man ain’t doing what they want them to do. Fortunately, my wife and I never fell to those depths, but we have had our rounds of power moves that usually set off a cycle of punches and counterpunches with both of us jockeying for position. But somewhere in the midst of our struggle, I realized that life is waaay too short for us to be having to deal with all this bullsh’t with each other. We had fallen into the familiar rut of keeping score,



I did this, so now it’s your turn to do this.



You didn’t do that, so now I’m not go do this.



Some people try to work it out with that 50-50 meeting in the middle, but that sh’t never worked for me. Because first of all, who’s to judge?? We all come into the marriage with our own preconceived notion of what it’s going to be like and invariably, once you get IN to the relationship, it’s different than what both of you thought it was going to be like. So then right where you’re in the midst of laying in bed at night realizing you’re sleeping next to a crazy mf, that same person is on the other side of the bed (if ya’ll are still sleeping together at this point) realizing that they’re sleeping next to an ignant az n’ga.



My brother in law explained it to me in terms of Love and Respect. If you ask a woman which would she rather have out of love and respect and the woman is most likely to choose the love. But if you give a man this same choice, he more than likely wants the respect. So then you have a cycle that starts with a woman not getting the love she wants from her husband, so in retaliation she starts withdrawing her respect and once the man feels his authority or power has been disrespected, that’s when he starts withdrawing his love and before long the cycle can become so vicious that the next thing you know there’s a big chasm of pain.distrust.anger.fear that separates the two. That’s when you start fantasizing about a time machine to take you back to your wedding day so that if you could do it all over again, when that preacher said, ‘Do you..” you would instead change your answer from “I do.” To “Hell nawww!!! I DON’T!!”



But of course, we don’t have a time machine, and we can’t change the past, so you have to find a way to deal with your situation. Divorce IS an option, cuz sometimes people feel like they just made a big mistake and they need to reshuffle their hand. But I don’t think you should head to that Big D, until you have at least attempted a sincere effort in following God’s plan for marriage. And to do that, you’ve got to first acknowledge Him as the head of your life.



But that’s the problem!! My ignant az husband don’t even GO to church or read the Bible, all he does is go to work, watch Sportscenter and go hang out with his ‘boys’!! My daddy TOLD me not to marry that n’ga and I should have listened!!!



Don’t listen to her D!! She always want to make it seem like I’m the bad one..yeah, she go to church and all, but just look at her!! She ain’t trying to do sh’t to please me!! All she want to do is lay up on the couch and watch TV all day, dirty dishes stacked in my sink a mile high, dirty clothes all over the place! She like to looks and dress fly when she go somewhere, but if somebody looked in her closet or saw how she kept this house, they’d know she was a nasty mf!! If my mama saw how my wife…



Whooaaa right there!! Now of course, everybody has their story to tell about how they’ve been wronged in the marriage and of all the shortcomings their spouse may have. But before we get into that, let’s look at the ground rules that the Lord laid down for a MAN and a WOMAN in marriage from the beginning.



“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24



See, there’s some key points to be gained right there..first, you gotta leave yo mama and daddy. There’s a lot of marriages being dictated and influenced by outside sources like overbearing mother-in-laws. But God’s plan is for the husband and wife to function as one unit..’they shall become one flesh’. This doesn’t just mean in the sexual sense, this is a much deeper union and commitment, because you’re taking two unlike creatures and you’re joining them together as one. Invariably, there’s going to be some interface problems, but the first step is realizing that there is no more you and me, all there is is ‘us’.



Too often resentment has already set in so deep, that both sides are looking sideways at each other frowning up like the other one breath stank..



I don’t want to be ‘one’ with that ignant n’ga!!



That girl crazy! I ain’t trying to be ‘one’ with her!!



But once you realize that there is no ‘perfect’ husband or ‘perfect’ wife, then you can start working on those areas which are prohibiting you from being on one accord. Cuz one thing’s for sure…life is much too short than to be going through it miserably married..that ain’t fresh. So once you realize that for whatever reason, God HAS joined you two together as one flesh, then you realize that you’re going to have to get it together or leave it alone. Some people play the game and go through the motions, living in the same house as strangers just because they’re too prideful or afraid to do anything else. When people ask how they’re doing, the most common response is,

‘We doing alright.’



Alright huh? You okay with alright? Or are you serious about being all that you can be and living your life to the fullest? Cuz no matter what is going on in your life, your money can be rolling, your job can be fulfilling, your children can be giving you joy, but if you’re not happy at home? Guess what?…you ain’t happy in life. So at some point you’ve got to realize that God does have a blueprint He meant for us to follow and when we adhere to the guidelines that He set forth, you have to have faith in Him to lead you through even the most throwed off marriage. People can deny Christ all they want, but they can’t tell ME Jesus ain’t real, cuz I’ve seen Him reach in and save marriages through the midst of financial strain, gunfights, verbal assaults, infidelity, drug abuse and all those pitfalls that the devil puts out there to destroy the family structure. Because if the family structure crumbles, that’s when our society as we know it crumbles. That’s why you gotta build the foundation to your house on that Rock ya’ll..He’s the only Way.

Sent

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" - Isaiah 6:8

Sometimes I almost feel like apologizing to ya'll for my eccentric ways. As you can probably tell by now, I've always had a problem coloring inside the lines, I'm one of those hard-heads from the Southside that always wanted to do MY thang...rules schmules. For so long, I held my relationship and my faith in my Lord and Saviour close to my heart. It was never something I talked about publicly, because it was a personal thang..it was MY relationship with the Lord, I didn't have to share that with ANYBODY..or so I thought.

But once the Lord touches your life and awakens the spiritual being in you, you're not going to be able to keep it to yourself, you're going to have to tell SOMEbody just how good He really is.

When I posted Mixed Marriges (Still Tippin), it threw a few people off. Some people can't understand how a writer can quote an ex-drug dealer turned rapper as well as Bible scriptures in the same article. Others can't believe that I'm still living in the archaic social mindset of the South, because I don't endorse marrying outside of your own. But even more so than the people
that have a problem with how D. Washington gets down on paper, are all the people out there who have given me a tremendous feeling of support and encouragement with the work that the Lord has placed upon my heart to push. The scary part is when people started approaching me and asking me, 'Well what does the Bible say about such and such..?'

It's a bit scary to me, because the last thing I would want to do, would be to disseminate false and erroneous information. Whenever people look to you to interpret Scripture, it'll make you get deeper into your Bible, studying and praying for the Lord to give you the wisdom and knowledge to represent like a real soldier of the Lord should.

Most people here at servinemup.com didn't fully realize my conviction for the Christ until I dropped Soldiers In the Hood. That was my first public foray into expounding on the gospel of Christ. When one of my fellow Southsiders from 3rd Ward first read it, he quickly proclaimed, 'That's your freshest one yet!'

I guess I had overlooked the fact, that God has blessed me with a Biblical foundation that few can rival. The staff of Sunday School teachers and Bible scholars at Blueridge Baptist Church in Sunnyside, Houston, Texas is legendary throughout the Southern Baptist community as being a strong Bible teaching house of faith. Compared to others in my family, I'm actually quite average on the Bible knowledge curve, but compared to the people in the world around me (co-workers, classmates, etc.) I'm in the upper echelon of people who know what that Word says. And when you know that you're around a lot of folks who have never read or studied the Word, then you know what the Lord wants YOU to do..right?

God blessed me with some wonderful parents who not only brought me and my sister up so that we knew the Lord, but they also showed us through their daily walk what God's intended purpose for a marriage really looked like in live action. So now that I'm a married father, with all the responsibilities of being a husband and father, I fully realize just how important it is to have a strong spiritual foundation. If you don't have a Rock to lean on, or the Word to guide you when that path gets murky..the world becomes a lot lonelier than it is for those who have a Saviour.

I know the Lord has made a way for me and my wife to weather many storms. We've survived pains of fear, distrust, anger, financial woes, unemployment, sick children, having a child be retained, car problems, we've been through it ya'll..more so than most people realize. And whenever someone asks me just what is the key for D and T staying together and loving each other, I have to point to the cross. There is a healing power found in that blood ya'll and once you experience the forgiveness that can only be found through Christ, then you will have a stronger desire to share that forgiveness with others. I even forgive the dude (or chick) who broke into my car and stole my laptop yesterday. But even if it's something that the devil meant to deter me from my mission, I'm not tripping, cuz I know my Lord is gonna flip it to the good.

I pray to the Lord daily for guidance and understanding. But the thing about prayer, is that you have to be very careful of what you pray for. Because when he grants you your prayers, you have to be prepared to receive it. And as much as I want to just clown and have fun and "ack a fool!!" with my pen, I always remember that I have a higher calling to follow. That's why I make sure to recite Psalms 19:14 everytime before I start writing..

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

And the best thing about it all, is that none of ya'll will be able to say that you never heard the Word, no matter where you are in the world right now. Cuz the Lord sent D, and He gave me the explicit instructions to let them fools know!