I’m go shine baby til my heart stops
Go head and envy me, I’m rap’s MVP
And I ain’t goin’ nowhere til you get to know me.
- The Game feat. 50 Cent, ‘Hate It or Love It’
Last night, I was talking on the phone with one of my friends and he overheard me asking my wife if she knew where my headphones were….
“Whatchu need your headphones for??” he asked me.
I’m about to do some work.
Work? You about to do some work now?? It’s after 10 o’clock!
Yeah..well..my clock doesn’t stop because of time.
Oh..okay. (He kinda gave me that ‘oh okay’ like he didn’t know what the hell I was talking about tone..I tend to have that affect on people from time to time)
You don’t like to listen to music while you work?
Yeah..but you know, with my job if I mess something up cuz I’m jamming too hard, I can go back and fix it, but with your job, if you mess something up, somebody is go be mad cuz they ain’t getting water where they’re supposed to.
(laughing) Yeah..but I’m not talking about work for my job, I’m talking about my real work..writing.
Oh..well yeah, I guess you can listen to music while you’re doing that…what do you listen to when you write? Some DJ Screw or something like that??
Sometimes.. it just depends on what mood I’m in..tonight I’m jammin’ that new 50 Cent.
See..I new it had to be something hood. What’s the name for the next article you bout to put out there?
Soul Food.
Soul Food? Do you mean the TV show or real soul food? Cuz you know titles don’t really mean sh’t with yo az..you’ll have a n’ga reading one thing and thinking it’s going to be about something, and then the next thing you know, you flip the script and make it turn out to be about something else.
Well..you know..that’s my job as a writer. When I’m working at my best I’m making people expand their mind and think about things they’ve never thought about.
Oh yeah..that’s what you call it huh?
Yep! And I ain’t going nowhere til they get to know me.
What??
Never mind mane, gone and watch the game, I gotta get to work, I’ll holla atcha later. (click)
________________________________
Fortunately ya’ll, I found my headphones! Yaaay! Cuz I like to settle down on my couch in the quiet den in the night hours, pop in the CD that feels closest to my mood and just go for mine. Sometimes it’s gospel, sometimes it’s hard core Screw, you can never tell with me..I’m just that kinda n’ga. It used to worry me, this weirdness that caused so many to look at me with a cocked head of confusion. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve found solace in knowing that it’s actually a good thing being ‘weird’ in this world. I’m not bland like dry toast, I'm more like hot water cornbread, Spicy with a lil thug stirred in my coffee..it’s all good. I asked my wife what she thought the average reader who didn’t know me thought when they first read a servinemup article.
“They think you're crazy!” she said matter of factly without a moment’s hesitation.
“But what about the people who already know me?”
“The people that know you already KNOW you’re crazy!”
“But relatively..compared to my kinfolk, I’m really one of the mild ones”
“Don’t fool yourself D” it looked like she was trying not to laugh, “You might not be MORE crazy than your family, but you’re definitely not LESS crazy than they are. ALL of ya’ll are crazy!”
“Alright now..watch yo mouf..don’t act like I ain’t neva met none of yo people.”
Sometimes you gotta be careful when you start referring to in-laws, cuz some people take it too far and start trying to play the dozens on the cool. I know a lot of ya’ll may THINK I’m crazy, but obviously ya’ll haven’t met my father, or his mother, or my crazy az uncles and aunties yet. I’m really about a 6 out of 10 on the crazy scale, cuz as you know, Crazy is Relative.
The equipment that my company manufactures is used by anyone who needs to move, meter or monitor water and/or wastewater. So we work closely with golf course irrigation, sports fields, municipal lift stations, fire control..you get the picture? Now the weird thing about it, is that our company is relatively small, and to date, no one at my job knows about my ‘other’ job, of writing. They know I’ve had technical articles published in some of the trade magazines for our industry like Turf Magazine, California Fairways and Pumps & Systems, but they know nothing about my book writing or even my hustle gig here at http://www.servinemup.com/. I’m sure the day is coming that my manager is going to walk into my office and make some smart az comment about servinemup or D.E. Washington, after he lands in an email distribution list that has a link to my website. Once that day comes, I know that I have arrived. Cuz most of the people I work with are heathens who don’t go to church and remotely believe in God, and they’re white..so, the chances of them being ‘served’anytime soon is pretty slim to none, but I’m working on it. If you do a Google search for servinemup, you’ll see at least a page of links pop up. I’ve been making my way around the web, planting my trail of seeds for others to follow to the realest blogger on the world wide web.
There’s a lot of writers getting down for theirs on the web. A friend of mine sent me the link to this one chick out of Atlanta at http://www.ghettointellect.com/ that I think is positively off the chain! She’s intelligent, funny and real. But all ya’ll holier than thou curse word police that are easily offended? That ain’t the place you want to be, cuz you’ll probably get your feelings hurt. Some people may read her blog and think that it’s not something that a good Christian should be reading, just like some folks read servinemup and think that it’s not something a good Christian should be writing, with all the curse words and ‘n’gaz’ thrown over the place like plaster. If the world that you are living in is so isolated that you get thrown off by four letter words, then you need to get out more and volunteer at a homeless shelter or mentor some underprivileged kids and see what’s really going on out there on the street. I fully acknowledge the need for all of us to learn how to live together and love one another, but D. Wash and his ‘filthy mouth’ ain’t the problem mane, I’m grinding toward the solution. And the sad fact is that there are a lot of people that would never read this far down into the page without the occasional curse word placed in timely spots for emphasis or comedic effect. Stop hating and get in the game mane, n’gaz on the sidelines spectating always got something to SAY about the game, yet they never get IN the game and actually DO anything themselves. Have you EVER shared the link to http://www.servinemup.com/ with other’s in your email distribution? What about lately?? Hmmm..
So..my wife was telling me that everybody either thinks or knows that I’m crazy…
You even got folks thinking that we have Mr. and Mrs. Incredible outfits!!
I couldn’t help but start laughing then…
Aww baby, that’s just some gonzo journalism, it loosens people up.
She gave me one of those looks like, ‘What the hell is gonzo journalism???” Of course, it’s easy for me to floss and act all smart like I always knew the meaning for that term, but the truth is that I only recently found out what it meant myself. Last month, a guy by the name of Hunter S. Thompson passed away, and for those who don’t know him, he was a critically acclaimed writer who some consider mastered the art of ‘gonzo journalism’. Basically it’s a form of writing and reporting, where the writer is actually a part of the story and all the events that are described aren’t quite 100% factual, there’s some embellishing and liberties taken to make the event covered more entertaining for the reader. Hunter started as a beat writer for a newspaper, then he sold a couple of stories to magazines and his big break was when Rolling Stone picked up one of his stories which eventually became his most famous book, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. The excerpt below is from the first paragraph of the book..
" We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?" Then it was quiet again. My attorney had taken his shirt off and was pouring beer on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the hell are you yelling about?" he muttered, staring up at the sun with his eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to drive." I hit the brakes and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough. "
I don’t know about ya'll, but that right there is HILARIOUS to me. Of course, I’m not down with the blasphemy and using the name of the Lord in vain (I don’t do that!), but you can’t knock the talent, cuz it’s real. So after I learned out about this thing called gonzo journalism, I reflected back on my work and I realized that it shared a lot of the same characteristics. The real spooky part is that Hunter S. Thompson put a gun to his head and committed suicide. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the writing..I dunno. But what I DO know, is if ya’ll EVA pick up a newspaper and see a story that says, ‘Writer D.E. Washington Committs Suicide!”, ya’ll need to have the police, FBI, ATF, Coast Guard, military, congress, senate, CSI, Berretta(I hear he’s looking for work now) and all your cousins and kinfolk start an investigation, cuz somebody would have had to set me up!!
But for real tho..I know ya’ll may still be thinking,’What the hell does any of this have to do with Soul Food???” Well, it’s a simple equation really. What ever you feed your soul, is bound to be manifested in your being. Just like with real food, if all you do is eat a bunch of junk food and fast food, then it’s bound to show up in the way your body looks and feels. But ya’ll know I’ve got some real parents, and they don’t play that junk food diet thing, they're all about putting some good soul food on the table and whatever you got, you betta make sure you made a Happy Plate. But the food was always so good and off the chain, eating everything on your plate was rarely a hard task. Both my mother and my father are excellent cooks. When people roll through their house, you’re likely to see them serving something like roasted turkey wings, collard greens, okra, REAL macaroni and cheese (not that bullsh’t with the powdered cheese), hot water cornbread..coffe, tea or punch. And then my mama always has something sweet to eat, like..oh, my bad? Is this making you hungry? I know all those who are fasting for Lent, or during their 40 days of purpose may have a hard time dealing with these images right now, but don’t let me throw you off..focus on the Lord mane..focus on the Lord.
A lot of my friends know that I’m actually kinda watered down and tame right here on servinemup, they know that I have a higher gear of crazy that I can take it to, more so than what I’ve shown to date and they wonder what’s made me more..you know..’full of that Jesus talk’. I know one of the biggest fears that those who have not repented, and given their life over to the path that the Christ prescribes for all children of God to follow, is that they’re afraid of losing their identity. They like who they are and how they do it and they ain’t trying to hear nobody telling them to ‘change’. I know, because I was one of these hard headed people who didn’t want to bow down and submit. More so than fear, it’s a pride thang.
I ain’t no mf slave! I’m my OWN man!! Blah-blah-blah..
The thing most people don’t realize, is that God doesn’t want to change who you are, He made us all individually with our own Free Will. But what God does want to change is who you serve. Ya feel me? Long as you praying to that god of me, myself and I, you’re going to be stuck right there where you are. But once you bow down in obedience to the Word, that’s when you’ll be ready to get some thangs done in this world FO-REAL. Another common complaint is that, “I’m not ready for all that right now, I’ll start getting closer to the Lord once I kick this bad habit I got.” The problem with that, is that you ain’t about to kick nothing without the Lord’s help. God doesn’t expect any of us to approach Him as perfect people, He wants us to come with a bowed head and humble heart just as we are. As you walk toward Him, He will strengthen you and that Spirit will start working inside you to move you toward achieving your fullest potential. This ain’t something I just made up or theorized either, it’s what the Bible (Phillipians 2:12-13) says, and it’s something that I’ve seen not only in my life, but also in the lives of several of the closest people to me. I’ve seen the Lord take those same uncles that used to shoot dice with my dad in our garage, with a washing machine full of iced down brews and I’ve seen the Spirit work in them where those same n’gaz that were down on their knees trying to catch a point, now down on their knees praying for their families and/or congregation as preachers, pastors, deacons and Sunday School teachers. That Holy Spirit is very much alive and well ya’ll, and if you don’t believe me, all I can tell you is to taste and see how sweet He really is (Psalms 34:8). People ask me about my transformation..or my metamorphosis and how it came about. I tell them that it started with a thirst for knowledge and understanding, that could only be quenched by reading the Bible. I’m to a point now where Bible study is a part of my daily routine, I’m all the way gone on that Jesus ya’ll..my worship is not confined to Sunday’s, I seek Him everyday in prayer and meditation. But the thing is that living in this world, with the images we have in the media, on television, at the movies, on the radio..there’s a lot of things out there in our daily view that will keep us distracted from focusing on the cross. So instead we watch those booty shaking videos, porn flicks, gossip shows, people getting a laugh at the expense of hurting someone else’s feelings..we live in a world full of haters. And the only way to combat this, is by making a more directed effort to control your spiritual diet. If you’re constantly feeding yourself stuff that will ‘get your money right’..or get ‘tight abs’ or Jerry Springer and Cheaters, and you never feed that soul..then you’re going to remain in spiritual infancy. If it goes neglected over time, this spiritual need to be closer to God will begin to atrophy and harden. The next thing you know, each weekend will pass and you will become more and more comfortable without attending any worship service. Before long, you won’t even think about it unless your Grandma jams you up over the holidays as you’re going to get another helping of them greens…
You been going to church baby?
Uhh..well, I’ve been a couple of times Grandma.
A coupla times?? Boyy..you got them young kids you raising, you NEED to join somebody’s church and start taking them kids to learn about the Lawd!
I know, I know..it’s just that Sunday’s are normally our only day to relax.
Relax?? Boyy, don’t you know that if it wasn’t for the Lawd and His amazing Grace and Mercy, that you wouldn’t even have a place to lay your head to relax!!?
Yes ma’am.
You can’t argue with Grandma mane..just gone and admit that she’s right and gone about your business. C’mon now, if a n’ga like ME can start going to church regularly, then I KNOW you can !! No, it’s not a requirement for entering into His kingdom in Heaven, but if you DO believe in our Saviour, then you will start heeding the call of that Word. And the Word says that obedience is better than sacrifice (I Samuel 15:22). You can be breaking off all kinda financial assistance to the homeless or sending your money to church, but the Lord wants YOU to be there..honoring the Sabbath and keeping it holy. But if you’re steady caught up in that freak action, or out playing golf, watching football, sleeping, shopping, playing dominoes, whatever it is you do on weekends and you never make time for the Lord? Then you need to think about that the next time you get on your knees asking Him for something. Yeah, God CAN hear you, but you gotta get to the back of the line, cuz there are millions of righteous folks, who pray and worship diligently who’s prayers are going in front of yours, cuz the prayers of the RIGHTEOUS availeth much (James 5:16)…ya feel me? That doesn’t mean you should stop praying, it just means you need to make your game tighter and get real in your worship.
When I first published the Abbeville Etouffee Recipe, my intent was to start publishing other recipes regularly. But after reading it one day, it occurred to me that everybody doesn’t need to be eating a dish that contains a whole stick of butter. Yeah, it tastes good, but ya’ll can’t be eating that EVERY DAY. So I had to chill on the recipe thang for a bit, at least until I can get some more cholesterol/blood pressure friendly one’s to post. But since so many people have asked me what I feed my spirit in terms of the written word, I thought I’d list all of the books that I’ve read this past year..well, actually, since my last birthday, so it’s more like what I’ve read in the last 16 months. Now ya’ll already know that I read the Bible daily, but some have asked what translation. I read Strong’s Authorized King James Version Bible, as well as the MacArthur Study Bible. Whenever I want to dig deeper, and get off into my word study and look up the original Hebrew or Greek word or passage, I have my Strongest Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance that my parents got me for my 33rd birthday. It’s that heavy hitting gat for when you want to get DEEP off into that Word. But everybody ain’t got that kinda appetite, but hey, we are where we are. Mixed in to my Bible reading and study, I also read my weekly Sunday School lessons from UMI’s Urban Study Guide books (who’s wonderful editor Katara Washington happens to enjoy the Etouffee recipe!), as well as the Standard Lesson Commentary of International Sunday School Lessons. I have a somewhat weird range of selections. (listed in no particular order) :
Revelations, There’s a Light after the Lime – Pastor Mason Bethea
On Air Volume II – Tavis Smiley
On Being a Writer – Bill Strickland
Writing Past Dark – Bonnie Friedman
The Master Cleanser – Stanley Burroughs
God’s Vision or Television – Carl Jefferey Wright
The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
Shutter Island – Dennis Lehane
The World of the Old Testament – Packer-Tenney-White
The Art of War – Sun Tzu
The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
We Shall Not Sleep – Clyde Owen Jackson
On the Down Low – J.L. King
Discovering David’s Destiny – Timothy J. Winters
Do the Write Thing- 7 steps to Publishing Success – Kwame Alexander
Rich Dad, Poor Dad – Robert Kiyosaki
The Best Short Stories by Black Writers 1899-1967 – edited by Langston Hughes
The Amen Corner – James Baldwin
The Cost of Discipleship – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Lost in the City – Edward P. Jones
The Known World – Edward P. Jones
50 Years of Timeless Treasures – Dr. Gardner C. Taylor
Dreams from My Father – Barack Obama
The Purpose Driven Life – Rick Warren
Some people trip out that I rarely read any modern black writers like EJ Dickey or E.Lynn Harris, but as you can see, I’ve always been partial to the historical classics. I like to study those writers who have stood the test of time and I also like to read those writers who I feel feed my soul with something real and not that junk food. When you combine that with the fact that the only time I watch TV is if I’m watching football (NFL) or golf, then you can see why I’ve been growing this past year. I’m eating that real food. I’m not flossing about it, or trying to thump my chest and show off how ‘smart’ I am, it’s just that a lot of people ask how I got to where I am in my walk and in my faith, so now you know.
Now for those who are smirking and thinking it’s a joke, let me tell you a real story to make you start tripping. I’m sure by now, everybody has heard about the guy in Atlanta who jacked a sheriff constable for her gun and went into the court room and shot the judge and the reporting clerk in the court room where he was about to go up for a rape retrial last Friday? Well, ya’ll know the police caught him after a woman who he had overpowered and forced his way into her apartment had turned him in. The wild part is that after he forced the woman into her apartment and tied her up, she started talking to him about the Bible and a book that she was reading, The Purpose Driven Life. He made the comment that that stuff didn’t matter, because he knew that after what he had done, he was a dead man. She told him that that wasn’t true, and that God has a plan for him, even at his stage in life. She read aloud to him from the 33rd chapter of the book, How Real Servants Act. And he listened intently as she read it, so much so that he asked her to read it again. She told him that God could have planned for him to use his testimony, whether in jail or on death row, to lead other’s toward the Light. She made him pancakes and he eventually let her go free, after exclaiming that she must be an angel that God sent to deliver him. Fortunately after that, no one else was hurt and he turned himself in peacefully and without incident. But who knows what that scenario would have ended up in if she wasn’t well fed in the Word as well as Pastor Warren’s groundbreaking manifesto on the meaning of life!! So many people want to take the short cut to happiness and peace and look for the cliff notes or abbreviated versions of Scripture, because they don’t have the time, interest or attention span to really study the Bible for themselves.
Hopefully, my words can serve as an appetizer to spur someone’s appetite to pick up their Bible and start reading the Word for themselves. Some Bible scholars recommend starting with the gospel of John for those who have never read the Word, while others say start from the beginning in Genesis. No matter where you start,or how you read it, just start taking a few minutes out of your day to read and meditate on the Word. No matter your reading ability, God will meet you at your level of understanding. I know it’s a lot harder thing to do for those who have never had anyone to guide or direct them to a better understanding. I can’t empathize with your plight, because I’ve always been surrounded by strong hearted and REAL people that have rooted themselves in the Word of the Lord.
I know everybody doesn’t have the chance to read the Bible with their grandfather and discuss theological things like why Nicodemus (John 3:1-21) went to visit the Lord at night ..and I know that everyone doesn’t get a chance to go over the Sunday School lesson with their father and/or mother. But no matter where you started from, you’re here now baby and you have free will over the next step you make in your life. Gone and realize that purpose that God has meant for you and your life mane!. Welcome to servinemup ya’ll!! Hate it or love it, D.Washington is still on top
