Sunday, November 27, 2005

Convictions, Dope and Jesus the Christ

was browsing through the website (www.servinemup.com ) and I actually found myself laughing out loud. I can write some pretty wild things sometimes. I can only imagine what someone who doesn’t live in my head would think when they read my work.



Since I have no formal training in writing or even in any form of English or literature, I find myself reading other writer’s work and I feel like a kid in a candy shop. J.D. Salinger is a wild dude, I don’t have to meet him, I can just tell by how he wrote The Catcher in the Rye. It’s one of my all time favorites. Holden Caulfield is my kinda n’ga. Why?



Because he has the balls to go against the established patterns of normalcy. Once you start doing something different than what everybody else is doing, the guards put a spotlight on you and you hear this loud voice over the megaphone..



FREEZE N’GA!!! LOCK YOUR FINGERS BEHIND YOUR HEAD AND LIE FACE DOWN ON THE GROUND!!!



Have you ever been pulled over by the police (or some enforcement agency) and made to do something like that? No? Not even hands on the hood, spread em? You’ve never even been in handcuffs in the back of a police car?? Oh. Well..maybe you won’t feel me then, cuz it’s definitely a different kinda experience to go through. As is being convicted.



The wild thing is, I never even knew that I was ‘convicted’ until my uncle who pastors a church in Port Arthur explained it to me. I just knew something was different about me. Instead of hanging out with the fellaz or just chillin around the house, I found myself spending most of my free time reading or writing.



Now exactly what is ‘free’ time..I really don’t know. Because I still have to get up and go to a job everyday. I still have to fulfill my turns in the rotation of getting our kids fed and off to school in the morning and picking them up from my parents house after school. Homework has to get done. Then there’s the various assortment of activities that the kids are involved in that requires a time commitment. We’re a church going family, not just on Sunday’s either. And then there’s my wife, she likes for me to at the very least look at her and act like I’m paying attention to what she’s saying a few minutes out of everyday.



As you can probably tell by now, I have a tendency to get ‘caught up’.



I could be staring right at her or at the TV screen or whatever, but my mind will be a million miles and light years away. Usually when I go into a trance like that around my dad, he starts shaking his head and telling me I smoke too much of that ‘dope’.



But dad..this isn’t dope..these are just cigars.



Cigars?? How much did they cost??



These series R’s cost about 6 bucks apiece.



6 Dollars?? For ONE cigar?? N’ga if you go spend that much money..it BETTA be some dope in it!!!



Okay..I just did it again..I’m laughing out loud, cuz that’s funny to me. It kinda reminded me of that piece Richard Pryor did when his grandmother caught him snorting cocaine in the bathroom and she started freaking out so much that he flushed it all down the toilet just to calm her down…



You paid how much for that?? N’ga!! Why did you flush it down the toilet?? You shoulda sold that sh’t back to the n’ga you got it from!!



Of course, my father and I never REALLY had that conversation, I kinda just made it up. Okay, okay..I didn’t make it up completely, I just embellished it a bit. Well dammit, if you’re going to be THAT pushy about it I’ll gone and tell you, it was actually my mom that I had that conversation with..okay?? Are you happy now?? Geez..talk about a tough crowd.



So, back to this conviction.



I knew something monumental had taken place in my life when I got to that part that said, “The grace of our LORD Jesus Christ be with you all. A’-men.”



In case you didn’t know, that is the last verse in the book of Revelations. And since Revelations is the last book of the Bible, that makes that the last words of God’s Word. I had accomplished my task that I had set out to do. I read the Bible in it’s entirety.



I didn’t just skim through it, just so I could say, “There! I read it!!”



No..I studied it. I still study it daily. I read and reread certain passages over and over. One of my podnas saw that it took me 7 months to read the Bible in it’s entirety that first time and he looked at me incredulously, almost as if I was a complete idiot..”Why did it take you so long???”



I’m kinda slow like that. I have to read things over and over to make sure I understand what is going on. Plus, I have a tendency to read one sentence or even one word and it will trigger a whole different tangent of musings and recollections in my mind. It’s not just when I write, I get caught up when I read too!! And just imagine, I’m not even on any kind of medication!!! Scary.



But this conviction that I speak of, has nothing to do with the Texas Department of Corrections or catching a federal case. This conviction that I speak of, is the conviction for the Christ. That is His name you know, Jesus THE Christ.



Jesus is the Greek form of His name, His mama called Him Ye’Shua, which translates the closest to Joshua. A lot of people don’t know that. Just like they don’t know that Christ, is the Greek form of Messiah..the Savior.



See, once you get convicted by the Christ, your whole life changes. It’s no longer all about you, it’s all about Him and you really know you ‘got it’ when you can’t keep it to yourself…you’ve got to tell somebody about that Name above every other name. It’s a lot of different supernatural powers going on around us, but Jesus is God with a big G, all that other stuff is with a little g. Ms. Cleo or the hoodoo man might be able to turn a rod into a snake, but Jesus’ snake will swallow all the other one’s whole. Do ya feel me?



Some of my friends kinda started looking sideways at me and backing up a lil bit.



Whoaa. That n’ga D is on some of that other kinda sh’t. He ain’t hanging out like he used to.



I know what you mean!! I called that n’ga the other day and asked him about going half on a pound and he told me that he don’t get down like that no more.



DISCLAIMER TO ALL THE SMOKERS: Don’t call me asking about where it’s at. And no, I can’t refer you to anybody, Jamal Lewis caught a case over that same sh’t and I’m sitting around nervous right now wondering if somebody got ME on tape. I’ll start singing some Jodeci on ya’ll n’gaz, “My phone doesn’t ring anymore…”



And it’s true too. I can’t mess around with those felonies anymore, God has delivered me from that. Now I’m still dealing with a misdeameanor or two from time to time, but the Lord is still working on me with that too. Don’t sit up there and look all crazy, ya’ll n’gaz done got speeding tickets and had warrants befo’ too. I thought I was through with the ‘hook up’ merchandise, especially after that hater stole my laptop..but a hustleman came through the barbershop the other day with some shoes out the box that was my size…I COULDN’T pass that up!! $25 for some A.I.’s and a T-shirt to match??? Shiiii …I ain’t THAT holy!! Pack it up..I’m ready!!!



Did you hear the one about the mythical land of ducks? There’s this community of ducks in a far away land that had the capacity of reason and religion. Seems these ducks had formed a worship community and even had them a good ol down home duck preacher. And that duck preacher got up in the pulpit one morning and spoke of their condition as thus saith the LORD…



‘God made each and every one of us as ducks. We have feet to waddle, and we can swim. But what most ducks don’t realize, is that each and every one of us has wings on our backs. God has given us the ability to fly. To soar high into the sky.’



His sermon was met with a resounding response, quacks of amen and halleluia!! When the service was over, all the ducks came by to shake the preacher’s wing and tell him what a good job he did and how he really opened their eyes and hearts to what God has in store for them. They even invited him over to eat fried chicken after church. (Duck preachers like fried chicken too ya know?) And after all the congratulations and heapings of praise on how wonderful the duck preacher’s exegetical skills were, all of the ducks turned around and waddled out of the church and waddled back home.



Didja get that? No? Well then more than likely, you haven’t been convicted…yet.



Now the wild part about having that spotlight on you and being commanded to assume a defenseless position, is that people who aren’t IN the game already, will walk by and see your predicament and think you’re crazy…



That n’ga brought all that sh’t on hisself…if he would have just shut up and gone along with what everybody else was doing, everything would have been alright. Hell..the n’ga got some flow and he’s funny as hell, he coulda been writing skits for the Chappelle Show or something, but he keep putting that “Jesus Jesus” into the mix and people ain’t trying to hear that! Especially not Hollywood..I told him just to shut up and be cool. Go along with the flow and make that money..but noooo..that n’ga is too hard headed. Now look at him…locked up!!



Yeah…look AT me.



Blogging is a lot like selling rocks, you’ve got to be on your grind pushing work everyday. I started on the web pushing blog for blog. But then I moved on up in the game, and I went from slanging rock for rock, and now I’m pushing quarters and halves. It’s rare that you can read anything of mine in less than 15 minutes these days. I’mma make you sit down and take some time and thank about it. That’s just where I am right now. But just wait til you see how I get down on paper. A lot of people are asking me about my first book..When’s the release date? I don’t know yet. How long is it gonna be? A full ounce on the scale..dry. Is it fiction? Uhhh, not exactly…it’s Real Game and it’s going to make the dope boys go craaaazy!!



Wow…look at the time!! That’s 1,842 words without any pictures, sounds, links or gimmicks. Straight text, uncut and it’s all legal. Yeah…look AT me.



[note: Neither the writer, D.E. Washington or the publishing company, Servinemup Ink, support the glorification of drug use or drug trafficking. CI’ve never sold crack in my life, I just happened to smoke a lil bit one time..on accident.]